


Home Again

by OmniAni



Series: Take My Hand And Home We'll Go [5]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Blood and Violence, Canon Rewrite, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Reader-Insert, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-04-06 09:10:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 50,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19059604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OmniAni/pseuds/OmniAni
Summary: Six years after Praimfaya, Y/N Kane still waits for her friends from space to return, but instead strangers from another time threaten her family and the existence of the last arable land on earth. Welcome to season 5 of the 100.





	1. Eden

**Author's Note:**

> This is a hefty chapter kids. Enjoy!! Also as for the Trig in this chapter, I know a little, but I was mostly just writing it phonetically so sorry if it's not super accurate lmao.

**6 Days After Praimfaya**

I blinked my eyes open to fluorescent lights. Taking a deep breath was more painful than I anticipated. My lungs burned. Pounding in my head like my skull was splitting open elicited a groan. Nausea twisted my stomach around. And my skin felt like it was on fire. Holy hell, I was not in good shape. 

But I was alive. I was alive! I was right. Clarke's nightblood synthesized into my system and metabolized the radiation for me. I was a nightblood now. 

I pushed up on the glass tube encasing me in a medical pod. Shakily, I stepped out. A wave of dizziness overcame me, and I fell to the floor, retching. Immediately, Clarke was at my side. 

"Hey, hey, take it easy," she murmured, helping me to my feet and steadying me. When I wasn't in danger of collapsing anymore, Clarke threw her arms around me. "I can't believe you're awake. I was so worried the blood didn't work." 

Tears stung my eyes. I hugged her back, tight. "I'm here."

My throat was scratchy, my voice hoarse. I was a little worse for wear, rough around the edges, but I was okay. Clarke was okay. And I had to believe everyone up in space was okay, because I couldn't bear the thought of losing Bellamy, without really saying goodbye. Gently, I touched my ring. We would meet again. Not for a few years. But we would, and everything would be right with the world. 

I buried my face into Clarke's shoulder, refusing to let go. For the next five years, it would be just her and me against the world. A barren, sustain-less world. 

**28 Days After Praimfaya**

It had been nearly a month after the death wave struck the planet. I was still fearful to try going outside. I wanted to wait as long as possible before braving the irradiated air. Sure, I was immune now. But it wasn't any less terrifying. No one else was on the ground. They were above it or below it. 

Food was running low. By my guess we'd have to venture out in the next fifteen days to find something more of sustenance. Becca's lab was good for engineering genetics not cooking food. Everything here was already well past its expiration date. But food was food. 

"Do you think there's  _anything_ else you could play other than Green Day?" Clarke called from the lower floor of the lab. 

I turned up the radio in response. "Sorry, that's all there is on here! Besides, it's good!" 

"Hardly!" 

I smiled and rolled my eyes. I tapped my pencil against my teeth, trying to think. Amazing how much I missed writing. After all the insanity I'd been through since the first time I set foot on earth, I hadn't had a chance to embrace my creative nature. Storytelling brought me comfort, distracted me from my worry about everyone in space and in the bunker. It brought back fond memories of Charlotte. I hoped the afterlife was treating her well, that she was with her parents. I hoped my mother watched over her. And me too. 

I pressed my pencil to the paper and let my deep-set emotions take control of the words. I wasn't even registering what I was writing. All I knew was it felt like I'd found a missing part of myself. My smile grew as my pencil flew across the page, and I popped another stale potato chip in my mouth. 

**42 Days After Praimfaya**

I wrapped a large, ratty scarf around shoulders, ready to embrace the harsh world outside. Stuffing a pack full of the rest of our food and water, I headed up to the top of the lab, and pushed on the door. Rubble blocked the way. Grunting with effort, Clarke and I finally made our way out, into the bright light. My radiation burns were mostly healed now, but the intense heat of the sun beating down on me did nothing for my skin. 

Giving my hand to Clarke, I helped her up onto the top of the rubble. She pulled out a map from her pack and held it out in front of us. I scanned it, trying to keep up a positive attitude. Everything would turn out fine. 

Clarke sighed. "Two hundred and ten miles to Polis. At least we don't have to swim. We got this."

I stared out at the wasteland that was once a vast sea. Now, it was nothing but hot, dry sand. I swallowed nervously. "Yeah. We got this."

Together, we hiked down into the sand, away from the lab, past the lighthouse, all the way to the cairns where we'd called upon Luna's people so long ago. We dropped to our knees and pulled out shovels. I hoped to god that the rover was still functional, or this task would morph from difficult to pretty much impossible. It took hours, and I was drenched in sweat by the time we succeeded, but we did succeed. And thank god it still ran. 

Clarke hopped into the driver's seat so I could take a quick nap. I appreciated it. I knew she was just as tired as I was. Unfortunately, the rest was not satisfying. It was a sort of sleep that left me craving more as a heavier exhaustion weighed down my chest. 

Thunder woke me. I looked out the window of the rover to see that a huge dust storm was closing in on us from the left, raging way too fast for us to outrun it if it came our way. Thankfully, it changed course and we avoided disaster. I rolled up my window just in case. 

After another hour or so, I began to bore of the driving. Engaging in a game of eye spy did not help liven things up. The answer was always, sand, sand, my jacket, or sand. I welcomed the change of scenery when we finally reached Polis, but that relief only lasted a moment. Polis hardly existed anymore. Everything had crumbled. Reduced to a bunch of debris. The structures that still stood were worse for wear, blackened, covered in dust. 

Clarke and I hopped out of the rover and headed for the remains of the tower, where the bunker was located. I heaved myself up through a crevice of jagged stones until I reached the top. I offered Clarke my hand and pulled her up beside me. I gripped tight to her hand as we took in the carnage together. Digging out the bunker was going to be a bitch.

We tried. And tried. And tried. But neither of us had super strength. We couldn't haul away forty tons of concrete. We could barely shift it and inch. Only with our combined strength and a makeshift crowbar could we pull away a huge chunk of rubble to reveal an opening. I climbed inside, picking up the smaller boulders and bringing them back out for Clarke to dispose of. It was daunting work. But I had to make sure that my dad could get out eventually. Maybe they would even open the door for us if they knew we were out here. 

Frustrated, I grabbed a large chunk of rock and pounded on the hatch to the bunker. "I'm here! We're here! Dad!" 

No response. Not that I was really expecting one. Only my stomach grumbling replied. I took a break in the rover to eat my granola bar. One remained. If we didn't find something other than wasteland soon, we'd die of starvation. And that was the absolute last way I wanted to go. 

With my hunger partially satiated, I curled up in the back of the rover to sleep. It was much more refreshing than before. Probably because I was exhausted. My limbs ached more than they ever had. As soon as I closed my eyes, I dropped into dreamless sleep. 

I awoke to whistling wind. Clarke was asleep beside me. For once, she looked peaceful. I decided to give her a much needed break. I could work on my own for a while. 

We'd cleared away most of the smaller rocks, leaving only big chunks to strain my muscles at. I managed to move one hell of a rock, but not without stumbling into another pile of concrete. I stayed on the ground, sighing in frustration. We needed a winch. Something more powerful than just our hands. 

Clarke came back a few minutes later to help. At least she was less bleary-eyed than normal. We worked in silence, until I found a cluster of wooden structures stuck in the ground. I pulled on one, hoping to dislodge several pounds of rocks without much grunt work. Unfortunately, it brought down everything. Dust showered on us as the earth shook. I exchanged a panicked glance with Clarke before running towards the rover. I tripped, and tumbled out of the way as everything collapsed in on top of the bunker door. A mushroom cloud of dust erupted into the sky. 

"No," I breathed. Tears stung at my eyes. "No!" 

I buried my head into my hands, choking back sobs. No way in hell would we be able to dig them out now. The bunker wasn't an option anymore. 

**53 Days After Praimfaya**

I pressed the talk button in the radio, leaning my head against the window while Clarke wandered through the wreckage of Arkadia. "Where was I? Oh right, Polis. Up until that moment, I believed we'd live in the bunker with the others, with my dad. I can't bear the thought of leaving him down there, but the truth is we could dig for years and never reach that door. Clarke and I have been by ourselves for two months now. We've had each other, but this is the first time I feel alone. It's like we were never here. Maybe we never should have been. How the hell are we gonna make it five years? I hope you will. I hope Monty's algae isn't too horrible."

My throat tightened as I thought about Monty, all of my friends up in space. I missed them. 

I took a deep breath and continued. "We came to Arkadia looking for food or water, but all we found were ghosts."

Tears rolled down my face, hot and heavy as I picked up Jasper's goggles. He hadn't worn them in a long time. They carried all my happy memories of him, of the kid that never failed to brighten my day. Clarke found Maya's old iPod, and a letter Jasper left for Monty. Looking at it, she burst into tears, which only furthered my own sorrow. We were both pretty broken. 

"Part of me thinks that Jasper had the right idea. What's the point if all there is is pain and suffering?" I murmured. I sniffled and chuckled at myself. "Real cheerful, Y/N. I'm sorry. Ignore me, okay? I haven't had water in almost two days. We need to find some soon or I don't think we're gonna..." 

I trailed off, and put the radio down. I knew Bellamy couldn't hear me. But I talked to him every day. Just in case he could. And it made me feel closer to him, kept the connection alive. 

I cleared my throat. "Anyway, I doubt you can hear me on this piece of crap radio. But in case this is the last time I get to do this, I just wanna say....please don't feel bad about leaving me here. You did what you had to do. I'm proud of you. I love you, Bel." 

I squeezed my eyes shut, and took a deep breath. Finding something to drink was the priority now. I tucked the radio into the back of the rover and hopped into the driver's seat. Clarke hooked up Maya's iPod to give us some music as I sped through the open wasteland. The forests still stood, but they were like graveyards. Tall, brown, broken trees swaying in the wind. 

After driving for several hours, I stopped the rover atop a cliff in the middle of the depressing woods. Darkness fell, and I curled up with Clarke in the back of the rover. Amazing how cold it got at night. 

Rumbling thunder and the pitter-patter of rain woke me in the middle of the night. I smiled. Excitement flooded my veins. Rain! 

"Clarke!" I nudged her awake. 

"Huh?" 

I opened the door of the rover. "It's raining!" 

Immediately, her eyes lit up. Both of us dashed out into the pouring rain. I turned my head to the sky, letting the cool, refreshing water wash away the dirt and grime on my face. I opened my mouth, relishing in the first drink of water I'd had in what felt like forever. I hugged Clarke, overwhelmed with joy. 

While she took in as much water as she could, I rummaged through the rover looking for anything I could use to collect the rain. Finally, a sliver of hope. 

**56 Days After Praimfaya**

We'd run out of food completely. I held out with my granola bars as long as I possibly could, but eventually I had to finish it off. So when a huge bug hit our windshield, I had to stop. Clarke hopped out, and peeled it off the window. She split it in half, gooey guts and all, and shared it with me. Hardly enough, but it would give my body some sustenance. Besides, that bug was a good sign. Life existed here. Which meant we would be able to find more to eat. 

And, it wasn't  _that_ bad. Crunchy. Gooey. A little unsavory. But I could get used to it. 

Clarke waved me around front of the rover. "Here, look there's more." 

I snorted. "Feast's on." 

I pulled some crispy bugs from the grill of the rover and popped them in my mouth. Already used to it. Hunger really was a strange thing. 

Rumbling pulled me away from my meal. I looked up, hopeful, expecting another thunderstorm to bring more rain. Instead, I saw a huge yellow thundercloud roiling with sand, heading towards us. Both of us rushed back inside the rover to take cover, just in time for the storm to hit us. It shook the rover, tore at the windows. 

Clarke grabbed my arm, panicked. "The solar panels!" 

My eyes widened. "Shit. Stay here, I'll get them!" 

Pulling Jasper's goggles over my eyes and wrapping my head with a scarf, I hopped outside. I stumbled as the wind whipped around me. I pulled one of the solar panels off the side of the rover, but the wind ripped it from my hands before I could put it inside. I tried to make it to the other one, but I could barely take a step. As much as I hated to, I had to give up and take shelter in the rover. 

"I'm sorry," I said, when I clambered back inside, fighting to slam the door shut. I coughed out some sand. "I couldn't save them." 

Clarke shook her head. "It's fine. As long as you're okay." 

I smiled weakly at her and took a sip of water to clear out my throat. "Well, since we got the time, how about a game?" 

She shrugged. "Of what? Road games don't exactly work in the middle of a violent sandstorm." 

I rolled my eyes. "Have a little imagination." 

"You're the imaginative one. Always have been. I was jealous of that, you know. The way you have with words." 

"Like your drawings aren't something to be absolutely proud of. Look at that. We're both amazing, huh?" 

Clarke chuckled, and turned her attention out the window. "Yeah." 

We sat in comfortable silence for the next few minutes as we waited for the storm to pass. When it was gone, I jumped out to inspect the damage. Dread washed over me as I saw that all the solar panels were cracked, covered in sand, dislodged. Destroyed. The rover wouldn't work now. Not unless we could somehow find a way to make new panels. But the Solar Fields were hella far away. 

Clarke and I pulled out out packs filled with the essentials and set off. I glared at the horizon of the barren world, filled with determination. I would not be brought down so easily. Neither of us would. 

"You think you can kill us?" I whispered. "Have at it."

We walked without hardly stopping. Barren trees morphed into golden dunes with no end in sight. Wind blew the hot sand around us, threatening to blind me. We took shifts wearing Jasper's googles, otherwise the scarves would just have to be enough. 

By the fourth full day of walking across the endless desert, I finally couldn't take it anymore. Drenched in sweat, parched, exhausted beyond all belief, I collapsed into the sand. There was no more water in my canteen. No more food in my bag. And in no world would I force Clarke to share hers with me. This was it. Salvation wasn't going to appear. Death was fast approaching. 

Clarke knelt in the sand beside me, coaxing me to keep going. "We'll find something. We just have to keep pushing." 

I shook my head, crying without any tears. "I can't do it. I can't do it, Clarke!" 

Clarke's lip trembled. She pulled off her bag, her protective layers, everything, and collapsed. "I can't either." 

Overwhelmed by the heat of the beating sun, and the lack of water, I slipped into unconsciousness. 

A pinching in my arm awoke me god knows how long later. Groggily, I shook the sleep from my mind and glanced over to see a vulture tugging at my arm. I screamed, and shook it away. It hopped away from me, heading for Clarke instead. 

I smiled in spite of everything. A vulture here meant that something more arable had to be nearby. "Wait, show me where you live." 

I woke up Clarke and pulled my pack back on. Together, we chased after the flying bird. Panting, surging with hope, I raced up a huge dune, only to get to the top and find another endless expanse of sand. 

"No," I breathed. Dismay filled me. The sand beneath my foot dislodged, and I lost my footing. I tumbled back down the hill, taking down Clarke with me. At the bottom, frustration overwhelmed me. I screamed to the arid land. This truly was hopeless. "I'm done! Do you hear me? I've lost everything! I lost my friends! My mother! My father! I've got nothing left!" 

I broke down, sobbing. I barely registered Clarke's arms around me, but I leaned into her, cried into her shirt. I was done. I couldn't walk anymore. I couldn't do this anymore. We were all each other had, and both of us were going to die here in the desert. 

I really had seen Bellamy for the last time. 

I sniffled, and thought about the gun in the holster around my thigh. Right now, I could end it. Clarke would have more of a chance at survival without me to worry about. I pulled away from her, and put my hand on the holster. 

Before I could pull it out, seriously consider killing myself, a bird squawked above me. Clarke and I ran after it. I knew it could just be a mirage, that I could be giving myself false hope. But it was either follow it or die a miserable death in the sand. 

Propelling myself upwards, clawing my way through the sand, I finally reached the top. I almost cried. This time not in desperation, frustration, sorrow. But joy. In the valley below, a garden of Eden. Lush green trees stretched for miles. 

I smiled, and then I turned and shot the vulture that lead us here. Together, we hauled it down into the expanse of greenery, and set up a fire over which we roasted the bird. I licked my lips, relishing in the savory meat. It felt like forever since I'd have something so good. 

_I used to think life was about more than just surviving, but I'm not sure anymore. Animals don't feel guilty when they kill. They just do it. They kill, or they get killed. I tell myself that every life I took was for a reason. But the truth is, the other side had reasons too. The Grounders, the Mountain Men, even Alie. Their reasons to want us dead were the same as ours. It was us or them. Kill or be killed. Simple as that. So what now? What becomes of a warrior and the Commander of death when there's no one left to kill? I guess we'll find out. Because our fight is over. The question is, who are we now?_

I put my pencil down and tucked my loose papers back into my pack. It wasn't the same as a journal, but I had to put my feelings down on something. And now that we had a place in which we could survive, where we could  _live_ , I had the luxury of substantial time to actually address my emotions. And man, did that feel good.

Clarke and I took the liberty to explore the valley. There was a gurgling river of clear fresh water that we happily took a swim in. It was a refreshing change. And I actually had a bit of fun, splashing her. Both of us were smiling. Genuinely. For the first time since Praimfaya. 

After feeling clean, we changed back into our clothes and hiked to the center of the valley where a colorful village still stood. There were houses, wicker chairs, beautiful tapestries woven between the trunks of trees. But it was just the memories of humanity. There was no living person here. All dead from radiation. 

Together, we hauled the dead bodies to the edge of the village and gave them a proper funeral, burned them. I hoped they all found peace in the afterlife. 

**58 Days After Praimfaya**

"Wait till you see this place. It's like the death wave jumped over the entire valley. Unfortunately, the radiation didn't," I said, speaking into the radio again, sitting at a table while Clarke went to gather berries. "I've lost track of how many bodies we've burned since we've been to the ground. God this would be so much easier if I knew you were alive. If I knew I was gonna see you again. Positive thoughts, Y/N. It's been fifty-eight days. By now, Monty should have the algae farm producing. How bad does it suck? No offense, Monty. And we found berries. A whole field of them! Not very sweet, but beautiful. Clarke's getting some more right now, probably so she can paint so-" 

I stopped abruptly when I movement in my peripherals caught my eye. I turned over my shoulder to see a small dark hair child standing between two of the houses, staring at me. I put down the radio and stood up so fast spots danced in my eyes. I held up my hands to show I was unarmed. 

"Hey, it's okay," I called out to the girl. At the sound of my voice, she took off. I bolted after her. "Wait! It's okay!" 

Clarke would be perfectly fine without me at the encampment for a while. Hopefully it wouldn't worry her too much when she got back to find me gone. But I had to know who this child was, how she survived. I followed her down into a gorge before I lost sight of her. 

"Beja!" I shouted to the wind. "Ai jus gava chit yu op!" 

_Please! I just want to talk to you._

I wandered a little further and saw her again hiding behind some bushes. I offered her a small smile, and kept my hands up. "Hey, it's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you. Are you alone?" 

The girl studied be for another moment before taking off into the brush again. I groaned, and chased after her. 

"Are there others?" I called out, knowing full well she probably wouldn't respond. Didn't seem like the talkative type. I kept looking around, searching the trees for her. No sign of the kid until she appeared right in front of me, a few yards away. "Yu laik natblida, ya?" 

_You're nightblood, right?_

The girl didn't respond, only stared at me like she was waiting for something to happen. I kept reassuring her it was okay, cautiously stepping closer to her. One more, and indescribable pain shot through my leg. I screamed, and looked down to see my calf impaled by a bear trap. Holy  _fuck_. Searing hot pain enveloped the wound, and I could barely register it when the girl tackled me to the ground, knife in hand, screaming at me to die in Trig. She thought I was a Flamekeeper! I guess it made sense why she didn't want to be around me. 

I held up my arm to protect my face as she drove the blade towards me. The pain in my arm barely registered compared to the bear trap. But the fact that her dagger came away coated in black blood seemed to intrigue her. She clambered off of me, and stared inquisitively. 

"Natblida," She said, and then turned and raced into the woods. 

Sweat trickled down my collarbone as I tugged at the trap. Tears rained down my face as I pulled the trap open. Strangely, that made it hurt all the worse. With the pressure gone, the blood flowed faster, staining my pants, soaking my boot. It was a bitch to make it back home. I couldn't so much as touch my toes to the ground without a nauseating wave of pain washing over me. 

I finally made it back, to find Clarke just returning with some berries. I didn't even greet her. I figured my clearly unwell state would alert her that I needed help. I pushed the door open to one of the houses where I'd made myself at home. I shoved everything off the table on one side of the room and jumped on it. Groaning, I tore open my pant leg and took in the deep wounds. My breaths quickened as I realized I'd have to stitch it up. Or Clarke would. Either way it was going to hurt like hell. 

I opened Clarke's bag and pulled out some twine and a hook. Gritting my teeth, I stuck the hook through the top of my wound and began the excruciatingly painful process of sewing myself up. Thankfully, Clarke came in to relieve my shaking hands. I gripped the edge of the table as I screamed through the pain. Sweat drenched my clothes all the way through. I didn't even have time to tell Clarke what happened, because as soon as she finished dressing the wound, I passed out.

When I awoke, it was dark. My back ached from lying on the uncomfortable table. A sheen of sweat covered my face, and I wiped it away with the sleeve of my jacket. Beside me, a bowl brimming with berries was set out. I smiled. Just like Clarke. Always taking care of me. That smile faltered when dull pain in my leg caught my attention. In the dim light, I looked down at the wound to see that it was swollen, and the skin read and warm to the touch. Super not good. I had to fix it up, reduce the infection as soon as possible. 

Shaking the sleep from my mind, I reached for the end of the table where I'd left the backpack, only to find it gone. At first I thought maybe Clarke had taken it with her into her own hut, but then I turned over my shoulder and saw the girl staring at me from outside my window. Instinctively, I went for my gun, but it was gone. That certainly wasn't Clarke's fault. She had her own. 

"No, no, no," I whispered, panic rising in my chest. I was completely defenseless and this deranged child that led me into a bear trap had my gun. As far as I was aware, she had no idea of Clarke's existence and I wasn't about to alert her to it. I slid off the table and grabbed the first thing I could find - a wrench. I gripped it tight for the rest of the night. I touched my ring, and suddenly felt much safer. It was like Bellamy was with me, telling me everything would be alright. 

**59 Days After Praimfaya**

The sun shone bright the next day. I sat outside in the common area, eyes closed, letting the warm rays tickle my skin. I smiled, and popped a berry in my mouth. Still not very sweet, but strangely I liked the bitterness about it. But I could go for something a little more. Like fish. Or another vulture. 

"Hey," I said to Clarke, as she popped out of her hut. "Morning! I'm gonna head down to the river. Take a swim. Write a little. Try to keep my spirits up." 

She smiled and yawned. "Need me to come with you?" 

I shrugged. "Only if you want to. I think I can manage on my own." 

Clarke considered me for a while, clearly debating whether or not it was a risk for me to go alone. Finally, she nodded. "I'll be here if you need anything. I might join you later, after I make some paint. Just, try not to run into anymore bear traps, yeah?" 

I chuckled. "Yeah, as long as you keep a lookout for our little neighbor." 

Clarke smiled, and grabbed a handful of berries. "I will." 

She handed me a walking stick she must have crafted while I was passed out. I grimaced as I stood, but immediately hid my pain. I didn't want Clarke to worry too much about me. 

It was a long walk to the river with only one functional leg. Half the time, I stumbled or tripped and probably worsened my condition. But I got back up every time. Being in the water would be worth it. Being alone, talking to Bellamy without Clarke's silent pity would be good. Granted, I didn't bring the radio, but talking to the air was better than keeping it in. 

When I reached the shore of the river, I stopped in my tracks. The girl was there, ankle deep, spear in hand. I leaned against a large white rock and watched her work. She stared at the water, barely moving, until her weapon flicked in and out of the water like wooden lightening. Impaled on the end was a fish. I'll admit, I was impressed. 

"Ai tech aiyu pasae daun?" I asked.  _Can you teach me that?_ One look at me, and the girl took off. "Hodop!"  _Wait! "_ Kopof aikai lieron! Beja!"  _Give me back my things!_

She kept running. It wasn't like I could follow her. I sighed, and limped over to a rock close enough to the ground that I could sit on it and put my feet in the water. Grunting in pain, I pulled my boot off and rolled up my pants. The wound was not a pleasant sight. 

I huffed. "Last three people on earth, one of them happens to be a child from hell." 

I stuck my foot in the cool water, wincing as it lapped against my wound. After a while, it morphed to relief. I sighed, and rested my head against the rock. Despite the mishap with the child and the beartrap, I was actually, legitimately safe. For the first time in a long time. I just wished Bellamy was here to feel that too. 

After a while, I pulled some paper from my pack, and idly began to draw. I was never the best at it, but that didn't make it any less fun. When my mind wandered back to my pencil, I realized that I was drawing the girl. It wasn't great. I figured it would be a better tribute to her if I used my skills in words instead. So around the mess of my sketch, I began to tell a slightly embellished story of a wild little girl running around the woods, protecting her home against scary new strangers. I didn't quite know how to end it. I tapped my pencil against my teeth, thinking. 

I felt her watching me. Discreetly, I glanced over my shoulder in time to see her duck behind a tree. I smiled softly. I knew the ending of my little story now. 

_Oso kik soulou, ba ogeda raun. Yu ste briek au nau, strik natblida. Klir._

We live alone, but together as one. You're free now, little nightblood. Safe. 

I finished the story, and set aside the paper, putting a rock over it to keep it from flying away. Acting as if I had no idea the girl was watching me, I pulled on my boot, and limped away, with a smile on my face. 

**6 years later**

From the top of a boulder, I scanned the clear, bubbling river. A flicker of silver beneath the surface caught my eye. I followed it carefully, raised my spear, and launched it with practiced skill. It impaled my third fish of the day. Took a little longer than the other two, but I caught it so that was all that mattered. Stringing it on some twine along with my other catches of the day, I headed back to the huts. 

At the same time I returned, Madi returned in the rover. I glanced around, searching for Clarke, and spotted her carrying a large basket of strawberries and pears against her hip. Funny how I never had them my entire life until after the apocalypse. Thank god we did though, because they were incredibly tasty. Especially the way Clarke prepared them. Magic with drawing and with cooking. 

"Hey," I said to Madi, smiling at her. "Wash up! Time for supper." 

Madi ran after me as I headed for the fire pit to skin and roast the fish. She had a handful of colorful berries in her hand. "Look! The berries are ripe." 

I nodded. "That's nice. Here, look what I caught." 

Madi frowned. "Y/N, you promised. Last season there weren't enough, but this year they're everywhere. Please? I'll cook for a week. And clean up."

I smiled, unable to resist her puppy dog eyes. "Two weeks." 

Madi beamed, and my heart soared. I wished I could see her smile like that everyday. I'd do anything. "Deal! Come on, I'll drive." 

I dropped my freshly caught fish in a bucket of clean water and turned to Clarke as Madi ran for the rover. "Wanna come with?" 

Clarke wrapped her arm around my back and gave me a loving squeeze. "You did such a good job with her." 

"Please, it wasn't all me. All of us are a family, Clarke. You know that," I said, hugging her back. 

"But you're the one with the deeper connection to her. I admire that about you, the way you're so in tune with everything. You're more of a mother to her than I ever could be. I'm proud of you." Clarke smiled at me. I used to think it was envious, but I know she loves Madi as much as I do. Neither of us would make her choose, or do anything to compromise her happiness. In that way, we were both her mother. 

I laughed. "You've gotten  _so_ sappy these last few years. I almost don't recognize you. So, you coming or not?" 

Clarke nodded. "Count me in." 

All three of us headed to the edges of our home to gather up a basket of colorful berries. I helped Madi pick out which ones would be the best, threw a few at Clarke, started a  _very_  messy war, and by the time we got back, it was dark. 

Clarke prepared roasted fish and pears while Madi and I chopped some firewood and set it up in the fire pit. After munching on dinner, exchanging a few jokes and stories, I mashed up the berries. Clarke and I dyed each other's hair before I used the rest to run through Madi's braids.  

"How could you not think she would win?" Madi exclaimed in Trig. 

I thickened the berry solution, rubbed it between my fingers. "English, Madi. Practice." 

Madi obliged. "I'm just saying, Skairipa's a beast! Of course she'd win the conclave."

I smiled, but felt something fall inside of me. I thought about my other family every day. Feared that I'd never see them again. The time period had passed for them to come to the ground. I hoped everything was alright. 

Madi put a hand on my arm. "Don't worry. She'll get them out of that bunker. I know she will." 

I tried to keep my smile up, but it faltered. I looked to Clarke for help, but she seemed to be even more depressed than I was. I knew she missed her mom a lot. 

"I'm sorry they left without you," Madi murmured to us. 

I swallowed over the lump forming in my throat. "Well, I'm not. Because if we were with them, we never would have met you." 

Madi smiled, and lay her head down on my lap. Clarke scooted closer to me, and rested her head on my shoulder. I loved our nights around the fire, when I could hold them close, lose myself in the flames. I turned my head to the starry sky, searching it for any sign of a rocket. Just like every other night, there was nothing. 

"What about them?" I whispered, fighting back tears. "Do you think they'll come back too?" 

Madi didn't respond. I glanced down to see she was already half asleep. I brushed some strands of hair away from her face and leaned into Clarke. 

"They'll be okay," Clarke assured me. "Bellamy will come back soon."

I sniffled. "I hope so."

**6 years, 7 days after Praimfaya**

The ship that came down from the sky was not ours. A prison unit? I'd never even heard of something like that. They hadn't existed for several decades. This did not bode well for our happy little home. But I'd be damned if I let this scare me. Nothing was going to happen to Madi, not so long as there was breath in my body. 

"Madi, load the rover. Get it out of sight, and load the guns!" I ordered. 

"All of them?" Madi asked.

I nodded. "All of them. Clarke, keep her safe." 

"You stay out of trouble," she warned. 

I flashed her a nervous smirk. "I always do." 

Dread seeped into my bones as I stared at the transport ship. Whoever these people were, I wasn't going to let them in here without a fight. This was my home, our home. And I wasn't going to let anyone hurt my family. No matter what the cost. 

I jumped into the rover, Madi between Clarke and I. Speeding through the woods, a plethora of terrifying scenarios raced across my mind, each worse than the last. I tried to keep my breathing under control by training my gaze straight ahead. 

Madi glanced between us. "Who are they? Why are you so scared?" 

I shook my head. "I will not let anything happen to you. Do you understand?" 

"Well, maybe they're friendly," Madi offered. Ah that childish optimism. I'd had that until I actually had a child to love, to care for. 

I pursed my lips. "Maybe. Look, until I can figure this out, I want you to hide in your secret spot. Clarke, you too. I'm going to handle this on my own. Nothing is going to happen to either of you." 

Both of them protested. Clarke on my behalf, though I knew she agreed about keeping Madi out of danger. 

"This is not up for discussion!" I snapped. "The Flamekeeper scouts never found you there. Neither will they." 

I stopped at the edge of our village and turned to them. "Promise me you'll stay in the hole. I need you to be safe." 

Grim resignation crossed Madi's face. "What about you?" 

"I'll be back as soon as I can," I promised, offering her a small smile. "Now promise me."

Madi nodded. "I promise."

I handed Clarke my gun. "Keep her safe. If you shoot, they'll hear you." 

Clarke nodded. "We'll make sure it's the only choice."

"Go," I whispered. 

Both of them jumped out of the rover. Clarke followed Madi to their secret spot, giving me one last pleading look. I knew she didn't want me to die. But if that's what it came to in order to protect them, I would. I stared at them until they were out of sight, and then backed up the rover. 

I drove all the way back to where the ship came down. I watched them through the scope of my rifle, assessing what I was up against. There were a lot of them. All pretty burly, clearly bad news, led by a woman with cold eyes. And guns. Too many guns. Huge things, that I hadn't ever seen the likes of before. I figured it might have to come to me taking them out before they could use those alien weapons on us. 

I headed back to the cave I'd parked the rover in, and counted out all the bullets I had. If I was careful, I could maybe take out all of them. Stain my hands with blood, but do it to protect those I love. I loaded my rifle, and tucked my seven year old familiar knife into my boot just in case. 

In the distance, a gunshot reverberated throughout the land. Panic spread through me. Madi! Clarke! 

Gripping tight to my rifle, I sprinted through the woods back to the village. As soon as they were in sight, I stopped, aimed, and took a shot. One man went down. Madi's terrified eyes searched the woods. But I couldn't find Clarke. I took a moment to search for her, and found her aiming a gun at the other stranger. Silently, I shook my head. We'd already drawn enough attention. I could take this guy down. Clarke just needed to get to safety. I'd send Madi after her. 

Reluctantly, she got my message and disappeared. I raced out of the woods and attacked the other man standing over Madi. I hit him in the groin with the butt of my rifle, and kicked him to the ground while he was disoriented. I leaped on top of him, pinned his arms down and pressed my rifle against his throat, unrelenting. 

The man I'd shot got back to his feet, wrapping a cord around my neck. I spluttered and gagged, fighting to throw him off of me as my lung burned for relief. 

"Y/N!" Madi cried.

A gunshot rang out, and the man choking me slumped to the ground, lifeless. Madi stood there, shock in her eyes, and smoking gun in her hands. 

Gently I took it from her, and stroked her hair. "Hey, it's okay." 

I aimed the gun at the man who I'd been suffocating before I was attacked, ready to pull the trigger. 

"Wait!" Madi protested. "He tried to help me. I think he might be a good guy." 

My grip tightened on the gun. "There are no good guys." 

I fired a head shot, despite telling Clarke not to. Whatever it took to keep Madi safe. 

Whatever the hell it took. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW that took a long fucking time to write! But it certainly was fun! Obviously we'll skip over the next episode because it's just about the bunker. Hopefully you enjoyed this! Stay tuned for more!!


	2. Sleeping Giants

All three of us lay in wait hidden behind a ridge line  of mossy rocks. I kept my rifle trained on the man impaled by one of our traps. We'd led him here, and we'd lead the others into the traps until there was no one left to threaten our home. At least that was my plan. No matter how much Madi disagreed with it. I loved her, but I knew better. After everything Clarke and I had been through, we knew better. 

I watched as the man screamed, blood dripping down his torso, too close to death to be saved. Part of me felt awful for Madi's sake. But this was all to protect her. She'd understand that someday. 

"Guys, this isn't right," Madi said, looking at me with a morose look in her eyes. 

I sighed. "Madi, I know but this is our home. Your home." 

Madi frowned. "And they wanna take it from us."

I nodded solemnly. "That's right." 

Madi argued, "But he doesn't have to suffer. We can kill him now, right?" 

I turned my attention back to the scope, peering through it. "Not yet."

As the man's screams continued, the others finally appeared. They approached their comrade cautiously. They were smart, but I was smarter. No one was going to get in my way. Only one was dumb enough to get close to their impaled friend, and I took the shot with complete accuracy. He fell to the ground, instantly dead. 

The others rolled out of the way, and I lost sight of any targets. I kept looking, until one of the men came back into sight, holding that big-ass foreign gun. I barely had time to gasp before the shock of it hit us. Dust and rock fragments showered around us as we were thrown back. I relinquished my hold on the gun and threw myself over Madi. 

I coughed, and blinked. Everything was muffled, save for a high pitched whining in my ears. I looked through the dust cloud, searching for Clarke to make sure she was alright. Thankfully, she was crawling towards us. 

"Madi, are you okay?" I murmured, barely able to hear my own voice. 

She turned to look up at me, dirt caking her face, fear in her eyes. I helped her to her feet and told her to run. I grabbed her hand, and ran. Clarke followed right behind us. We raced into the woods, not once relenting. The only thing slowing me down was a sharp pain in my side. I grit my teeth and tried to push through it, but I couldn't. 

"We can make it to the north cave!" Madi said, pulling on my hand. "Come on!" 

I stopped, clutching at the wound in my side. I pulled my hand away to find my palm coated black. 

"You're hurt!" Clarke exclaimed. 

I nodded, swallowing back some bile, and taking a deep, rattling breath. I had to make sure they were safe. I motioned for a deep ditch in the ground, surrounded by fallen trees and ferns. "We have to hide you. Come on. You need to get in. Clarke, you too." 

Madi shook her head, her voice shaking. "Not without you!" 

"There is no time to argue about this!" I said, pulling both of them in for a quick hug. "Get in, now. Keep each other safe. I'll lead them away from you. I need you to stay out of sight, no matter what. Promise me." 

Reluctantly, Madi nodded. I handed her a gun, so she wouldn't be totally defenseless if for some reason she and Clarke got separated. I put my hands on Madi's face, and fought against the lump rising in my throat. "I love you. Both of you."

They crouched down into the ditch, and I piled on ferns and branches to shelter them. Behind me, I heard someone shout about noticing some movement. Immediately, I stopped what I was doing and took off through the woods, trying to make myself as obvious as possible. Anything to make sure Madi and Clarke weren't ever discovered. Hopefully, I could keep myself out of their reach as well. But with the wound in my side, I doubted I could get very far. Searing pain shot through my chest, and I groaned, clutching at my side. 

I pushed myself to run faster. Dripping with sweat, encompassed by pain, I raced through the woods. Gunshots rang out behind me. I screamed as pain shot through my leg, and I tumbled to the ground. One of the men grabbed hold of me. I fought back with everything I had, but he was able to subdue me. 

"McCreary, we heard gunfire," a woman's voice crackled through his radio. "Report. I said report, McCreary." 

"Relax, Colonel. I told you we'd get her and we did," McCreary replied, staring down at me with a smug smile on his face. I took a deep breath, tried to crawl away, but exhaustion weighed me down. I couldn't escape. It didn't matter as long as Madi and Clarke were safe. "She's a feisty one. Pretty, too." 

"Good work," the Colonel replied. "Bring her to me. We got a lot to talk about." 

I struggled as they yanked me to my feet. With my sapping strength, I fought them as they dragged me through the woods back to the village. 

"I got one," McCreary crowed, clearly proud of catching me. He threw me to the ground in the center of the village. The place I'd lived in for years, made so many fond memories in. They were desecrating everything. I would not stand for it. But also, I couldn't actually stand. 

"Let me see her," said the woman with cold eyes I'd seen earlier, the one I figured was the leader. 

McCreary crouched down beside my and pulled on my hair, yanking my head upwards. Despite the fear coursing through me, I kept my features stony. 

"You only caught one?" Another man said. He had a kinder face, and seemed like he didn't really belong here. 

"We only saw one," McCreary snapped, shoving my head back into the ground. I spat out some loose dirt. 

"I highly doubt she was alone," said the man called Shaw. 

Diyoza, the leader, stepped towards me and I scrambled backwards on my hands and feet. "How many others are in the woods?" 

I kept my mouth shut, and glared at her with the most stony, heated gaze I could muster. McCreary backhanded me across the face. Pain erupted in my cheek, and I groaned.

"Answer the question," he ordered, the threat of torture lingering behind his words. Fine, if it came to torture so be it. I'd been through it before. I could do it again. Especially to protect my family. He grabbed my hair, raised his fist, and I whimpered, preparing myself for what was to come. 

"Not yet," Diyoza ordered. "First, we pray."

I figured that was code for something. Or maybe they really were praying to a deity. Not that I cared either way. McCreary yanked me to my feet and led me inside the biggest hut, the one where we had family dinners, where I'd helped Madi through a sprained ankle, where Clarke and I acted out stories of our past for her. Now, I was a prisoner in a room I loved so much. 

McCreary forced me into one of the chairs and tied my wrists down on the arms of it. I didn't fight back. I was too tired, too deep in the enemy territory. I knew when to use my brains more than my brawn. I had to think my way out of this. I just glared at the man, hoping he knew I wasn't something he could toy around with. Or I'd give him hell. 

He stood when he was done restraining me. He stared at me for a moment, as if assessing whether it was worth it to irritate me. Then he punched me square in the jaw. I gasped in pain.

Immediately, Shaw came to my rescue holding back his arms. "Stop! We need her!" 

McCreary reeled on Shaw, choking him. Diyoza stepped in separating them. 

"He is not one of us!" McCreary argued. "We lose four men and he doesn't even care."

"He  _is_ one of us," Diyoza replied, her voice stern and cold. "None of us is here without Shaw." 

McCreary scoffed. "None of us is here without me either. You remember that."

He released Shaw, and Diyoza grabbed his collar. "We all have a role to play. And we're all upset about the loss of our men. Take a team and sweep the woods for her friends." 

They stared at each other for a moment, in a perpetual challenge, before McCreary obliged. Clearly, there were a lot of power dynamic issues here. That I could use to my advantage. How, I wasn't sure yet. But I was sure I could make it out of here eventually. 

Diyoza turned, inspecting me. She nodded to the pool of blood beneath the chair staining the rug. My blood. "You see this?" 

Shaw checked it out, sniffed it. "Blood alteration like they had on Eligius III. Two suns, no sunscreen needed." 

Diyoza nodded. "Must be how they survived down here." Into her radio she said, "Bring me a med kit, over."

"On my way," someone responded. 

Diyoza grabbed another chair from the dining table and plopped it down in front of me. My eyes kept straying to the radio, keen on hearing what they were doing. I needed my family to be safe. 

"Harris, I'm en route," McCreary said. "How's the search of sector six?" 

"Finishing up now," Harris replied. 

Diyoza's voice turned my attention away from the radio. "We got off on the wrong foot, you and I. We had no idea there was anyone alive down here. How could we have? We were just trying to get back home. Imagine our surprise when we found out there was no home to get back to and then your people started killing mine. Surely you can understand why I'm upset."

I absolutely could, but I didn't care. I hadn't a clue who these people were. They weren't going to get anything out of me. 

"Just like you were upset when we took your village," Diyoza added. "I don't blame you. When a fascist government tried to take my home, I wanted blood too. And I got it."

Fascist government? Those hadn't been around in a long time, not in a country-applicable sense. Who the hell were these people? 

Harris said on the radio, "We're at the lake now, heading due north."

"No one else has to die today," Diyoza said. "You tell me what I want to know, and we can come up with an arrangement that works for all of us. Sound like a plan?" 

No. I didn't negotiate with terrorists. There was no arrangement that would work except for them getting the hell out of my home. 

Shaw sighed. "Maybe she doesn't speak English."

Diyoza studied me carefully. "She speaks English. She just wants us to think she doesn't so we'll speak freely and reveal something she can use against us."

Well, got me there. That was part of my plan. Gather intel, work an angle. Save Madi and Clarke. 

"Every time patrol checks in, she looks at this," Diyoza explained, grabbing the radio. "She's tracking our movements. That's all she cares about. You don't wanna talk, that's fine. Don't talk. But we'll see how you feel when we find whoever it is you're protecting."

My heart pounded harder in my chest as panic rose. I steeled myself against it, kept my cool exterior. I wouldn't let them know that they could scare me. 

"Change of plans, ladies and gentlemen," Diyoza said into the radio. "No more prisoners. Shoot to kill."

My eyes widened for a second, before I forced myself to relax. I had to have faith that they would be okay. Clarke would watch out for Madi. But I couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to Clarke either. 

Hours passed as I sat in the dining room. They started a fire to shed some light and heat. I used to find the flames enticing. Comforting. A distraction. I supposed they served that purpose still, but I couldn't lose myself in them as I desired to. One slip up, and I could ensure Clarke and Madi's deaths. So I just focused on the two in the room, waiting for them to reveal some sort of information. Anything. 

Shaw approached me, and held up a canteen. He put it to my mouth. Reluctantly, I accepted the water. I wouldn't turn down that which could keep me alive. Even at the risk of poisoning. He seemed like the only one here with a moral compass and a sensible head on his shoulders. But that didn't mean I could trust him. 

He sighed, and crouched down in front of me. "Come on. What harm can come from telling me your name?"

I didn't respond. Just stared at him. 

"Well, believe it or not," Shaw said rising to his feet, "this is the best conversation I've had in over a hundred years."

I furrowed my eyebrows. A hundred years? What was he talking about? 

"I was an altar boy in a church that looked like this," Shaw explained, piquing my interest as much as I hated it. From what I'd gathered, they were from before Alie ended the world the first time. So how had they survived so long? "Saginaw, about two hours outside Detroit. On my Harley, I'd make it in one. God I miss that bike. More than I miss most of the people."

He smiled as he spoke, clearly reliving some of his fondest memories. I wondered what it was like to live on earth in his time. Magical, probably. So incredibly different. 

McCreary's voice broke through the radio. "Someone just ran out of that cave. Harris, Falk, watch your six."

"Copy that. Tight intercept. Fast little thing. We can cut her off at the lake. Go west. Watch out for the blonde one. Lost sight of her."

Terror clawed its way up my throat, caged in my heart. Madi! They were going to kill her. My panic swelled as I realized there was nothing I could do to help her out there. 

Diyoza grabbed the radio and sauntered towards me, clearly aware that she had the upper hand here.

Harris said, "Wait, scratch that, she's turning north. I got a shot." 

I couldn't take it anymore. If I had to give up information to save her I would. "No! She's just a child!"

Diyoza smirked. "She speaks."

"Please!" I cried. Every second that passed was more of a risk that I lost my child. I couldn't let that happen. 

"How many others are in the woods?" Diyoza demanded. 

My voice grew more panicked. "It's just the three of us! I swear. I am begging you. Tell him not to shoot!"

"Fire at will," Diyoza ordered into the radio. 

"Copy," McCreary replied. "She went behind those twin rocks! Falk! Take her on the other side." 

I recognized those landmarks. Madi was such a smart kid. "I know where they are. That's our summer hunting grounds. She's leading them into a trap."

"I see her," Falk said. "Going in. Cover me!" 

I grew more desperate. Tears welled in my eyes against my will. "Listen to me! If they don't stop right now those men will die." 

"I believe her," Shaw offered. 

"It's the truth!" I cried. "If you let her go, if you let both of them go, I'll tell you everything." 

Diyoza mulled over my words for a moment. She brought the radio to her lips. "All units, stand down. Over."

Relief washed over me. I blinked away tears. Thank god. They were going to be okay. 

"If we stand down, they'll get away," McCreary argued. "I'm taking the shot."

"Falk, if McCreary disobeys, shoot him in the leg. Harris, if Falk disobeys, shoot him in the head," Diyoza ordered. 

There was a moment of silence, before McCreary relayed that they were standing down. 

I relaxed. Everything would be fine. 

"Good choice," Diyoza said. "There may be traps near your position. Check it out and report back. Over."

McCreary scoffed. "Son of a bitch. Another bear trap. Almost stepped right in it." 

"Report to base camp," Diyoza ordered. "Over and out."

I sighed, expelling all my anxiety. "Thank you."

"Thank you for telling the truth," Diyoza said. "As long as you keep doing that, your friends in the woods will stay alive and so will you. Do we understand each other?" 

I nodded. "Yes."

Diyoza took her seat in front of me again. "Good. Then let's begin. Start with how the world ended."

I snorted and leaned forward. "Which time?" 

Without interruption, I relayed my entire life story to this hostile stranger. Everything I learned on the Ark, everything I experienced on the ground, all of it I told to her. Part of my felt guilty, like I was betraying my friends for giving up all this information, but I had to keep Madi safe. It was worth the cost of my soul. 

I went into elaborate detail, drawing it out as long as possible. It would keep their minds off of Madi and Clarke.

I explained to them all about Becca and Alie, how they ended the world. "On the Ark they taught us that the war started as a Chinese first strike, but they were wrong. It was started by an A.I. called Alie. Her intention was to reduce the popu-" 

I was cut short by a man on the radio. "Colonel, we have five more hostiles. At least one is armed. Are we still playing nice?"

Both Shaw and Diyoza looked at me, accusatory. But I had no idea what was going on. I'd told them the truth. Clarke, Madi, and I had been the only ones here! I was as shocked as they were. 

Diyoza stood and picked up the radio, telling them to stand by. To few of her soldiers, she ordered, "Find out where they are and reinforce their position. Not you McCreary." Diyoza turned to me, so close I could feel her breath hot against my face as she spoke. "What did I tell you would happen if you lied to me?" 

"I didn't lie!" I protested. "I don't know-"

Diyoza punched me. Blood filled my mouth. 

"Take her outside," she ordered McCreary. "Use the collar."

Well  _that_ was incredibly ominous. Fear twisted my stomach around. Everything was taking a turn for the worse. Judging by the malicious smile on McCreary's face, I was in for a world of torture I wasn't sure I'd be able to withstand. These people were nothing like the Grounders. 

"I thought you'd never ask," McCreary said, clearly delighted. 

Shaw gave me a pitiful look and stood to contest his leader. "Colonel, she's cooperating."

"Which is why she'll live," Diyoza snapped. "Her friends, on the other hand...four of ours are dead. It's time to even the score."

I didn't even have time to process my worry for my friends. McCreary clamped a metal collar around my neck. It was cold to the touch, a temperature that was jarring. He untied my restraints and yanked me to my feet. I elbowed him, struggled to get out of his grip, but he held tight. Outside of the door, he thew me forwards. Unable to catch my balance, I tumbled down the stairs, landing hard on the ground with a grunt. I spit out a glob of blood. 

I groaned, struggled to pry the collar off of me. 

"I wouldn't do that if I was you," McCreary warned. "You might burn your fingers."

Before I knew what was happening, electricity erupted from the collar, shooting across my skin, filling me with pain, making it feel like I was on fire. I screamed in agony, unable to breath. When it stopped, I pitched forwards onto my hands and knees, choking and gasping for breath. 

Panting, I crawled away from them, only for McCreary to grab my jacket and pulled me up to face him. I begged, "Please. I wasn't lying." 

"Hit her again," Diyoza ordered. 

More electricity coursed through me. Tears rained down my face, mingling with sweat and blood. I fell to the ground, whimpering. 

Through strained gasps, I said, "I don't know who that was." 

Again, they turned on the collar. I writhed on the ground, praying for the pain to stop. This was so different from everything else I'd prepared myself for. I didn't think I could handle this without losing most of my dignity. 

When it stopped again, I was too tired to get up. I lay on my side on the ground, coughing up blood. Bright lights flooded the area, accompanied by the familiar roar of the rover's engine. A surge of hope and dismay passed through me. Clarke and Madi would save me. But only endanger themselves. 

I sat up, pushing away the lingering electricity tingling on my skin. "Madi! No!"

I watched as the passenger side door opened, and the silhouette of a figure stepped out. It couldn't possibly have been Madi. So who? 

"Unarmed," he said, holding his hands up. "Just wanna talk."

I'd recognize his voice anywhere. The familiarity of it send rejoicing through my veins. Despite everything I smiled. Tears rolled down my face even heavier now. Because it was Bellamy. Bellamy was here. He was alive. He was standing in front of me. I could hardly believe I wasn't hallucinating. 

Diyoza scoffed. "Talk? Give me one good reason not to kill you where you stand."

My smile fell. I'd just gotten Bellamy back. I couldn't lose him again! I hadn't even had the chance to talk to him, to touch him, to hold him. 

"How about I give you two hundred and eighty three?" Bellamy offered. "That's how many of your people are going to die if you and I can't make a deal." 

He held up a mug in one of his hands. It must have come from their ship. Proof. Bellamy closed his other fist, and the rover back away, out of sight. Madi would be safe. He stepped into the clearing, closer to me. I desperately wanted to leap to my feet, run into his arms. But I couldn't. 

"That's far enough," Diyoza said after he'd taken a few steps. "Two hundred and eighty three lives for one. She must be pretty important to you."

Bellamy stared down at me. His features softened, filled with a loving wonder, as if he couldn't quite believe he was seeing me either. That moment that we stared into each others eyes seemed to last forever. I wanted it to last forever. "She is." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy's down on the ground!! Yay! Hope y'all are enjoying so far! I'm really into it. I think this might be my favorite season though IDK why. More to come!


	3. Pandora's Box

I lay on my side, grateful for the lack of an electrifying collar around my neck. But I couldn't shake the worry gnawing at my core. Bellamy was here. He was out there, negotiating with psychopaths. And I couldn't do anything to help him from my cell inside the prison ship. I tried everything to escape, but there was nothing I could use to force the door open. It was useless. So I gave up and lay down, hoping he could handle himself. 

While I waited, I spun my ring around my finger. It truly was an everlasting symbol of hope. I never stopped believing he'd come back. And now that he has, it felt like I was whole again, like he took part of me with him when he went up in that rocket six years ago. Maybe he did. 

A buzzer sounded in the room, and the door clicked open. I turned over to see Bellamy standing in the doorway. I narrowed my eyes, still not convinced I wasn't hallucinating. But when he rushed into the room and gently helped me sit up, I knew it was real. He was here. Emotion overwhelmed me. Tears welled in my eyes. I put my hand on his face, running my thumb over his cheek. Bellamy had grown some scruff, and his hair was thicker, wilder than it had ever been. He looked so much older. But then, so did I. Peace had settled in on us. 

I looked into his eyes, flickered my gaze to his lips, asking for permission. In silent response, he leaned forward, and pressed his lips to mine for the first time in ages. It lit me from my core, tingled through my veins, warmed my heart. It was just as magical as the very first time we ever kissed. I didn't want it to end. But as all things must, I threw my arms around him, hugging him tight, burying my face in the crook of his neck. 

Bellamy wrapped his arms around me, holding me close to him. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I could be weak. I'd spent six years protecting Madi and Clarke. Worrying about everyone above and below us. Now, I could just break down in the arms of the man I loved. 

"You're really here," I murmured, blinking away tears. When we pulled away, I asked him the other burning question on my mind. "Madi?" 

Bellamy smiled softly. "She's safe. She's in the woods with the others. Diyoza won't look for them as long as we're in control. 

I sighed in relief, letting more of my tears fall. "You're all still alive? Murphy, Monty, Raven?" 

Bellamy smiled. "Echo and Emori. Yeah. Y/N, you saved us all."

"And now you're home." I kissed him again, over and over, pausing only to take breaths. Even then, I was laughing, crying. Overwhelmed in the best way possible. He ran his hands through my hair, comforting me. After another long, passionate kiss, I pressed my forehead to his and closed my eyes. "I missed you so much, Bel. So much it hurt." 

Bellamy brushed away a few tears of his own. "I thought I lost you, firecracker." 

I smiled. "What have I told you? You'll never lose me. I love you." 

"I love you too," Bellamy replied, his voice a whisper, a proclamation meant just for me. 

I pulled him in for another hug as the euphoria of seeing him for the first time in forever faded. Questions swirled around in my mind. "Wait, why'd she release me?" 

Bellamy explained. "We made a deal. She agreed to open the bunker." 

My smile widened. I'd get to see my dad again. He could meet Madi. Oh, he'd love her. I couldn't wait. 

Interlocking Bellamy's fingers with mine, we strolled out of the ship and sat down at the base of it. Bellamy had one of their radios with which he used to contact Raven in space. 

"Raven, can you hear me? Come in." 

Raven's voice crackled through the radio. "Tell me everyone's okay."

"Everyone's okay," Bellamy assured her. "We reached a deal with the people from that ship. And by the way, the laser-comm's an open line so they can hear every word we say."

"Nice to meet you," Murphy's voice came through, prompting a smile on my part. I missed his wise-cracking jokes and dry sarcasm to challenge my own. "We're not bad people we-"

Bellamy rolled his eyes. "Raven, keep him away from the radio."

"Copy that," she replied.

"Anyway," Bellamy continued, "they know the rules, but just to be safe, Colonel Diyoza here they are again. If anyone tries to get around your security, you pull the plug. If anyone does anything that wasn't agreed upon, you pull the plug. And if you don't hear from me every hour on the hour, you pull the plug." 

"Is that all?" Raven asked in that oh so familiar joking but not really joking tone. 

Bellamy looked at me, and my smile grew. "No that's not all. Someone wants to say hello."

He handed me the radio, and I took hold of it. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. I was so excited to talk to my friends again. Nothing could have made me happier than being reunited with all of them. "Raven, Murphy, it's really damn good to hear your voices."

"Y/N?" Raven murmured, her voice laced with shock. "I don't believe it."

"And they call me the cockroach," Murphy joked. 

I smiled wide, and laughed. "Hey you guys just be careful up there, okay? We'll talk more once all of this is over. I want to hear everything."

"Okay, but first," Raven said happily, "thank you for saving our lives."

I chuckled. "I miss you both." 

Bellamy put a gentle hand on my shoulder. "We gotta go."

I nodded and handed him the radio back. I got to talk to them for a little while. That was all that mattered. 

"Raven, stay safe. We'll talk soon," Bellamy said.

She replied, "Yeah, every hour on the hour."

He tucked the radio away. I linked my arm through his, giddy to be able to be near him again. Part of me still wondered if I was dreaming all of this. For better and worse, I wasn't. 

* * *

I took a deep breath. Today, in just a few minutes, I would get to see my father again. I hooked up Bellamy to a cable and harness, and he did the same for me, his fingers gently running down my shoulders, down my side. I tried to hide my giggles, the way my body tingled at his light touch. I could resolve that later, when all of this was settled. 

With the help of Diyoza's manpower and a very sturdy cinch, we were able to break through the several tons of concrete straight through the roof of the bunker. I smiled at Bellamy once the dust settled and encouraged him to go first. Slowly, he lowered himself down into the bunker. I waited a few moments, gave him a chance to reunite with his sister, and then followed. I was so close to seeing Dad again. And the others we'd left in the bunker. Octavia, Nate, Indra. We'd get all our people back. 

When I touched down on the floor of the dim bunker, I found Octavia and Bellamy locked in a tight embrace. I looked around the rotunda, found it fenced in. People stared at me from behind the fence, their fingers locked around the links, surprise melting away an undeniable lust for violence. I'd seen it before. I'd felt it. So why did they? What went on down here? 

Octavia released her brother, and turned to me, assessing me. Like with everyone else, she looked at me as if she couldn't quite believe I was standing before her. Understandably so. I held out my arm, and she gripped it tight, as I gripped hers. I gave her a smile, happy to see her again. I searched the crowd for my father, but couldn't find him. 

After a few minutes, Diyoza and McCreary lowered down into the bunker. I kept my distance. I wasn't going to let them anywhere near me, not after that whole electrifying business. I didn't think I could trust these people to live beside us peacefully, but I had to believe it would work out like that. I wasn't ready for another war after years of peace. 

"Who are they?" Octavia asked, eyeing them suspiciously. 

Diyoza turned to her. "We're here to rescue you." 

Octavia narrowed her eyes, gaze straying to their guns. "Why are you armed?" 

Bellamy put a hand on her shoulder. "O, O it's okay. We have an understanding." 

I cleared my throat. "Uh, before we get to that, where's my dad?" 

Octavia's eyes widened, as if she'd forgotten whose child I was. She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could Indra stepped in. "You can see your father when everyone is topside." 

I pursed my lips. Something felt off. "Alright." 

"So I take it you're his sister," Diyoza remarked. 

Bellamy nodded. "Yes. Sorry. Octavia, this is Colonel Diyoza." 

Octavia raised an eyebrow. "Colonel?"

Diyoza shrugged. "Used to be. Love the war paint by the way." 

I glanced at Octavia who didn't seem to be taking well to the criminals. Not that I blamed her at all. I didn't like them either. But I also didn't like the blood covering her forehead and the sinister look in her eyes. 

"Okay," I said, cutting the tense silence. "So how do we do this?" 

"Two at a time," Diyoza replied. "Why don't you people get your things and we'll get started as soon as we're ready topside?" 

No one moved. Not until Octavia gave a slight nod of her head. So she was their leader. A powerful one at that. Diyoza seemed to take notice of that too. 

"Exactly how many people should we be prepping for extraction?" McCreary asked. 

"Twelve hundred," Bellamy explained. 

"Eight hundred and fourteen," Octavia corrected. 

I furrowed my eyebrows. They'd lost almost four hundred people down here? How? Why? I was beginning to think their time in the bunker was nowhere near as peaceful as my time topside. I hoped everyone was okay. 

Octavia was one of the first to go up. As she rose towards the sky, Gaia began a chant. 

_Kom falau oso na gyon op._

_From the ashes we rise._

An accurate motto. Not literally I hoped. Ashes weren't anywhere on my agenda for the rest of my life. Bellamy and I went up together after her, and then we stood, helping others up. When Nate Miller rose to the ground, he seemed shocked to see me extending a hand to him. I pulled him up, and then he enveloped me in a tight hug. 

"Thank you," he said. 

I beamed and pulled away, just taking in his presence. "It's good to see you." 

Then my gaze traveled over his attire. He was dressed like a Grounder, knives and all. I never would have guessed.

"The deal was no weapons," Bellamy said to Octavia. 

She replied gruffly, "Not my deal."

Bellamy put his hands on his hips and sighed. "I need to talk to you in private. Give me a second, and then follow me." 

He gave me a smile, and then walked away to talk with his sister. I stood at the top of the hole waiting anxiously for my father to come up. As soon as Octavia was gone, Indra radioed to bring him up. My smile grew as I saw his figure rise. His hair was longer and grayer, face aged. When the sunlight touched his skin, he smiled. 

When he was unhooked from the cable, I enveloped him in a hug. Chains dug into my stomach as he tried to hug me back. Why was he handcuffed? Right now, it didn't matter. I was with my dad. Tears welled in my eyes again, and I let them roll down my face. 

Indra approached my father, grabbing his chains. "Wait for night. If you get caught, I won't be able to help you." 

In the palm of my father's hand was a key. I furrowed my eyebrows. At least Indra was looking out for him. Considering Octavia was in charge of everyone, I assumed she was the one who locked up Dad. Whatever happened down there was her business. If she did anything else to him up top, then I'd have a lot more qualms. 

"Dad, you'll never guess what I've been up to for the last six years," I said, ignoring the chains. "I have a daughter now. Her name's Madi. I can't wait for you to meet her. She's the most amazing kid I've ever met. And I'm a nightblood now! Clarke and I spent so much time together, it's crazy. We trekked across the desert, caught in bear traps. We had real peace for a while. But I'm incredibly happy that you're up now. I missed you so much."

Dad smiled, and ruffled my hair. "I missed you too. I'm glad you've lead such a good life. I'll bet you're an amazing mother." 

I shrugged. "Well, I certainly think so."

We laughed, and talked, trying to ignore the elephant in the room, about his imprisonment, all the way through the night. Eventually, I ended the conversation, and he wandered off to be with Abby, while I headed for Bellamy. I leaned on him as I stretched my palms outward towards the burning barrel fire. From his silence and tension, I guessed his conversation with Octavia did not go well. I kissed him on the cheek and left him to his thoughts. 

I met up with Clarke, Abby, and Dad to find a place to get him free. Under the cloak of night, away from the fires, no one could see us. "Okay, we're safe here. Let's get those cuffs off."

"If you're right and that valley's the only survivable place, where will Abby and I go?" Dad asked, as Abby unlocked his handcuffs. 

I offered, "I'll talk to Octavia, see if I can reason with her." 

Abby shook her head. "You won't be able to." 

I shrugged. "Regardless, that's tomorrow's problem. Today we have to keep you out of sight until everyone is safely - "

An explosion cut me off. I looked around, searching for the source of the sound. 

"What the hell was that?" Abby muttered. 

I exchanged a worried glance with Clarke. "I know exactly what that was. Stay here." 

Clarke and I raced out to the middle of the fallen remains of Polis, where Diyoza's soldiers had destroyed the fountain with their terrifying strange guns. 

"Sorry about your pretty fountain, but that was only half the power," Diyoza said, her voice booming across the area. "I know most of you are armed. If anyone moves for a weapon, you'll see what full power does to human flesh. It's not pretty." 

"Hey!" Bellamy shouted, joining up with me and Clarke as we marched towards Diyoza. "Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing? One call from me - " 

"Make your call," Diyoza challenged. 

Bellamy glared at her and pulled out his radio. "Raven, come in. Read me?" 

Silence. Bellamy's confidence clearly began to waver. My stomach dropped. What happened up there? 

Diyoza smirked. "Deal's off. But nobody has to get hurt. Where's your mother?" 

Clarke glared at her in silence. 

Octavia stepped forward, shaking her head. "She's our doctor. You can't have her."

McCreary stepped forward, turning his weapon and aiming it at her. Instinctively, I pushed her behind me. "She asked you a question. Where is the doctor?" 

No one responded. One of Diyoza's men shouted how we weren't so tough anymore, and swung his cannon gun around. Octavia's people stepped forward as if to attack, but she raised her arms to stop them. 

"I'm right here!" Abby's voice echoed across the area. She and my father walked through the crowd with their hands held up. My eyes widened. What were they doing? "Don't shoot. We'll come without a fight."

Octavia growled, "I bet you will, traitor."

I glared at her. No one could talk to my father like that. 

"We?" Diyoza implored. 

Abby nodded. "The two of us. Those are my terms."

Diyoza mulled over her request. "Take them both."

Panic swelled in my chest. "Dad, what are you doing?" 

"I love you, Y/N," he said, as they pulled him and Abby away. Clarke was just as upset as I was. 

Diyoza cleared her throat. "Okay then! Here are my terms. They valley is ours. Any attempt to get there will be met by overwhelming force. As long as you stay here, we won't have a problem. Is that a problem?"

I took a step back in shock. But...that was my home. Madi's home. They couldn't take it from us! I wouldn't stand for it. None of us would. 

Bellamy stepped forwards. "What about Raven and Murphy?"

"For now, insurance," Diyoza replied. "Let's go. On me!" 

All but one of them obeyed. Octavia seemed to be silently challenging him, enough to get under his skin. With a scream, he turned the cannon gun on her, and fired. Someone else jumped in front of her, and exploded into nothing but a few splatters of blood. Octavia fell to the ground, wincing and whimpering. I gasped. Holy hell. That was horrifying. 

"Sybunka, you idiot!" Diyoza shouted. "Get to the ship! Move! Now!"

They all piled into their ship and took off towards the valley. Oh, we were now at war. Even I was ready for it. That familiar adrenaline rush from years ago when all I did was fight flooded back. I gripped tight to Bellamy's hand to calm myself. 

Octavia limped towards us, Indra supporting her. She glared at Bellamy. "I trusted you. This is your fault!"

"Blodreina!" Miller called. "What do we do now?" 

She growled, "Now, we go to war."

I exchanged concerned glances with Bellamy and Clarke. War was never a good solution, but it was even worse with Octavia leading the charge. That brief rush of adrenaline faded away, and all I could think about was Madi. War was no place for her. For any of us. 

Part of me wondered if we released something dangerous when we opened that bunker. And there was no way to undo it. Ever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't like this chapter. IDK. Hopefully you guys enjoyed it though! More to come!


	4. Shifting Sands

Tension hung thick in the air. I stood on the outskirts of the clearing watching people coughing, groaning in pain. Others were shifting rubble. I didn't know what to think, what to do. The promise of war wasn't going to be broken. And I feared Madi would be caught in the middle. Or Bellamy, for that matter. Octavia was wrathful. He would want to talk sense into her, try and reason against this. I knew he thought he could sway her because he was her brother, but I had a feeling it didn't matter. Octavia had always been a warrior. And now, she was the Red Queen. That did not bode well. 

Clarke came racing out from one of the alleys where she'd been tending to the wounded with Jackson. Immediately, my protective instinct kicked in at her clear distress. I jumped in front of Miller who she'd been calling after. Not a second later, Bellamy joined me. 

"Hey, where are you going?" Bellamy asked. 

Miller pursed his lips. "I wish I could tell you that, Bellamy." 

"Octavia told you not to?" He asked. 

Miller's silence confirmed that. But I knew. There was only one place they could possibly be going. 

"They're going to Shallow Valley," I said, glaring at him. Without another word, I stormed past him. 

Miller turned around, calling after me, "Y/N! Y/N!" 

He grabbed my elbow and spun me around. I narrowed my eyes at him and yanked my arm away. "You can't just do whatever the hell you want here." 

"I'm guessing you're moving ahead of the army, to scout. Forward terrain," I said, knowing I was right. "Which route are you taking? It's sandstorm season. The wind moves in a predictable path. I've made the trip dozens of times. Trust me, you need my help." 

I stared down Miller, waiting for him to respond. Finally, after an interminable moment, he nodded, and led me and Bellamy into one of the still standing structures of Polis. I could hear muffled voices inside, probably all planning. And nothing good. 

"What are you thinking?" Indra said, just as I stepped inside. 

I piped up, "My question exactly." 

Cooper, an Arkadian who had gone full Grounder, glared at Miller. "Your orders were to go - " 

"I know my orders," Miller snapped. "I think we should listen to what Y/N has to say." 

Octavia turned around, eyebrows raised, as if challenging me to contradict her. 

"You can't take the sea route," I warned. 

"Why?" Indra asked. "I thought you said the sea was gone? Is it passable or not?" 

I clasped my hands together. "Yes, maybe. But you have to understand -  "

"Maybe's good enough for me," Octavia grunted, shoving past me. "Let's move out."

Frustration swelled in my chest, but I forced it away. Keeping my cool was the best way to deal with her, a ticking time bomb.  Bellamy jumped in front of the door, blocking her way out. Her guards drew guns on him. Again, my protective instincts went on high alert. Sure, Octavia was his sister. But I would take her down before I let anything happen to Bellamy. I'd spent six years apart from him. I didn't want another second away from him. 

"Stand down," Octavia ordered. Her guards put their weapons down, but I didn't dare relax. 

"Please, O," Bellamy asked, his voice soft, nearing supplication, "Just hear us out." 

I turned to her. "Octavia, we're all on the same team. No one wants to get to that valley more than me. It's my home. But this is way too risky." 

"Risky how?" Indra inquired. 

"Show me," Octavia commanded. 

I stepped around the table to the map laid out on it. I traced the lines they'd marked. "You chose the shortest route, which makes sense, but the dry seabed is hit by almost constant sandstorms. 

Octavia shrugged. "We have the tents from the second dawn. Sand won't be a problem."

I shook my head. "It's not just sand. Some of it crystallized in Praimfaya. I'm talking shards of glass like razor blades. Your tents will be torn to shreds and so will you."

"Blodreina is right," Cooper argued. "Besides, we can only carry rations for seven days. The sea route will take six. The next shortest path adds fifty miles. That's two days if we're lucky." 

"How do we know there won't be sandstorms on the longer routes?" Indra asked. It seemed she was the only one of Octavia's advisers that actually had some reason. 

"Enough! We're doing this! The hydrofarm is barely feeding us now, so if this is the last living valley on earth, then it should be ours!" Octavia shouted. 

Bellamy murmured, "Diyoza thinks the same thing." 

"And so we fight," Octavia said, her voice sharp and cold, filled with bloodlust. Something told me that even if Diyoza wasn't here, she'd still be looking for someone to fight. With that, she left the room, her guards in tow. 

I sighed, and gripped the edges of the table, trying not to scream in frustration. If we went about this the wrong way, I would lose everything. We all would. 

"Your sister needs you, Bellamy," Indra said. "I'm glad you're here for her. There are packs with rations here by the door." 

Now it was just me and Bellamy left in the room. 

"Am I crazy, or were they gonna kill me for getting in her way?" Bellamy asked, his voice taut with worry, confusion. 

I took his hands in mine, trying to comfort him. It was true. She was much more powerful than any of us. "What do we do?" 

Bellamy sighed. "Raven and Murphy are in trouble. I have to go with them. Six day hike through sandstorm country, gladiator cults. What could go wrong?" 

He picked up a ration bag for himself and then handed me another, with a gentle smile. I smiled back, slinging the pack over my shoulder. "After you." 

I followed him out of the building and we joined up with Octavia's legions. I didn't love the concept of it, but I could better control what Octavia did if I marched with her. And so I did. We walked until night fell and finally we got some rest. We built a fire to keep us warm in the cold desert night, and sat around it. Bellamy and I took a spot a little farther away from the group. Despite the relationships we'd had with people from the bunker before the death wave, we were outsiders now. Our families were in the valley, in danger. 

But we had each other.

"We honor those who died so that we might live," Octavia said, her eyes closed. "Omon gon oson."

All of me, for all of us. 

In turn everyone ate their rations. They were all so connected, built on a foundation of loyalty and respect. Fear too, I believed. I wondered what happened down there all those years to turn everyone, to turn Wonkru, into...this. 

"All of me, for all of us," I repeated, taking a bite of my own ration. It was nothing near the delicacies Clarke and I had been making for the past few years in the valley. "It's kind of beautiful." 

Bellamy snorted. "How so?" 

I turned to him. "They lost four hundred people. It's a third of everyone in that bunker. And they had no idea if they'd ever get out. Yet look at them. Strong. Unified. I can see why my dad was terrified. But you gotta admit. It's impressive."

There was a pause of silence. Then Bellamy replied, "So is surviving alone. How'd you do it?"

I took his hand, running my thumb over his knuckles. "Well I wasn't ever really alone. I had Clarke. And then we had Madi." 

Bellamy smiled at me, genuine love twinkling in his soft, dark eyes. I smiled back, trying to enjoy the moment. But I worried about Madi. I knew she could take care of herself. That never stopped a mother from worrying. 

I sighed. "I'm tired. You can have the rest of my rations. Omon gon oson."

I handed him my rations, and gave him a kiss on the forehead. Bellamy tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, staring at me for a long moment, as if he was memorizing me. I too, needed to replace the image I'd had in my mind of him. Our souls were the same, even if our appearances were changed. 

"Let me know if you need anything," Bellamy said. "I'll be there." 

I laughed softly. "I know." 

Before I could even lay down in the sand to attempt sleep, one of the scouts came running back into the encampment screaming for help. 

I turned to see Miller running, out of breath with another who was carrying someone. "We need a medic! It's Obika!" 

I found myself wishing Clarke had come along now. She'd taught me a few things, but I was nowhere near as good a doctor as she was. Even so, I was the best anyone had here. I grabbed a med kit from one of the tents and raced back out to the clearing where one of the scouts was on the ground, screaming and convulsing. 

"Out of my way!" I called. "I can help!" 

Some of them shot me strange looks, like they were asking how I could be of service. True, when they knew me I was just a good hunter trying to lead. Now I was so much more than that. I was not going to let anyone tell me otherwise. 

Cooper stopped me just before I could get to the man in pain. "Not you." 

I huffed, and looked to Octavia across the circle. "Octavia." 

"Let her in!" 

I shoved past Cooper and knelt down beside the scout, who had ceased convulsing. Now, he was still. I checked for a pulse, relieved to find one. "He's alive, but his heart is racing."

"What the hell happened out there?" Octavia barked. 

Miller explained, "We separated to cover more ground. Then I hear him screaming out that they're everywhere. Then I get to him and there's nothing. It's just more screaming."

As he spoke, I inspected Obika's body, looking for any sign of wounds. I pulled up his shirt, looking over his torso, and then beneath the skin something moved. I gasped, and jumped away in surprise. 

"There's something inside him," I said, heart pounding. What the hell kind of creature lived inside of people? 

We dragged him inside one of the tents and lay him down on the table. I pulled his jacket off, exposing his bare chest and the creatures wriggling inside of it. I feared it would kill him. 

Indra leaned forward. "Y/N, what is this?" 

"I don't know!" I shouted, under a lot of pressure. God I wish Clarke was here. "Miller tell us exactly what happened." 

Miller shook his head. "Nothing happened. We stopped to eat. Then we separated again. Next thing I knew, he was screaming." 

A thought crossed my mind. "Your rations. Show me." 

"Nothing's wrong with our rations!" Cooper protested. 

"He was eating when it happened," I argued. 

Octavia said, "Cooper's right. If it was the rations, Miller would have it too."

* * *

"They share everything!" I exclaimed, pulling at my hair, not sure what to do. The tent had mostly cleared by now as I paced, trying to find a solution. 

Bellamy put a hand on my shoulder to comfort me. "Well it got in him somehow. Wait..." 

He touched the man's leg and it came away red. He was bleeding. Bellamy tore away the pants around the wound, to reveal a small hole in his skin. 

I inspected the wound, realizing something horrible. "It came from the sand. We have to go back!" 

"What?" Octavia scoffed. "No."

"Octavia," I reasoned. "He told Miller that they were everywhere." 

"Yes, but Miller said he saw nothing."

"Everywhere could mean everywhere inside him," Cooper countered. "I agree with Blodreina."

"What a surprise," Indra sneered. 

I raised an eyebrow. Clearly there was some bad blood there. 

Octavia stepped away from the table. "We march on at first light." 

"And Obika?" Miller asked. 

Octavia glanced at him. "If he's not better by then, I'll end his pain myself."

I swallowed nervously and looked to Bellamy for help. But he couldn't do anything about it. I was the only one in this camp with enough medical knowledge to save this man from whatever terrible fate befell him. If only my mother could see me now. I wondered what she would say. 

It was just the two of us left, as I pondered what to do. I had to go about this very carefully or I'd end up killing him. Bellamy seemed just as worried as I was, but I knew it wasn't about Obika. 

"Octavia's not the only one who's changed you know," I said, glancing over at him. "You could've killed those prisoners in cryo, but you didn't. Diyoza would've killed me if not for you. You got that bunker open." 

Bellamy turned to me, his eyes sorrowful. "Who knew it would turn out to be Pandora's box?" 

I sighed, dipping a rag in alcohol. "I'm serious, Bel. The heart and the head." 

He smiled softly. "The heart and the head."

"So, what does your head say about two armies fighting a war in the only green place on earth?" I asked. 

Bellamy sighed. "Same as yours."

_Komba som laik raun!_

Something's coming! 

"What the hell?" Bellamy exclaimed. We exchanged a concerned glance and rushed out of the tent. 

In the distance, a thick yellow cloud roiling with flashes of lighting was steadily approaching us. 

"Sandstorm," I murmured under my breath. Shit! I knew this was a bad idea. 

"It's blocking the way back," Bellamy noted. 

"Can we outrun it?" Indra asked. 

I shook my head. "As long as it keeps moving laterally from east to west, we shouldn't have to. But if the wind shifts..." 

"The wind hasn't met Wonkru," Octavia said. As if she could fight off a storm. "No there's no choice. We keep moving." 

"Keep moving?" Bellamy scoffed. "Thanks to you, we're stuck between razor-blade winds and burrowing parasitic bugs." 

"Thanks to you, we're at war, Bellamy," Octavia snapped. 

"Only if you insist on fighting it."

Octavia stared him down. "Fight or die. That's all there is. You don't understand. I get it. Because you're not one of us." 

Bellamy's face fell. I knew how much it hurt him to see his sister like this. I knew she was far gone. Changed from that friend I'd loved six years ago. Now I feared she'd be okay with striking any of us down. "Is Obika one of you? Because you're about to end his life like he means nothing. I understand that."

Cooper surged forwards, clearly intent on fighting him, but Octavia stopped her. 

"Show some respect!" Someone shouted from the crowd. 

I stepped closer to Bellamy, ready to protect him should it come to that. 

Octavia cocked her head. "I'd stop if I were you." 

Tense silence fell. I almost welcomed Obika's screaming. I raced into the tent, to find him convulsing again, screaming in agony. 

"Hold him down!" I ordered.

Bellamy and Cooper obeyed, keeping him from thrashing around. His abdomen was pulsating, like it was about to explode. I watched, horrified, as his skin rose in a bubble and then burst. Blood splattered. Everyone ducked away from the table as worms shrieked out of his body. 

Bellamy threw himself over me. "Everybody out! Now! Go!" 

He took my hand and pulled me out of the tent. Indra already had a torch in hand, ready to burn the worms down. She threw it inside, and zipped the tent shut. Within moments, the entire thing was up in flames. 

Octavia was on the ground, groaning in pain, staring at her arm. Bellamy and I raced to her side. Gently, I held her arm, and watched as the skin bulged. Something was crawling inside her. One of the worms got to her. 

We picked her up and carried her back into a different tent. She complained about being unable to feel her legs, a cause undoubtedly because of the worm's venom. I sat her down, and laid her arm on the table. 

"Okay, we can't let it get into her torso," I said, frantically trying to contain the worm in her arm. "I need you to make a tourniquet out of whatever you can find. And get me a med kit!" 

Cooper murmured, "There were dozens of those worms. They must lay their eggs..."

"Thank you!" I exploded, fed up. Theoretically, I knew how the worms worked. Now was not the time for a lesson. "Go!" 

Bellamy crouched in front of Octavia, reassuring her that he was there for her, while I wrapped a rope around her upper arm as tight as I could before it was too dangerous. 

"Will that stop it?" Bellamy asked. 

I shook my head. "It's not for the worm. It's for the blood. I need a knife, now!" 

Indra handed me one, and I gripped it tight in my hand. Even if it was to save her, something felt wrong about cutting her while she was awake. 

"What are you waiting for?" Octavia grunted through gritted teeth. 

Firmly, I planted my free hand on her shoulder. "Okay, you gotta stay still. This is gonna hurt."

Without anymore warning, I pressed the tip of the knife into her arm, just below the tourniquet. Blood erupted as I cut deeper. Ignoring Octavia's screams, I reached my fingers inside her wound, searching around for the wound. 

"Y/N," Bellamy warned, "Y/N, you're gonna lose it!" 

I scrunched my nose, pressing further. "Like hell I am."

Finally, I felt the slimy exterior of the worm between my fingers. I latched on with a grip of steel. "I got it! Stay still!" 

"Y/N, just pull it out," Octavia said, panting. 

In the midst of the chaos, Monty's voice crackled through Bellamy's radio. I could barely hear it. "Please, if you can hear me it's an emergency!" 

I tried to push his distress out of my mind. One problem at a time. "I got this. Take it."

Bellamy pulled out his radio. "Monty it's me! Something tells me we got your emergency beat." 

"I doubt that," he replied. "The prisoners have an eye in the sky on the mothership and a missile system on their transport ship." 

I stopped in shock, mid-extraction. "Missiles?" 

"They're on their way right now," Monty continued. "You have to move! Hide somewhere! Take cover!" 

"Hide from an eye in the sky?" Bellamy asked in disbelief. "How are we supposed to do that?"

"Murphy says we have a friend on the inside," Monty explained. "If he's right, the eye won't be watching. You have a window, but you have to move now." 

I pulled on the worm, fighting it as it tried to writhe deeper into Octavia's arm. With one last grunt, I pulled the entire thing out. I handed it to Cooper who put it in a jar. I turned my attention to dressing the entry wound. 

"Where do we find cover from missiles in the middle of a wasteland?" Bellamy asked. 

I suggested, "If they see us retreat, they'll stand down."

"You still don't understand," Octavia growled. "Wonkru does not retreat."

Bellamy put his hand on hers. "You do if you want to live."

"Now is not the time for a debate!" Indra interrupted. "Even if we did retreat, the path home is puts us in the middle of a sandstorm."

"Those ruins are not our home!" Octavia shouted, shifting so it made it harder for me to stay the blood flow. I tried not to get too frustrated. "That valley is and we're taking it back."

"Octavia, easy," I warned, tying the bandage around her wound. "The venom's still in your system."

Octavia ignored me, her focus on Bellamy. "Get ready to understand." 

I didn't like the sound of that. But we had no choice but to follow her command. Everyone in the camp headed directly into the sandstorm, where we wouldn't be able to be seen from the sky. They all locked arms in a circle shielding Octavia and I, who was tending to her, from the razor-blades. I looked up at Bellamy every now and then as the wild wind whipped around us. I knew he was in pain, and there was nothing I could do to help him, not now. I had to wait. 

Waiting was the worst. I'd done enough of it. 

We stayed like that all night. When the storm finally let up, it was nearly midday. Several people had been cut to death by the raging, dangerous winds. Indra was badly injured. While that sucked, I was thankful it wasn't Bellamy. 

I knelt beside her, gingerly touching her skin, checking for an erratic heart-beat. While there wasn't one, her rattling breaths weren't a good sign. 

"What's wrong with her?" Octavia asked, a hint of real concern in her voice. At least there was still someone that could access her emotions. "Is it a worm?"

"I don't think so. I think there's glass in her lungs," I said. "We gotta get her back to Polis."

Miller approached, relaying information of how many had perished. Eleven in total. Twelve, with Obika. 

"Take their weapons and their armor," Octavia ordered. "Leave the bodies."

Cooper furrowed her eyebrows. "Leave them?" 

"There's no time!" Octavia protested. "The enemy can see us. Sound the retreat."

As Cooper moved to do just that, I approached Octavia, checking up on her arm. She winced as I inspected the wound. 

I exhaled, relieved that I'd done a well enough job at saving her. Clarke would be proud of me. "Damage to the muscle should be minimal but we'll know more in a few days."

Octavia looked at me, with a genuine respect in her eyes. "Thank you for saving my life." 

I nodded, smiling softly.

"You saved ours," Bellamy said, approaching from the side. "You were right. Wonkru is strong. Just like their leader."

Octavia slowly sat up, getting inches away from his face. "I'm glad you're alive big brother. But if you ever speak out against Wonkru again, then you are an enemy of Wonkru. And you are my enemy."

She shot a glance my way, as if that was a warning for me too. I swallowed, trying to process that. Octavia had strong resolve. Power. Skill. I wasn't sure I could beat that. Not since her fighting skills overpowered my own. Certainly not with reason. I feared that she would be a tyrant, if she was to lead us when we won back our home. 

A familiar sound in the distance pulled me away from my melodramatic thoughts. I turned over my shoulder to see the rover approaching. They stopped just outside the encampment. Slowly, I stood, worried it wouldn't be who I thought it was. But then the door opened, and a familiar face with long brown locks jumped out of the drivers seat. 

Madi ran across the sand, and I did the same, a smile growing on my face. We met in the middle. I enveloped her in a hug, lifting her off her feet. I was overjoyed to see her again, to know that she was okay, that she was safe. I embraced her tight, kissing her on top of her head. All the perils of the world that had arrived made me fear for her life. I wished I could do more to protect her. But all that mattered was she was in my arms, safe, and smiling. 

I never wanted to let her go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello?? Bob and Eliza are MARRIED?? Can't say I'm surprised that's so cute. Anywho, hope y'all are enjoying! Stay tuned!


	5. Exit Wounds

I snipped off the last of the string to finish off restitching of Octavia's wound. Madi watched, transfixed. Happy as I was to see her again, the thought of Octavia finding out she was a true nightblood made me nervous. 

"Gross!" Madi exclaimed, an intrigued smile on her face. 

I rolled my eyes. "Madi." I turned to Octavia. "The infection's passed, but this is gonna hurt. Are you sure you don't want Jackson? Or Clarke?" 

Octavia shook her head. "They're tending to the others in medbay. Just do it."

I doused a cloth in alcohol and pressed it onto her stitched up wound. She exhaled, barely flinching at the pain. In the corner of my eye, I saw Madi try to suppress an admiring smile. 

I smiled myself. "Madi's a big fan. She's heard every story about the girl under the floor who saved the human race."

Octavia looked over at her. "Now what's your story? You survived six years of radiation? What's your secret?" 

I jumped in before Madi could reply, keeping my cool despite the rising panic in my chest. "Synthetic nightblood like me and Clarke. I took her to Becca's lab and shared my bone marrow to keep her alive."

Octavia grunted. "You're lucky Y/N found you."

The door to the room opened and Cooper stepped in. "Ready to move?"

"She needs another day's rest," I suggested, nearly done dressing the wound.

Cooper argued, "She needs to be with her people."

Octavia seemed to agree. "I'm done licking my wounds. Let's go remind the others what we promised them."

She stood. After slipping her jacket and sword on, she turned to Madi. Assessing her. She held out her hand. " _Kom falau oso na gyon op._ From the ashes we will rise."

Madi and Octavia clasped hands for a moment. A genuine exchange of respect. That was fine. As long as Octavia respected her, and never knew the truth about her, she'd be safe. And I would do anything to keep it that way. 

After they left, it was just me and Madi. I began packing up my medical tools. 

"Octavia's such a badass!" She exclaimed. "I wish we didn't have to lie to her."

I sighed, and turned to her. Gently, I put my hands on her shoulders, rubbing her arms. "Hey, we've talked about this. We have to lie to everyone to keep you safe. If the Grounders find out what you are, some of them might try to replace Octavia with you. I can't have you caught up in a power struggle. Especially during a war." 

Madi nodded in understanding. I smiled, and pulled her into a hug. I knew she was going to grow into a strong, capable woman. But I wanted that to wait. I wanted her to be my child just a little bit longer. I held her tight, long enough to calm my nerves. Finally, I released her. Together, we stepped out into the light drizzle of rain to see Octavia addressing everyone. 

"Wonkru!" She was saying, pointing at Echo. "I banished this murderer from the bunker six years ago. My judgement still stands! She has twenty four hours. If she's still here by then, she fights in the arena." 

Bellamy stormed after Octavia. I sighed. "Madi, stay out of trouble. I'm going to try and keep Bel from getting himself killed."

"Octavia! Octavia stop!" He shouted. "It was six years ago! You can't just cast her out! She won't survive!" 

I caught up with him just as a horn blew through Polis. I looked up to see a ship flying through the sky. 

"Diyoza's ship," I murmured. 

Octavia turned to her brother. "Bellamy, Bellamy get in the bunker!" 

He shook his head, and turned away from her. "Not without Echo."

I grabbed Bellamy's hand, matching his stride. "You're doing the right thing. Echo is family. Even though you're driving me absolutely insane with worry, I want you to know I'm always behind you."

Bellamy squeezed my hand. "I know."

We raced into an alcove where Echo was hiding out, and stood with her. I hugged her, for the first time in my life. Anyone on the end of Octavia's wrath needed a hug. I peered up at the sky, watching as parachutes fell floated down from the ship. When the crates hit the ground, they opened to reveal a ton of food. Food from my valley, my home. 

Diyoza's voice echoed over speakers from the crates. "People of Wonkru. This is Colonel Diyoza offering you a chance for peace. I know you all suffered. I know you're hungry, and so many of you are weary of Octavia's rule, but now you have a choice. Abandon your weapons, leave Wonkru behind, and join us in Shallow Valley. We have plenty of food and shelter for those seeking a better life."

"She's recruiting," I scoffed. Smart. Good effort. But I doubted many people would dare to rebel against Blodreina. 

"When our ship returns tonight," Diyoza continued, "head for the wastelands. Anyone waiting for us outside the ruins will be rescued. But come unarmed. If Octavia attacks our ship, we will retaliate against your city with lethal force. We're watching everything. Always."

Octavia cut off the speaker on one of the crates, but that didn't stop the messages. 

"There is a place in the valley for all of us, so please choose wisely."

* * *

One of Octavia's guards opened the door for me to the office where she and a few others were having a meeting. I stepped through, into the dimly lit room, Bellamy, Harper, and Monty close behind. 

Miller immediately stepped in front of me. "This is a private meeting."

I narrowed my eyes. He was really starting to get on my nerves. 

"It's fine," Octavia said. 

Miller sighed and let me pass. I stepped up to her. "We all have people in that valley that need our help." 

Octavia growled, "If you're talking about your father, I am not interested in rescuing traitors. I'm trying to prevent more of them."

I clenched my hand into fists, trying to push down my fury. One way or another, I was going to see my father again. Octavia wasn't going to stand in my way. 

Bellamy scoffed. "Your people are hungry and you're worrying about defectors? We should stop wasting time looking for enemies in Polis and we should start trying to find a way back into that valley!"

"Last time I checked, Diyoza can see our every move," Octavia countered. 

"That's where Monty comes in," Harper input. 

 Monty stepped forward, pulling a device from his jacket pocket. "Laser comm. It's dialed right into their mother ship. All I need is a relay tower on the ground that we build out of scrap and a computer. I should be able to blind the eye from right here." 

Miller commended, "Good plan. Once it's down, we can attack."

Octavia nodded once. "Fine. Miller set Monty up. Cooper, shoot anyone who tries to defect. We're done here. Time to train."

She left, followed by her loyal soldiers. Everyone was gone until it was just me and Bellamy. Together, we stepped out of the meeting area and into the main arena. 

He crossed his arms, his face crestfallen. "That is not my sister."

I kissed his forehead and ran my thumb over his cheek. "I know it's hard."

I glanced at the other end of the arena as Gaia walked and talked with Madi. Both were smiling. Normally, I'd be happy about that. But considering she was a Flamekeeper, I worried that wouldn't end well. 

"Y/N?" Bellamy said, pulling me from my trance. 

I gave him an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I have to go. Madi!" 

"Hey Y/N!" Madi greeted me, when I approached them. "Gaia was telling me about Wonkru combat tactics."

"According to Madi, she's encountered our enemy," Gaia said. "Perhaps she could train with our novitiates and tell them about it."

I forced a smile. She would not be training. Not now. Maybe not ever. "Thank you, but Madi's not Wonkru. She's Shallow Valley."

Gaia's eyes widened with intrigue. "So that's how you survived. Is it true that Praimfaya missed the entire valley?"

Madi nodded. "Yes, but that's not how I survived. Clarke used Y/N's bone marrow to make me a Nightblood. I owe her my life."

Gaia tilted her head, looking me over. I could sense her doubt. At least Madi was playing her part. I hoped someday she'd understand why no one could know the truth. 

I cleared my throat. "Gaia, would you excuse us?" 

Gently, I pulled Madi away from her, and into a safer space. "I don't think you can train right now." 

"But-" Madi protested. 

I shook my head, and steered her towards the surface. "No, Madi. Not while Octavia is in control. Like this. I want you to. Believe me, I do. I want you to do what makes you happy. But my first priority is your safety. I'm sorry. Here, let's get you to Clarke. You can hang out with her for a while. I have to sort something out."

Disgruntled and clearly not willing to talk to me for a few hours, I kissed her on the top of the head, and left her alone with Clarke. Now, to talk to Echo. I wasn't gonna stand by as she was kicked out because of some ill-minded feud with Octavia six years ago. Six years ago, we were all vastly different people. I might have been on Octavia's side back then. Now, I wasn't going to let her go alone. And neither, it seemed was Bellamy.

I paced around inside her tent, opposite track from Bellamy. "There has to be something we can do. Anything, Echo. You don't deserve this."

Echo sighed and shoved more rations in her pack. "We've been over this. You're not going with me. Neither of you are."

Bellamy huffed. "Like hell we're not! We survive together,  _all_ of us, like always."

Echo paused, glancing over at us. "Monty and Harper are coming too?"

Bellamy nodded. "Yes."

She slammed her hand down. "No!" 

"Echo," I started, trying to reason with her. I wanted to make sure all my friends were safe. Including her. Especially Bellamy. 

"You are not dying for me and neither are they," Echo argued. She turned her gaze to Bellamy. "Your sister needs you here, Bellamy. She's fighting an enemy she can't beat and now Diyoza is using the fact that her people know it to pull them apart."

The flap of the tent opened, shedding a splinter of light for a moment, before Octavia entered. "So what would you do about it, Spy?"

Echo stared her down. "The truth? Surrender. Only a fool fights a war they can't win."

Octavia's gaze rolled over each of us in turn. "I've got a better idea. Spy for me. When that ship comes back tonight, people will try to defect and I can't let that happen."

I pursed my lips. "Octavia that is not what we meant."

Echo narrowed her eyes. "No, but it's smart. If no one goes for the ship Diyoza will think Wonkru's still unified. She'll lose faith in Kane." 

I crossed my arms. "And what happens to the people that she turns in?"

"Root out the traitors, bring me their names before they defect, and your banishment is lifted," Octavia offered. It was a dirty play. But one I knew Echo couldn't pass up. And as much as I disagreed with it, I couldn't ask her to do anything but take the deal. 

* * *

"Would you stop pacing," Monty huffed, glaring at Bellamy. 

I offered him a reassuring smile. "Hey, it's fine. Can you do it or not, Monty?"

Monty shrugged, fingers flying across a keyboard. "I have access to the mothership from the laser-comm but everything's encrypted, so no. When we were up there, I could have opened a back door from the inside but we didn't know they had a damn camera!" 

Monty slammed his hand down on the desk. Frustrated tears welled in his eyes. My heart dropped. I hated seeing my friends in such distress. Especially Monty. He deserved tragedy least of all of us. I rounded the desk, and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

"Hey, hey, Monty," I murmured, trying to help him relax. "Take it easy."

Monty shoved me off and got to his feet, stared at Bellamy. "Look why are we even doing this? So your sister can go to war? What happened to us being the good guys?" 

"We are," Bellamy replied, hands on his hips, brow furrowed.

Monty scoffed. "Really? Letting her kill people for defecting. Correction, thinking about defecting." 

"Raven's a prisoner," Bellamy said, his voice sorrowful. "Murphy has a shock collar around his neck and is alone in the woods with Emori. This...this is how we get back to them."

I put a hand on each of their shoulders, smiling, keeping an aura of optimism. Good to know that's still my role and that much hadn't changed. "We'll get our family back. Yours, mine. We'll all be together, and safe, soon, okay? You just have to try again."

Monty shook his head. "I'm telling you I can't do it from here."

Echo entered the room before either of us could push him any further. She took in our desolate looks and sighed. "What's the matter?"

"No takers?" I asked. 

Echo snorted. "Oh no, there were takers. I'm just not turning them in. Some bad things went on down here, guys. No one will talk about it, not even the ones who want to defect. I can see it in their faces. I'm sorry. I know this means I'll be banished, but I can't do it."

I smiled. "I respect that." In the silence that followed, an idea dawned on me. "Wait, what if we defect with them?"

"Y/N - " Monty protested. 

"No, listen. You said you can't do it from here, but we could do this if we had inside help, right?" 

Monty nodded and unplugged a drive from a tangle of wires on the desk. "I could put the backdoor code in a thumb drive."

"Y/N, Octavia's not joking when she said defectors will be shot," Echo warned. 

I shrugged. "Yeah, okay, admittedly not a perfect plan. But, guys, c'mon. You've known me, how long? Trust me on this."

Hesitantly, they agreed. Now, we just had to bring it to Octavia. That I assumed was not going to go so well. But I'd be damned if I let her intimidate me. When we entered her office, she was sitting, arms flat on the arms of her throne, eyes piercing, scowl set on her face. Same as ever. 

"So, what do you have for me?" She barked. Not even a hello. I expected nothing less. 

I exchanged a glance with Bellamy. "Nothing you're gonna like." 

"I'm not turning people in so you can execute them," Echo said, defiant. 

Octavia's lips turned up in the hint of an amused smile. "A spy and a murderer with a conscience. You're right Bellamy, she has changed."

"Do you have names or not?" Cooper jumped in, ever to the point. 

I crossed my arms, ignoring her question. "There's something else. Monty was wrong. He can't hack the eye from here, not without inside help."

"So you've all failed?" Cooper said. 

I tried to reign in my rising aggravation. Best not to antagonize the most loyal servant of the Red Queen. Instead, I held up the thumb-drive Monty gave me. "Not exactly." 

"What is that?" Octavia asked, her interest clearly piqued. 

I smirked. "Inside help. There's a program on it which opens the backdoor to their systems giving us control of the camera on their mothership. Monty says it's easy to use, if we can get inside their firewall."

Octavia narrowed her eyes. "You want me to let you defect?"

I shrugged. "Either that, or your people starve to death here in Polis when your farm stops producing."

She shook her head. "Out of the question. I'm not sending you on a suicide mission."

"Octavia-" Bellamy protested. 

"Diyoza knows who you are, who both of you are," Octavia reasoned. "She knows you're my brother, Bellamy. And she knows  _you'll_  do anything for him. She would never believe you're defectors."

"She'll believe me," Echo suggested. "I already have the perfect cover. I'm banished. The defectors think I'm one of them. All you have to do is let me go alone."

"I don't like it," Cooper immediately said, turning to Octavia. I refrained from rolling my eyes. "Letting traitors go will promote dissent."

"You're right," Echo agreed. "It's a political sacrifice. But a necessary one if you want your people to survive." 

Tense silence fell over us as she mulled over the proposition. I myself wanted to go, but I knew it wouldn't be as likely as Echo's story. Besides, I couldn't leave Madi behind. Even if she still had Clarke with her. 

"Call off the patrols," Octavia said, cutting the tension. "That's an order. But once you're on that ship, you're on your own. If you're discovered, or you fail to take down the eye, no one is coming to save you."

* * *

Inside her tent, we helped Echo get ready to defect. Monty fastened a leather bracelet around her wrist, inside which held the flash-drive. 

"The latest Grounder fashion with one small modification," he said, smiling. "The jump drive is hidden inside."

"Clever," Echo commended him.

"Once you're on the inside," Monty continued, "get it to Raven. She'll know what to do."

They hugged, Monty a little more somber than usual. I understood the feeling. Echo and I were friends, but we weren't close. Not like they all were up there in space. Part of me felt a pang of jealousy, but I knew that it was for the best. Madi was the light of my life, and I couldn't imagine it without her, not anymore. Everyone had their own little families. And I was happy with mine. 

"Don't get killed, okay? You're the only one who liked my algae," Monty murmured. 

I stifled a laugh. Somehow I doubted that.

"Actually, I was just being polite," Echo apologized, smiling. 

They pulled apart, and he left the tent with Harper. Now it was just the three of us. Bellamy was clearly not happy with this arrangement. 

"I've got this," Echo assured us. 

I bit my lip. I hoped she did. "Yeah, I know. So once the eye's down it'll take at least six days for Octavia and her army to get there but you know, we'll be in the rover and we can get there-"

Echo cut me off by throwing her arms around me. I stumbled, caught off guard. I didn't think she was really the hugging type. At least, not with me. But, I was grateful. I hugged her back tight, trying not to think about how much could go wrong.

"I'll be okay." 

I swallowed back my worry. "I know. Just be safe."

I pulled away from her, and let Bellamy say goodbye. When he was done, I held out my hand to him. Our fingers interlocked. Together, we strolled outside. I leaned into him, closing my eyes. Cool, gentle night breezes shifted across my face. It was a clear night. Stars twinkled in the inky black sky. It was close to the nights I had with Madi and Clarke just sitting and staring. 

"You know, every time I look at the stars I feel an overwhelming sense of comfort," I murmured, pressing a kiss to his hand. "Because every time I looked at them over those six years I thought about you. I knew you were up there, safe, happy. And that was all I needed to feel okay."

Bellamy stroked my hair with his free hand. "I always hoped. I never knew for sure. But I never lost faith in your ability to bounce back. And I can't believe how right I was. Sometimes I wonder if you're really here."

I laughed. "I'm really here. We both are. And nothing greater could have happened."

He stopped, and turned to look at me. I stared into his eyes, taking in the depth of his love within them. Both of us went in for a kiss at the same time, and it was unlike any other before it. They always were. Everything with him was an adventure. And I couldn't have asked for anything better. I was so unbelievably lucky that we'd fallen in love with each other. 

"I should go check on Madi," I whispered, when we pulled away, woozy from the kiss. "I'll see you later."

"Stay safe," he replied, hugging me once more, before I set off for Clarke's tent. 

I pushed aside the flap, still on a euphoria high, only to have it dissipate when I saw Clarke packing a bag. She startled when she heard me enter.

"What are you doing?" I asked, giving her the benefit of the doubt. Not quite sure what that was, but I didn't want to believe she was just going to leave me. 

Clarke turned to me, apologetic. "We can't stay here. Gaia knows."

My gaze shifted to Madi, who was slowly stirring. "That she's...oh. Were you going to tell me? Or just take her and go?"

My tone was a little more defensive than I meant it to be, but I couldn't help it. Madi was my daughter. Clarke couldn't just take her away from me without any warning at all. Even if it was just for her safety. 

"I was going to tell you. But I didn't want to pull you away from Bellamy."

I crossed my arms. "We're a family Clarke. You can't just make decisions like that without telling me."

Madi rolled over, opening her eyes. For just a moment, she was groggy. But when she caught sight of Clarke packing a bag and me glaring, she picked up on the atmosphere quick. 

"What's wrong?" 

"We're leaving," Clarke said. 

"No, no!" Madi protested. 

"Please don't question me right now!" Clarke snapped. "You should have never left that valley."

"I did that because Y/N was in trouble." Madi's gaze shifted to me, her eyes pleading. I always fell for that look that she gave me, the one that made me want to give her the whole world. But I knew Clarke was right. I hated that she went behind my back, that she was going to leave me, but I knew that Madi wasn't safe here. Not if Gaia knew about her blood. 

I sat on the bed beside Clarke, taking Madi's hand in mine. "Listen. Too many people know the truth about you. And when Octavia finds out - "

"Octavia's your friend," Madi said, furrowing her eyebrows. 

I nodded, swallowing over the growing lump in my throat. I didn't want to shatter her rosy goggles she had for Octavia. But I had to if it was to keep her safe. "She used to be. But six years is a long time. Octavia is not the girl from the stories I told you. Not anymore."

"You think she'll hurt me?" Madi asked, incredulous, but cautious. That was my girl. Inspired, smart. 

I squeezed her hand, fighting against the tears in my eyes, the shaking of my voice. I hated to see the fear in her eyes. "I don't know. But I do know that we can't risk anything bad happening to you. You're my family, bot of you are. And family looks out for each other."

"Where will we go?" Madi asked. 

Clarke replied, "Home. When the transport ship gets back. No one cares about your blood there. You'll be safe there."

Madi's eyes widened. "You won't! If we go back there Diyoza will kill you!" 

A tear rolled down my cheek. No kid her age should ever have to worry about something like that. "I know it sucks. But sometimes there are no good choices. Now, if anything happens to Clarke, you can't come all the way back to me. Find my dad, or her mom. You find Marcus and Abby, okay? Do you understand?"

"Wait, you're not coming?" Madi frowned. 

I shook my head. "I'm sorry, baby, I can't. I can't leave Bellamy again. I just found him. But you'll be safe with Clarke, okay? I promise. Come here."

I pulled her into a hug, ran a soothing hand over her hair. I tried hard not to cry as she buried her face into my neck. I feared this might be the last time I ever got to hold her like this. When we pulled away, I hugged Clarke. 

"Stay safe, okay? Both of you. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened."

Clarke squeezed me tight, her voice shaking. "I promise I'll keep her safe." 

I wiped away my tears and stood. "I love you guys. We'll meet again soon."

Before either of them could respond with something that would make me break down even further, I slipped out of the tent and headed for Bellamy's. He was already half asleep when I stripped my jacket off and curled up next to him. 

It felt like I'd hardly had any sleep when the sound of a horn woke me. I rolled off the bed and pulled my jacket back on. Bellamy did the same. Neither of us spoke. It was too nerve-wracking an event to speak. Echo had a mission. Clarke and Madi were going back. And I wasn't sure any of them were going to make it. Trying to keep an optimistic look on it was so difficult it was nauseating. But I had to try. Or I'd have a mental breakdown. 

I stepped out of the tent with Bellamy just in time to send Echo off. Thankfully, I caught Clarke and Madi on their way to the transport ship. Clarke approached us, leaving Madi standing alone. I kept an eye on her for a moment, smiling, hoping to make her feel more comfortable, but then Clarke had my full attention. 

"Echo's defecting?" Clarke exclaimed.

I shook my head. "Uh, not exactly. I'd explain, but..."

"But what?" Bellamy ventured. 

"We're leaving too," Clarke said. 

"What?" He frowned. 

"It's not safe for us here."

"No, Clarke you don't understand," Bellamy explained, "Echo's defecting so we can take down the eye and once it's down - "

"No  _you_ don't understand," Clarke argued. "Diyoza is the least of my concerns. Your sister is dangerous, and Madi's - "

She turned, and abruptly stopped talking. I followed her gaze to where Madi was standing, only to find her gone. My stomach dropped. Panic set in. We raced across the camp, looking for her. The more we ran, the more desperate I became. Damnit, Clarke was right. It wasn't safe for her here. I had to find her. I had to make sure she was okay. 

"Madi!" I called. "Madi, where are you?" 

The transport ship landed, and Clarke's face fell. "We're out of time."

They weren't going to be able to make it on. They wouldn't be able to escape. A selfish part of me was relieved, happy that we'd all still be together. But the overwhelming majority of me was in disarray. Madi was going to need a lot of protection here. More when the truth about her inevitably got out. And it was inevitable, despite what Clarke wanted to think. 

Gunshots echoed across the ruins, followed by screams. I couldn't tell if they were in pain, loss, or terror. Maybe all. But it all came from one spot. 

"They're shooting the defectors," I gasped. Unbelievable! 

I pulled a gun from my waistband, and with Bellamy and Clarke close in tow, searched for the source of the gunshots. From the highest window of one of the buildings still standing, the scope of a rifle was sticking out. 

I nodded towards it. "There."

We raced up the stairs, kicked down the door, ready to shoot. Cooper rose as soon as we barged in, a large rifle in her hands. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Bellamy fumed. "Octavia said to let them go!"

Cooper shrugged. "Who do you think gave me the order?"

I exchanged a glance with Bellamy. She really was a monster now. Lying to us. Shooting people who want to escape her tyranny. I never would have expected that from the strong, defiant warrior I'd known all those years ago. 

I raced out of the tower, with only one thought on my mind. I knew exactly where Madi had gone. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it sooner. She was going to confront Octavia. Because she was a loyal, brave, defiant girl who wanted to protect her family. I was so proud of her, and so very pissed. She was going to get herself killed. 

I ran down into the bunker, didn't stop until guards physically had to when we entered the top of the arena. At the bottom, Madi and Octavia stood doing a blood ritual. 

"Madi!" I called, desperate to get her to safety. "Octavia get away from her!"

Madi nodded up at me, trying her best to sound reassuring. "Y/N, it's okay. I came to her."

"Let her pass," Octavia ordered, as she cut the palm of her hand with her blade. 

I pushed past the guard, running down to the arena, as Octavia chanted the words to bind them together, to initiate her into Wonkru. I was too late to stop it, just barely. 

"What the hell are you doing?" I cried, when I reached the bottom of the arena. I rushed to Madi's side, inspected the wound in her hand. 

"It's okay," Madi said. "She knows everything." 

I glanced up at Clarke who was as distressed as I was. Everything? That was definitely not good. 

"I understand why you lied, Kane," Octavia said, her voice calm and cool. Use of my last name. Not a good sign considering her hatred for my father. "You were just trying to protect her. But Madi no longer needs your protection. She has mine." She turned to Madi, her voice softer. "I know what it's like to be the girl under the floor. You don't have to be afraid anymore. Your training begins tomorrow."

I clenched my hands into fists, trying not to attack her. I knew I would lose that battle. Not because I couldn't take her, but because she had a legion of loyal soldiers fueled by their fear of her to come to her aid. 

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me," Octavia promised, though I wasn't sure I bought it. 

As she walked away, I turned to Madi, and asked for her hand. I began cleaning up the blood. 

"I know you're mad, but I told her I don't want to be Commander," Madi explained, as I wrapped the wound with some spare gauze. "I did it to keep you and Clarke safe." 

I sighed. "That's my job. And you just made it a whole lot harder." 

I pulled her into a hug. Now that Octavia knew, nothing could be done. Madi would never be safe. 

I looked up to see Bellamy leaning over the railing, a solemn look on his face. I guessed his conversation with his sister went about as well as mine. She had changed more than I ever thought a person could. I wondered if she really was doing it for Wonkru, or if she just liked the taste of blood. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, sorry this took so long to get out. Got into a rut! Hopefully you guys are enjoying!! More to come!!


	6. Acceptable Losses

"Bellamy, you've been staring at that all night," I murmured, startling him. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him on the cheek. "Go get some sleep, okay? I got this."

Bellamy gave me a faint smile, but didn't tear his eyes away from the monitor showing the radar of the eye. "It's been eight hours. Raven could have built a cathedral by now."

I chuckled softly. "You're probably right. Don't worry, Bel. They'll get it done. 

Bellamy nodded. "I know. I just wish I could do more to help."

I gave him a gentle squeeze. "You're doing the best you can. And I love that you won't give up."

He put a hand on mine, and I relished the warm touch. I yearned for so much more than the simple pleasure of holding his hand, but I knew there was no good time or place. Not until we were safe. 

The door opened. Octavia entered, followed by Indra. I turned, forcing myself to keep a neutral expression. Better not to antagonize her anymore. Not when Madi's safety is on the line. 

"Well?" She said. "Any word?"

Bellamy clenched his hands into fists and turned his attention back to the monitor. As much as I didn't like the prospect of actually speaking with Octavia, I would do it for his sake. Besides, I still thought that my friend was there, however deep down, buried beneath all this lust for war. 

"Look, we knew it would take some time," I said, trying to be civil. "We can count on Echo."

"Wouldn't be the first time she betrayed us," Octavia grunted. 

Indra jumped in, "If your brother trusts her, maybe we should too."

I nodded at her in thanks. It seemed I could always count on her rationale. A good balance from Octavia's unhinged rage. 

Octavia stared at her brother. I kept a hand on his arm, a show to both of them that I would never leave his side. "You're still upset we shot the traitors. I get how that must look to you. But we're fighting for our lives here, Bellamy. The hydrofarm is on its last legs." She took a step toward him, and I shifted in front of him. Just slightly. Hopefully not enough to aggravate her. It was mostly out of instinct. "Truth is, it's a miracle you showed up when you did. I haven't thanked you enough for that." 

She put a hand on his back, and he barely reacted. 

"If we can just get to Shallow Valley, things will be better. I promise."

Bellamy scoffed. "Funny that's the same thing we said about getting back to the ground. Then we found you."

Octavia's face fell. First to disappointment, something like misery, and then she walled up behind anger. Without any more words, she turned on her heel and strode out the door, Indra in tow. 

I kissed Bellamy on the top of his head. "I'm happy you can stand up to your sister. But please, be careful. I don't want to lose you." 

"You'll never lose me, firecracker," Bellamy promised, smiling genuinely for the first time in a while. "Go take care of Madi. I'll be okay here a while longer."

Idly, I ran my hands through his hair. For some reason it calmed my nerves. Made me feel closer to him, even though we were already practically inseparable. "Are you sure? Madi's my daughter, but you're just as important a priority." 

"And that's what I love about you. How much you care, all the time. I'll be okay. I'll talk to you later." 

I smiled. "Okay. Later, then. Try not to go too insane in here." 

He laughed lightly. "I'll try."

I let my hand linger on his shoulder for a moment more. Then I was gone, the door shutting quietly behind me. Now, I had to deal with Madi. Today, she would begin her training. And I feared she was going to be too good. We'd sparred before, to pass time, to teach each other new maneuvers. That was going to blow back on me now. 

I pushed aside the flap to our tent, and found Clarke in there finishing up braiding her hair. Madi's eyes brightened when she saw me. 

"Hey, guys," I said, smiling. 

Madi hugged me, then grabbed a sword, ready to leave. I hooked my arm through hers, spinning her around before she could leave. 

"Not so fast. I think Clarke's got something for you," I said, nodding to her. Clarke held up a canteen.

Madi rolled her eyes. "I'm pretty sure they're gonna have water there." 

"Take it anyway," I suggested. 

Madi obliged, rather hesitantly. "I'm not a baby anymore." 

Clarke and I exchanged a concerned glance. She was growing up. And I hated that she had to. 

I sighed. "We know. Which is why people are more likely to notice how special you are, and that's why you're gonna suck today. You're not gonna stand out in any way. No one can think that you'd make a good Commander. Not Gaia, and especially not Octavia." 

"Y/N, I understand," Madi replied, coolly. 

I tried to be reassuring. I didn't want to push her too hard, or make her feel like she couldn't be herself. There was a fine line between keeping her safe and pushing her away. "Once Echo gets that camera in the sky down, we all get to go home to Shallow Valley." 

"Great," Madi huffed. "Maybe when we fight the war there I won't have to suck."

I knew she didn't mean it, but it still made me feel like she was upset with me. Understandable. In any case, she kissed me on the cheek and raced out of the tent. At least she had something to be excited about. I just wanted her happy. Safe, and happy. 

I sighed and took a seat on the bed beside Clarke. "We're doing the right thing, right?" 

She nodded. "To keep her safe." 

I nodded. "Right." 

I leaned into her as she wrapped an arm around my shoulders. Everything was so complicated now. Some moments I found myself longing for the peaceful times when it was just the three of us. Part of me wished I could go back to that, away from all this war business. But then, my heart ached so much all those years, wondering if Bellamy was okay. And I never wanted to feel that again. 

I reached over to the bedside table where Jasper's goggles and the letter he'd left for Monty resided. I ran my fingers over the familiar shape. Memories flashed through my mind. Always making me laugh, saving me from Lincoln the first time we'd met him, helping me find joy in the drama of Pike. God. I didn't think I would miss him so much. 

I put the goggles down, and picked up the letter. Clarke and I had an unspoken conversation. She smiled and waved me off. Hopefully she would take this time to get some rest. Both of us had spent enough time worrying about Madi. At least one of us should sleep it away for a few hours. 

Letter in hand, I trekked through the camp and down into the bunker. There was only one place I could think of Monty would be right now. I knew he loved the hydrofarm. Dying as it was. Sure enough, there he was, fingering the wilting plants. 

"I thought I might find you down here," I said, smiling softly. 

"I miss my algae farm," he replied, heaving a sigh. "I thought being around all this might help."

I looked around. It didn't seem like much. But I appreciated the stark difference from the wasteland above. "Does it?"

Monty shrugged, sauntering towards me. "Most of the crops are fallow. The equipment needs repair. I give it three weeks until this place is as dead as the wasteland."

His gaze trailed to the letter in my hands, asking a silent question. 

I cleared my throat. "Oh, uh, right, I've been meaning to give this to you. It just never really felt like the right time." 

I handed it to him. Delicately, he held it between his fingers. "Jasper's handwriting."

"I found it at Arkadia not long after Praimfaya. I nearly read it a couple of times but now I'm glad I didn't," I admitted. 

Monty nodded in thanks. I could see the deep pain behind his eyes. One never truly recovered from the loss of their best friend. 

Before either of us could say anything more, the door to the hydrofarm opened and Cooper entered, leaving a guard at the door. She rolled a cart behind her, upon which rested a body. My eyes widened, and I grabbed Monty's hand pulling him out of sight. Together, we raced down another aisle, hiding behind a column of plants. 

We watched as Cooper rolled the body into a room at the back of the farm. I waited until she was gone to inspect the door. I tried the handle, but unsurprisingly, it was locked. Monty looked around, and picked up a pair of shears from beside the door.

I raised an eyebrow. "Uh, Monty, I don't think you can pick a lock with pruning shears."

Monty gave me a look before using it to break off a part of the magnet mechanism that held the shears down. "Ye of little faith."

I snorted. "Oh, come one you know I have faith in you. Show me what you got."

Monty approached the door. "The keypad energizes the solenoid, pulls the coil, and pin back. A magnet can do the same thing."

Monty gently placed the magnet above the handle and slowly moved it around until the lock clicked. He gave me a pointed look, full of cockiness to rival my own. 

I clucked my tongue. "You are quite the wonder, Monty."

He held the door open for me and then followed me into the room. I wasn't sure what to make of what I saw inside. It looked like it was meant to hold something. Test something. 

"A bio-containment lab?" Monty exclaimed, answering my question. "What the hell is this for?" 

I approached the other end of the room, where a large plastic sheet separated the room in half. I grabbed the zipper that kept it contained, and pulled it up. "Let's find out."

"I don't like this," Monty noted. 

I gave him a reassuring glance, before stepping through. There were a few tubes much like the ones in Becca's lab set up. Inside one, I caught a glimpse of an unconscious woman. I tugged at the curtain covering the tube until it revealed the rest. 

I gasped and stumbled back in surprise. "Oh my god."

Huge bloody worms writhed inside the tube, feeding off of the woman's abdomen. So she wasn't unconscious. She was a dying host. 

"You said no one else was bitten," Monty said. 

I could barely find my voice to reply. This was horrifying. "No they weren't. I don't...I don't understand. Why would she..." I trailed off as a horrible realization struck me like a splash of water. "They're breeding them."

Cautious, I stepped around to the other tube, pulled away the curtain. A man lay in this one, pale and deathly. There weren't any visible worms. Maybe he had yet to be infected. Maybe they were still just growing inside of him. The latter became apparent the longer I stared. Beneath his skin, tons of worms wriggled around.

"The cold must slow them down." Monty pointed at the temperature monitor at the top of the containment tube. "Y/N, if Octavia can deliver these worms in a defector - " 

A moan cut him off. My eyes widened as I glanced down to see the man was groaning in pain, just barely moving. 

"He's alive," I gasped. I spoke maybe a little too soon. Blood erupted from his mouth, followed closely by a few of the worms, burrowing out of him. This was barbaric. It was getting harder and harder to believe that Octavia still had something redeemable in her. 

I put the curtains back over the glass tubes, and pulled Monty out of the lab. This, Bellamy had to know about. I knew it would be hard for him to hear. But this wasn't a secret to be kept. 

We met with him in the cafeteria. I sat beside him, Monty across. We relayed everything we'd uncovered. With every word, Bellamy grew more tense, more confused.  

"My sister never approved of human testing," Bellamy argued. "I don't care how crazy it's become down here." 

I sighed, choosing my words carefully. One thing the Blake siblings had in common was their defensive walls shot up in the blink of an eye. "Desperation has a way of making the unimaginable a necessity."

Bellamy shook his head. "Still, if she weaponizes those things and sends them into the valley then Echo, Raven, Murphy, your dad..." 

The rest of his sentence hung heavy in the air. It didn't need to be spoken. Our friends, my father...their lives were on the line. Octavia didn't care if they all died for her to win.

"Not just them," Monty added. "All of us. Unleashing an invasive species on the last arable land on earth is a monumentally bad idea."

Bellamy sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. I rubbed small circles on his back in an attempt to comfort him. "Even if Octavia does know, she won't listen to me. We need help."

He nodded in the direction of Indra, who was seated across the cafeteria, her back to us. Bellamy stood. 

"Be diplomatic," I suggested. 

He nodded. "Yeah." 

As Bellamy walked away to talk to Indra, Monty turned to me. "Y/N, he was there when Pike shot her and killed three hundred of her people." 

I mulled over his words. "Yeah, I'll go with him." 

Monty nodded. "Good idea. I'll go relieve Harper."

We parted ways. I joined up with Bellamy, who was attempting to get Indra alone. 

"Hey, we need to talk to Indra!" I barked, expecting the others to leave. They did not. I put as much commanding into my voice as I possibly could. " _Ban ou."_

Still, they didn't heed my words. Only a slight nod from Indra got them to leave her alone. When the others were out of earshot, we took seats next to her. 

"Real diplomatic," Bellamy whispered. 

I rolled my eyes.

"Indra, would Cooper do something without my sister's approval?" Bellamy asked. 

"Only if she got mine first," Indra replied, completely stoic. "But since I don't know what the hell you're talking about, it's hard to say."

"She brought back the worms," I said, hardly believing what I was saying. I guess I was still more shocked than I wanted to admit. 

Bellamy added, "She's breeding them, experimenting on defectors. One of them is still alive."

There was a crack in her stoicism. "Why would she do that?"

"My guess, trying to find a way to keep them dormant long enough to deliver them in the next defection," I explained. 

"Good plan," Indra commended, though she didn't seem to fully believe that. "Show me."

We obliged. I took the lead, and showed both of them the bio-lab. Indra didn't say anything the entire time. While her face was like stone, her eyes told a different story. This pained her. Octavia's transformation scared her. 

Indra had the mercy to kill the man that was still alive by suffocating him through the use of the hazard gloves attacked to the containment tube. The moment she finished doing that, the door to the lab opened. Cooper entered followed by Octavia. 

"Let's get this over with," Indra muttered. 

Cooper narrowed her eyes at me and Bellamy. "What the hell are they doing here, Indra?"

I interlocked my fingers with Bellamy's as Octavia approached us. 

"You wanted to see me?" She asked, her voice gruff and challenging. 

Indra glowered at her, her voice a mix of shock and anger. "You knew about this."

She scoffed. "Of course I knew. It was my idea. We're up against an army with superior firepower and every geographic advantage. This is how we overcome that."

I squeezed Bellamy's hand in an effort to keep my anger down, but it didn't work out so well. "What happens when your secret weapon destroys the valley you're fighting for?"

Cooper replied, "I ran some tests. The worms can't survive in a green environment for more than a few days, long enough to kill everyone they come in contact with before we get there."

Bellamy squeezed my hand back. Good to know we'd always be each other's support system. "Are we really having this conversation? Our friends are there. People we love." 

Octavia shrugged, completely emotionless. "Acceptable losses. Cooper check on the worms. Come on, big brother. How many innocent lives have you sacrificed? Or you, Kane? This is no different. You were just trying to save your people. So am I."

"You killed him!" Cooper accused, when she came back from checking on the worms. 

"No, you did," Indra snapped. 

"Cooper?" Octavia asked. 

Cooper sighed. "One of the defectors survived."

"Looks like we found something that's not acceptable," Bellamy mused. 

"Blodreina," Cooper said, pushing past me. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but the results were remarkable. The worms reproduced three times faster in a live body, and we need quantity as well as control."

I saw it in her face. She was considering the horrific benefits. "Octavia you don't want to do this!"

"Spare me your hypocrisy, Kane." She turned to Cooper. "And just how long did your test subject survive?"

Cooper smirked. "Long enough for a defector to board their ship and fly to the valley."

"Octavia, please," Bellamy begged. "Don't do this."

She turned, stared him directly in the eyes. I tried to find something behind them, some hidden shred of humanity, but I couldn't. "I don't want anything to happen to your friends, Bellamy. Not even Echo, please believe that. But this is war. Once we control the eye in the sky, we send the worms. Cooper, choose one of the elite guards to deliver it. It's time for Wonkru to go home."

* * *

"Let's go over this again," Bellamy said, pacing around the small tech room. I guess it had kind of become our meeting spot. I sat in front of the monitor for the eye, trying to keep my hands busy. Harper was intently listening to Bellamy and Monty was sat on the other side of the table, reading Jasper's letter. "As soon as Echo and Raven get the eye down, we take the rover. We drive across the wasteland. We break out our people before Wonkru attacks with the worms." 

I frowned. "Octavia will be expecting us to do something like that. She'll post sentries."

Bellamy shrugged. "That's too bad for the sentries."

Monty slammed his hand on the table, startling all of us. I turned my head in his direction to see tears glistening in his eyes. He stood, waving the letter around. "This, this was supposed to be Jasper's suicide note after we pulled him out of the City of Light. He was gonna put a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger.  _Monty, I know you're an optimist; you think better days are ahead, but that's not true. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. There's only the tunnel. Another enemy to fight. Another war. I've come to the conclusion that we're the problem. Human beings. All of us. The cycle can't be broken as long as we're here. That's why I won't be here. That's why -"_ Monty's voice broke, and my heart lurched.

Harper approached him, put a gentle hand on his face. "Monty, it's okay." 

Monty blinked away a few tears. "Yeah, Jasper was smarter than all of us. It doesn't matter what we do. Coming back to the ground, opening the bunker, all we've done is made things worse. If war is the only way to have the last survivable land on earth, then maybe we don't deserve it."

Monty brushed Harper away and stormed out of the room. I exhaled slowly, fighting back the rising lump in my throat. Seeing Monty like that, so distressed, so in pain was horrible. I wished there was more I could do to console him, but I couldn't change Octavia's mind. I couldn't bring Jasper back. For the first time in a long time, I was completely and utterly helpless. 

Harper left not long after, probably to go comfort Monty. I didn't mind the alone time with Bellamy. For the most part, we were silent. Just sitting together, enjoying the feel of each other's bodies. Intimate in the best way possible. 

I looked up at him, to see him wistfully staring at the wall. I pecked him on the cheek and returned to cuddling into his arms. "You know, we should find more time for moments like this. Truly, they mean everything to me. A sanctuary in the midst of all this chaos." 

Bellamy ran his thumb over my knuckles. "You're always so poetic." 

"It's the writer in me," I said, smiling sheepishly. "Can't help it."

"You know, when we were up in space, I found something," Bellamy murmured in my ear. 

"Try for something a little more specific," I said. 

"Week two, I found your notebook. It was on the ground in one of the back hallways. Looked pretty beaten up." 

My heart warmed at the thought of that notebook, that piece of my old life. I could still remember the last moment I touched it, when it was ripped from my hands so I could be dragged away onto a ship to the earth. I laughed softly. "Wow. I'd almost forgotten about that. You know, it was the last thing I had of my mother."

Bellamy's lips brushed against my ear as he spoke. "I know. As I'm sure it kept you close to her, reading it kept you close to me. I felt like a part of you was with me all those years. It's why I never lost hope."

My smile grew wider. "I can't believe you read that. Embarrassing." 

"Not if it's some of the best writing known to man," Bellamy replied, smiling.

Heat rose in my face. "Flattery huh? That will get you everything, love. Keep it up." 

I giggled as I tilted my head up again. He bent down, and our lips met in a tender, gentle kiss. I savored it, hoping we'd have some more passionate alone time later. 

Just then, the monitor finally shifted. I sat up straight, and bolted into that chair, feeling strangely cold being away from Bellamy. "Hey, something's happening!" 

Three separate surveillance tools appeared on the monitor, all in terms of long range radar. Only one thing could give us all that. The eye. My smile widened. 

"We're in!" I exclaimed. "Echo did it!" 

Bellamy nodded. "Okay." 

He headed for the door, but I grabbed his arm. "Wait, Bellamy. As soon as we tell her, she marches to war and unleashes those worms." 

"That's why we got to get there first," Bellamy countered. "We take the rover. We get our people out. Then we worry about stopping the war, okay?" 

Slowly, I nodded. 

"Good. I'll get Monty and Harper. You get Madi and Clarke. We leave tonight."

I turned off the monitor, and left the room not far after Bellamy. Everything would go off without a hitch. I hoped. Because I didn't know what I would do if it didn't. 

Madi would be in training right now. I expected Clarke was with her, keeping an eye on her. Maybe I should have been doing that a little more, but it was hard to keep up with her and Bellamy. I hoped neither of them grew to resent me. 

I headed for the bunker, and to the arena, where sure enough sparring was taking place. Octavia watched from her throne, behind the fence. Clarke stood beside the bench, and I joined her. Once Madi was finished here, I'd get both of them and go. No hesitation. 

Ethan, one of the children fighting, struck down his opponent. Gaia declared him the winner and for Jonas to be the next to challenge him. Instead, Octavia raised her hand. 

"Wait. Madi, you're up. Fight," Octavia declared. 

I tried to fight away my anxiety. Madi was smart. She could do it. And she could do it without giving away her true skill.

Gaia shook her head. "Blodreina, she's not ready."

Octavia just stared, waiting expectantly. Slowly, Madi rose to her feet. She picked a wooden sword, and threw me an encouraging look. I tried to do the same back. I believed in her. 

Gaia cleared her throat. "Be the last." 

And Ethan was upon her, striking down with full force. Madi kept two hands on the hilt of her sword, trying to fend against his blows, but within seconds he overpowered her. It pained me to see her on the ground, dignity at risk, but I was proud of her for showing restraint. 

Madi got to her feet, and swung her sword around. Defiance filled her eyes, a fire of determination. I recognized it. I felt it every day. But I did not want her to call upon it now. Discretely as possible, I shook my head. 

She fought back against Ethan, parrying each of his blows, striking with skilled accuracy. My heart pounded harder as I caught Octavia's intrigue growing. Madi swung until she had Ethan on the ground at her mercy. 

"Enough!" Gaia shouted, stopping the fight. 

Panting, Madi extended a hand to Ethan and helped him up. Gaia gave Madi the same pained, disappointed look Clarke and I did. This was not going to turn out well. 

Octavia ordered, "Gaia, fit her for armor and get her a real sword. Madi, we're about to fight a war on your land, for your land, and I could really use a second who knows the terrain when we get there. What do you say, Madi kom Wonkru?"

Octavia extended her hand to Madi. When my child accepted the offer, I couldn't hide my fear. I turned my gaze to the ceiling, trying to collect myself. 

"Alright then," Octavia announced. "We march as soon as the eye is down." Octavia turned to me and Clarke. "I need to borrow her for a strategy session. You don't mind, do you, Kane?" 

Good to know she still had a bone to pick with me. Feeling was mutual. I exchanged a glance with Clarke and pushed down all my feelings. "Nope. It's fine."

I turned and left the arena, unable to maintain my calm and collected expression. I headed for the tech room, ready to deliver the bad news. 

"Where's Madi?" Bellamy asked as soon as I entered. 

I balled my hands into fists. "With your sister."

"Y/N, we don't have time for this!" Bellamy huffed. "We have to leave, now! As soon as Diyoza realizes what Echo did, she's dead. We have no choice."

I shook my head. "You're wrong. We have one." 

I grabbed the radio on the table. 

"Wait, what are you doing?" Monty asked, putting a hand over mine to stop me. 

I turned to him, keeping my tone as gentle as I could. "Stopping the cycle." 

Hesitantly, he pulled his hand away. I smiled in thanks, and lifted the radio to my lips. "This is Y/N Kane. I have a question for Colonel Diyoza."

Diyoza's voice crackled through in response almost immediately. "Hello, Y/N. It's been too long. What the hell do you want?"

"What would it take for you to share the valley?" I asked. 

Diyoza snorted. "Share it? Well, let me see. Short of an unconditional surrender, nothing."

Monty scoffed. "Octavia will never surrender."

I pursed my lips, hardly believing what I was suggesting. But it was at that point now. To protect my child, my father, my boyfriend, everyone I love, I had to resort to something I thought unthinkable. Something past me would hate me for. "That's why we're gonna take her out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this entire chapter in one day?? Wow, hello motivation long time no see. Hopefully you guys enjoyed this chapter! More to come!


	7. How We Get To Peace

"I don't care how you make it happen, Y/N," Diyoza's voice crackled through the radio. "Kill Octavia if you have to. Bring her to me in chains and I'll do it for you. Or she can surrender herself. But your Red Queen doesn't seem like the type." 

I kept my breaths steady, and my gaze trained on Bellamy's back. I knew he wasn't going to like this idea. I couldn't blame him. I just hoped it didn't drive a wedge between us. He could be pissed at me all he wanted, but this was how we got to peace. "Let us worry about that." 

Diyoza replied, "We have an understanding then."

I sighed. "We do."

"Good. Call me back when it's done, and we can work out the details of your crossing. Over and out." Static filled the other line. 

"No way," Bellamy said, his voice gruff. 

I knew this was coming. I thought I had prepared myself for it, but nothing would ever stop me from being upset whenever he was in pain. Even if it was my doing. "Bellamy-"

He turned around, stared me down. I forced myself to meet his eyes, to face all the misery behind them. "We are not killing my sister, Y/N. I don't care how crazy she is." Bellamy yanked the radio from my hands and handed it to Monty. "Run the loop. Rover's charged. We're getting our friends." 

Bellamy grabbed a bag and started packing it up. He wouldn't look at me. "That was reckless. We had a plan. You agreed." 

"That was before Octavia made Madi her second!" I argued, trying and failing to keep my cool. Everyone turned to look at me in surprise, even Bellamy. At least now I had their attention. "That army marches to war as soon as they find out the eye is down. I can't let that happen." 

"So we don't tell anyone?" Harper asked. 

Monty shook his head. "They'll know as soon as we drive away."

Bellamy scoffed. "Oh who cares! We grab Madi and Clarke and we go."

I couldn't hide my distress, not when his was so infectious. "Bellamy she's by her side!" 

"She's my sister, Y/N!" Bellamy cried. 

I stepped towards him, careful not to push his boundaries while he was upset. "I know. Tell me what else to do!" 

"We stop the war," Monty suggested. 

"How?" Harper inquired. 

Monty pulled out his tube of cultured algae from his jacket. "Algae."

"Monty-" Bellamy protested. 

"Cooper already gave me permission to show what it can do!" Monty argued. "She's meeting me before the afternoon meal so I can take her to the -" 

Bellamy cut him off and snatched the algae from his hands. "That's enough!" 

"Hey!" Monty furrowed his eyebrows and stood. "Give it back!" 

Harper put a hand on his shoulder. "Monty, Bellamy's right. Cooper's worse than Octavia. No offense. Besides the first batch put Murphy into a coma for almost a week. By the time it's ready to eat -" 

Monty shook his head. "The first culture. And we're not gonna eat it this time. We're gonna feed it to the plants. If I can make the farm viable again, then we'll still have a chance."

I mulled over his words. Not a bad plan. If he could get the hydrofarm started again, then we could actually survive here. Make our own colony. As much as I missed the valley, the place that had been my home for six years, I would rather abandon it to live in safety with my family. War wasn't worth it, not if there was another option.

Before I could support Monty with his enticing offer, the door opened and Octavia entered. Her gaze fell to the monitor, where the land was visible from the sky. 

"The spy did her job?" Octavia asked, suspicious. 

Bellamy picked up on everybody's panic and jumped to the defense. "Uh, we were just about to send for you. Told you Echo would get it done."

Octavia narrowed her eyes. "Can the enemy still see us?" 

Monty sighed. "For now, yes. It's technical, but..."

"He has to run a loop to mask our troop movements," Cooper finished. "When the time comes we need to clear the surface to reduce the risk of anyone noticing the same people moving in the same direction again and again." 

Octavia smiled. It was a sincere smile. Prideful, though. "Well done, Monty. Load the worms into the rover and mobilize the army. War is here."

Octavia and her entourage left, leaving me feeling hopeless. The air ceased to flow for a moment. War was coming. And I wasn't sure I could do much to stop it now, short of actually killing Octavia. I knew that was our best plan, but could I really do it? Despite my current hatred for her, I had too many good memories with her. Too long a friendship. I couldn't kill her. Our best bet was to sway Indra. 

* * *

Bellamy and I arranged to meet with Indra on the top floor of a secluded tower. Neither of us spoke. We were too stressed out to make conversation. Instead, we stood beside each other, basking in our comforting presence. He wouldn't take my hand. I guess he was still mad at me for suggesting we kill his sister. Fair enough. 

The door opened and I turned to see Indra entering. 

"We're readying for war. Do you know the risk I'm taking to meet you here?" Indra grunted. 

Bellamy nodded. "Yes. Thank you for coming."

Indra glared at us. "What do you want?"

I swallowed back my anxiety. No matter what, after all these years, I have more respect for Indra than most people. I know she'll scorn me for what I say, and it'll hurt, but I have to do it. "I talked to Colonel Diyoza. She's offering all of Wonkru safe passage to the valley. All Octavia has to do is surrender."

Indra's glare hardened. "As if by now you haven't realized she'll never do that, I'll ask again. What do you want from me?"

I exchanged a glance with Bellamy and encouraged him to take the next sentence. "Peace without war is still possible. Now you're her adviser. She'll listen to you."

"Why would I advise her to surrender in a war she's likely to win?" Indra implored, far from convinced. "Thanks to you, we can march freely on the enemy while the worms ravage them. By the time we get to the valley, the only thing left to do will be to clean up the mess."

I stepped closer to her, trying to hide the desperation in my voice. Indra was my last chance before I started getting reckless. "And if the worms ravage the valley?"

Indra barely flinched. God, this  _had_ to have more of an effect on her than she was letting on. "A risk she's willing to take." 

I narrowed my eyes, searching for something in her that is on my side. "Are you?" 

There is was. A flicker of worry. So she could still be convinced. "It's not up to me." 

I kept pushing. I had to get her on board. "What if it was?" 

Bellamy sighed, annoyed. "Y/N - "

Indra shook her head. "I will not help you kill my leader."

"Neither will I," Bellamy added. 

I knew it was a long shot, but I had to try. And I truthfully didn't want to kill Octavia, not unless we'd completely run out of options. I didn't want to push another wedge between me and Bellamy. I didn't need a repeat of the Pike nearly killing my father situation. Especially not reversed. 

"What if the outcome of the war wasn't certain, if she didn't have the worms?" Bellamy continued. "Would she still fight?" 

I thought the answer was obvious, but Bellamy still had a lot of hope for his sister. I admired that, as much as it made it difficult to deal with Octavia's actions. 

Indra turned to him. "If she didn't have the worms, both sides would take heavy losses."

Bellamy waved a hand. "Exactly. If all it took to save her people from that and deliver them to the promised land was surrender, would she do it?" 

"I would hope so," Indra said. "Of course, you would never see the promised land because she would know it was you and, brother or not, throw you in the pits."

An idea popped into my mind. One that would make Bellamy happy, hopefully restore hope in Octavia's humanity, and keep everyone I loved safe. "Not if she thought it was Cooper. There's a fail-safe in the processing room. I saw it when I was in there. A way to kill the worms if they ever - " 

"Folly!" Indra shouted, cutting me off. "Cooper would never push that button, and since she's the only one that handles the worms - " 

"Cooper would be dead," I finished my thought. Both of them turned to me, surprised. Part of me hated that I was suggesting it, to take another life, but it was the only way. And I knew how to do it. I was a warrior at heart, after all. On top of that, a leader. If I wasn't careful I might turn into Octavia. "We'll make it look like an accident. You would be the first responder. You would hit the fail-safe button. No more worms." 

Silence fell. I waited, tense, for Indra to respond. It was an eternal moment. 

Finally, she spoke, taking in my words. "No more war." 

I nodded, and looked at Bellamy. At least there wasn't any disappointment in his face. I would take that as him being on board. 

* * *

Bellamy and I snuck into the hydrofarm, readying to set my plan into motion. I offered him a small smile as we crept through the rows, but he didn't return it. I didn't blame him. I turned my attention back to Cooper. She was talking to Monty, having a lighthearted conversation. I hated to use him as bait. He didn't know. Hopefully he had enough faith in me to trust that killing Cooper was the right call. As horrible as it was.  

Cooper turned, when Bellamy shuffled his foot. She called out, asking if someone was there. That was when Bellamy took his chance. He leaped on her, pressed a cloth soaked in chloroform over her mouth and nose, and kept her from fighting against him. 

"Bellamy!" Monty cried, distressed. The pain in his voice hurt me. I tried to ignore it. 

As soon as Cooper went limp in Bellamy's arms, I stepped out from my hiding spot. I threw Monty an apologetic glance as Bellamy threw Cooper over his shoulders. 

"Monty, come on," I said, trying to keep my voice commanding but kind. "We need you to get into the processing room." 

Monty furrowed his eyebrows, anger swelling from him in waves I could almost feel. "What the hell are you doing?" 

"Explain later," Bellamy replied, following me to the door of the processing room. 

Monty scoffed. "Actually, if you want me to open that door, you'll explain now."

I understood his concern. Part of me wondered if it would have been better to tell him earlier. But then, I knew his heart was too good to be on board. But it was also good enough that there was a chance for forgiveness. And I always thought it was better to ask forgiveness than permission. Especially in this situation. 

"I know it doesn't look like it, but this is how we stop the war," Bellamy replied, laying Cooper down on the ground. 

Monty shouted, "I was stopping the war!" 

I warned, "Keep your voice down! If anyone hears us - "

Monty stared at Cooper, disappointment and disgust blatant on his face. It struck a chord in me. "You're killing her aren't you?" 

I nodded, unable to hide my guilt. "Yes."

Monty's face fell, and he couldn't look at me. I hoped it didn't stay that way forever. Unable to bear the sight of my face because of all the sins I've committed. 

"If you don't open that door, we're the ones who get killed," Bellamy pleaded. 

I pulled the magnetic strip from the gardening box just like he had the last time we were here. I held it out to him. "Open it, Monty. Please."

"And of course, I help because what's one more, right?" Monty huffed, snatching the magnet from my hand. I hated to see him like this. Pissed. Falling apart. Stretched thin between the altering morality of all his friends. I hoped that this ended the war and put an end to his and all our suffering. "We're already murderers."

"That's not fair," Bellamy protested. "We're talking about taking one life to save hundreds."

Monty turned away from the door, spite and fury dripping from his voice. "Really? Then let's kill Octavia."

He looked between us. I didn't waver, even if I agreed with him. Bellamy would never go for it. And both of us knew that. 

Monty scoffed. "Didn't think so."

The door opened and he practically threw the magnet back at me. Yeah, this was gonna take a long time to fix. But I had hope that our friendship would persevere. I had to believe that. Optimism was running low around here. 

"Monty," I started, but he wouldn't listen. All he did was keep walking. I didn't blame him. Instead, I turned to Bellamy, struck with grief at the plethora of conflicting emotions in his eyes. I didn't want him to be tortured by this too. I was beginning to understand how Clarke felt most of the time. "We're doing the right thing."

Bellamy shrugged. "If you say it enough, maybe I'll believe you."

I pursed my lips and followed him into the room. Bellamy and I worked together to dress Cooper in a hazmat suit, one with a slit in the glove. Barely noticeable, but it would be enough for the worms. It was more strenuous than I thought it would be. Once that was done, we put her inside the containment lab and destroyed the worm habitats. As soon as the deed was done, we stood outside the containment sheet and watched. Guilt sat in my stomach, heavy like a rock, as Cooper awoke. 

Panic spread from her, nearly infectious. I held my ground, staring at her with cold eyes. 

"You'll both die for this," Cooper said, when she'd gotten her bearings. Not but a moment after her threat, she grunted in pain and doubled over. I looked away as she began to writhe in pain. "Please make it stop. Aahh!" 

Her skin bulged beneath the suit as the worms rooted around inside her. Screams rang throughout the room. Piercing. Adding to the rock in my stomach. 

I grabbed Bellamy's hand. "Let's go. It'll work. Octavia will have to surrender. This is how we get to peace." 

Bellamy nodded, gently squeezed my hand, and together we walked out of the room, leaving Cooper's agony in our wake. 

* * *

Together, we waited in Bellamy's tent. I sat, watching him pace, face constricted with worry. I knew it was no use reassuring him. Killing someone was not something to take lightly. And neither of us did. But so long as the plan worked, and I was sure it would, at least it would not be a sacrifice in vain. 

But after what felt like an eon of silence, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to do something. To make him feel better, if not myself. That was what a good girlfriend did right? Tried to comfort him after killing someone else to end a war instead of his sister? 

"You're a good brother, Bellamy," I said, smiling softly at him. It wasn't full or hearty, but I hoped it was reassuring. "I...I'm sorry that I thought I could..." 

"Kill my sister?" Bellamy finished, the hint of a smile on his face. 

I nodded solemnly. 

Bellamy sat down beside me and took my hand in his. "The truth is, if she was anybody else, I would've beat you to it." 

I ran my thumb over his. Strange how comforting the simplest of touch could be. "I don't know about that. Maybe the old Bellamy, but not this one. Suddenly I'm the one letting my heart rule my head."

Bellamy smiled. Actually smiled. My heart fluttered. So we were far from being broken. "Mama bears don't think. They just protect their young." 

I smiled wider, and kissed him on the cheek. "I wasn't just trying to protect her you know. I'll always protect you. No matter the cost." 

He leaned into me, and in the comfortable silence we just held each other. But the moment was cut short. Miller entered the tent, brandishing a gun. Octavia stormed in not but a second later. We both shot to our feet. 

"Octavia," I started, not needing to feign concern. 

"Take her," Octavia barked, glaring at me with fire in her eyes. 

Instinctively, I reached for Bellamy, but Miller intercepted me. He pulled my hands behind my back and clamped cuffs around my wrists. "You're under arrest for the murder of Kara Cooper."

Bellamy stepped forward, concern for me emanating from him. "What? No! This is insane!" 

Octavia growled, "Is it? We weren't taking the worms. The eggs are already loaded in the rover, so what was Cooper doing there?" 

Bellamy turned his gaze to me, and my eyes widened. It didn't work. They were using eggs. Everything about my plan was wrong. And now I was going to die for it. I couldn't help the terror. I couldn't hide it anymore. Not from Bellamy. 

"Careful big brother," Octavia warned. "Or I'll think you helped her, and we'd have enough prisoners to settle this in the arena." 

The prospect of Bellamy dying for my mistakes was more terrifying than me dying. I wouldn't let him put himself in danger, not for me. Especially not for this. I shook my head, pleading him not to say anything. Thankfully, he didn't. 

"Oh well," Octavia said, malice lining her words. "I guess we'll have to settle for an execution." 

I couldn't help fighting to get to Bellamy as they started to drag me away. The fear and pain in his eyes was unbearable. "Keep Madi safe! Promise me!" 

"I promise!" Bellamy replied, taking a step towards me. But he couldn't get any closer than that. He would not go down for me. I wouldn't let him. And he knew that. 

As soon as I was forced out of the tent, I let myself break down, just a little. Tears silently trailed down my face as Miller, a friend I'd been through hell with, led me to my death. I hated that it was going to end like this, slaughtered by people I thought were friends, after everything we'd been through. But I would make peace with it if it meant everyone I loved was safe. 

I just hoped Bellamy didn't do anything stupid to save me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like this chapter!! Hope you all do too!! Stay tuned for more to come!


	8. Sic Semper Tyrannis

I sat in a boiler room, chained to a pipe. I wasn't sure how long it had been since I'd been arrested. Or how long it would be until I was executed. My wrist was red and raw, irritated from tugging. I couldn't help it. Despite the inevitability of my death, I couldn't stop my fighting nature. I had to try, at least. 

When the door creaked open, I turned and stood, ignoring the stinging on my skin. Whoever it was, I refused to look weak, in pain, or fearful in the face of death. 

Indra entered, followed by Madi. When I saw her, a smile broke my face. At least they granted me a goodbye. I didn't think Octavia still had that kind of mercy in her. It was a stretch, but...maybe there was a hope for her after all. 

"Y/N!" Madi exclaimed, running towards me. 

"Madi!" I breathed a sigh of relief and enveloped her in a tight bear hug. I looked over her shoulder to see Bellamy and Clarke entering as well. Now I really couldn't stop the flow of tears. I was overjoyed to see all of them, the people I cared about most, here to say goodbye. 

"She was ready to burn this place down if she couldn't see you," Bellamy said, smiling softly at me. 

I sniffled. "Thank you for letting me say goodbye."

Bellamy frowned, and stepped closer to me. "Y/N, this isn't goodbye." 

I furrowed my eyebrows, waiting for an explanation. No way in hell was this not goodbye. 

"Octavia's sick," Madi explained. "They say she might not wake up." 

Indra stopped her, "Okay Madi that's enough. We can't risk the child being seen here. She'll be safe now. And so will you." 

Clarke gave me a tight hug before escorting Madi out. Indra pounded on the door, and the guards stationed outside let them out. Now it was just me and Bellamy. There was a different sort of somber aura hanging around him. Like he wasn't so concerned about his sister. 

I stepped towards him, as far as my chains would let me. We were only inches away. "What did you do?"

Bellamy sighed. "Monty's algae."

"Oh my god," I replied, struck with concern. I knew he would do something stupid. But so long as his sister didn't wake up, maybe he would be fine. Maybe he hadn't put himself in any danger. And if he did, then I'd chew him out when the time came. For now, I was just happy to be near him. Especially when I never thought I'd see him again. 

"As head of the army, Indra can accept Diyoza's terms for peace," Bellamy said, an inkling of hope lining his voice. "By the time Octavia wakes up, if she wakes up..."

I took his hand. "She will. You said that Murphy was fine. He didn't even have a doctor." 

Bellamy couldn't even look at me. Just the floor. I couldn't imagine the turmoil in his mind. "I poisoned my little sister, Y/N."

Gently, I pulled him closer to me, since I couldn't move closer to him. Thankfully, he seemed to appreciate the gesture. "Hey, I know this is hard. But she was willing to destroy the last survivable land on earth just to win a war. Not to mention kill the people we love."

"Well, we're almost there," Bellamy said. "Indra's about to take over for Octavia. Once Wonkru surrenders, I'll come and get you out. We'll head back to Shallow Valley together." 

I nodded, smiling softly. "Together."

Bellamy leaned in, and our lips brushed together. A sweet, parting kiss. Not a goodbye, a promise for a later. 

* * *

"Absolutely not," I said, my voice stern, when Bellamy came to visit me next. I thought it was to release me, but instead he came with the prospect of turning my child into a leader in the midst of political unrest, because they wouldn't follow Indra. Deep down, I knew he was right, that Madi was the only way to effectively end this war. But how could I do that to her? She was a kid. 

Bellamy sighed. "Y/N, you know what a Commander means to the Grounders. Six years ago, Clarke tried to force the flame on Luna. She was willing to put it in her own head to prevent a war over this bunker. How is this any different?" 

"Because I'm not Clarke!" I cried, stepping away from him. "I didn't do all that. She did! Okay? I'm...I'm not that selfless. I'm not a leader. I'll never be comparable to her! I'm scared, Bel. For me. For Madi. She's a child! I don't care how many of these people still believe in the flame! They believe in Blodreina more."

Bellamy edged towards me, as if I was a wild animal. I hated the way he was looking at me right now. "You're right. You're not comparable to Clarke. But she isn't comparable to you either. You are amazing. A warrior, a leader, a genuine soul. No one could live up to your potential, Y/N. Why do you think Madi's as strong and fearless as she is? Because  _you're_ her mother." 

I swallowed, drinking in his words. That was Bellamy. Always able to make me feel better. 

"Madi will be protected," Bellamy continued, "Gaia and I - " 

Terror swelled up in my chest once again. "What happens when Octavia wakes up?" 

"If she wakes up, we'll be in the valley, and she will see what peace is like with her own eyes and she will understand," Bellamy argued. "I know it!" 

"No. Now unchain me so we can get the hell out of here before we all get executed for treason!" I fired back, almost suffocated by the overwhelming worry. For me, for Madi, for Bellamy. I fought back the tears welling in my eyes as I stared at Bellamy, pleading. 

Bellamy took another step towards me. This time, I didn't move away. I knew he was right. As much as I hated the prospect. "Echo, Raven, Murphy, and Emori are my family. So are you. I'm doing this for all of us. I'm sorry. This is happening." 

"Don't do this Bellamy!" I pleaded, as he turned away from me, heading for the door. I chased after him, stopped short by my chains. I couldn't hide the desperation in my voice. There was no way I was going to put Madi in this position. I couldn't! "Bellamy! Please! You said you'd protect her! You said you'd keep her safe! Bellamy!" 

He glanced back at me, deep apologies in his eyes, hidden behind a loving pity. I know he loves me. I know I love him. But would this break us? If Madi turned Commander, would I forgive him for putting her in that danger? 

It was happening again. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to force out the dark thoughts crossing my mind. I was going to lose him because someone I loved just as much as him was going to die. I never thought this would have happened. Not again. Not after so many years of peace. 

The door opened, and Bellamy stepped through. 

"NO! Bellamy! Wait!" I screamed, tears raining down my face. The only consolation I had was there was no way Clarke was okay with this either. She'd find a way to stop it. She had to! Or I didn't know what was going to happen to everyone I loved. 

* * *

Every passing minute was agony. I pulled on my chains until I'd cut deep groves in my skin. Blood dripped to the floor and my wrists stung with every shift of my hands. I couldn't comprehend my own thoughts or emotions. Crippled by my mind, I took a moment to scream, cry, shout insults no one would hear. 

When I finished, my throat was hoarse, and my mind numb. All that remained was a defeated sense of worry. It was inevitable now. Madi was going to be a Commander. I believed Bellamy wouldn't force the flame on her. I knew he wouldn't. He wouldn't do that to her, or me. He was too good. But I knew he could persuade her. Because Madi was good too. And she was so incredibly protective. If becoming Commander would save me, I knew she would do it. And that terrified me. 

I sat down on the ground, pleading for the torture of waiting to be over. I needed to see someone. I needed to know what was going on. Even seeing Octavia march in here to kill me would have been better than sitting here, chained up, left in the dark. 

A few minutes later, the waiting ended. A horn blew, echoed through the bunker, across all of Polis. I knew that sound. It was the ascension call. This was it. Madi was becoming a Commander. A strange sense of peace fell over me. No sense fighting it now, as much as it dismayed me.

The door to my cell opened. Clarke entered, pissed. At least one of us still had the fire to fight. 

"We swore we'd never let Madi ascend!" She hissed at me. I wondered if she truly believed I'd  _let_ this happen. As if I could have done anything to stop it. "How could you do this?" 

"Me? Clarke, I'm pretty incapacitated at the moment. I was hoping you'd be able to do something to stop it," I replied, getting to my feet. "We have to stop this. Please." 

Clarke's rage melted away, replaced by apology. Seemed everyone was giving me that sort of look lately. I was getting sick of it. "You're not behind this." 

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Of course not! You think I want Madi, our child, ascend? No. It's Indra and Bellamy. They poisoned Octavia and now they want to replace her. Were it anyone else, I would be behind it. Wouldn't you?" 

Clarke stared at me for a moment. She pursed her lips, and turned away from me. Dismay overcame me once more. I knew she would so something to save Madi, but would she endanger the man I loved to do that? When I saw Niylah's face peeking around the doorframe, I thought maybe she would go that far. A lump rose in my throat again. Was I on the brink of losing her too? Everyone? 

"Clarke, wait!" I called after her, unable to hide the trembling in my voice. "Please! I know you're working with Niylah. I know she's loyal to Octavia. But we all want the same thing. To stop the ascension." 

Clarke turned away from me again. I closed my eyes, knowing I'd lost my last chance to appeal to her. Then, she surprised me as she always tended to do. Once the guard stepped inside to let her out, Clarke kicked him in the knees, then to the ground. Before he could get up to fight, she knocked him unconscious. She took his keys and unlocked the cuffs around my wrists. 

I smiled. "Thank you."

"You really think I'd let you die in here? After Madi, you're my only priority," Clarke said, gently pulling the cuffs off and they clattered to the ground. 

I groaned in pain when the pressure lifted. A newfound pain pulsed in the wounds, but I ignored it. I raced for the unconscious guard and grabbed his gun. "Let's save our daughter."

The horn continued blaring as Clarke, Niylah, and I raced out of the bunker and into Polis. I kept a cloak on to hide my hair and the better part of my face. If anyone noticed I was out of my cell our cover would be broken. 

"She's in there," Niylah said, nodding towards a crowd of people surrounding a fire outside of a secluded tent, the outside painted with the holy symbol of Becca Pramheda. "But the faithful are already gathering." 

I nodded. "We have to get to them before they put the flame in her head." 

I started for the crowd, but Clarke pulled me back. "No, there's too many of them. Everyone here wants this to happen." 

I stopped, and yanked my arm back. I watched the crowd, curious. There was a good amount of believers. More than I suspected. Maybe...maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. "Tell me the truth, Niylah. Will Wonkru follow a real Commander?" 

Niylah stared straight ahead. "They might. As long as Octavia holds power Madi won't be safe. And I'm afraid our true believers have all the guns."

I didn't really wait for her to finish her sentence. If Madi wasn't safe, then I had to make sure she was. Stopping Madi's ascension wouldn't do that. Keeping Octavia out of power? That would. I raced through Polis and back down into the bunker. I kicked open the door to Octavia's chambers, seething with rage. 

I laid my eyes on her, weakly getting to her feet. Despite her body failing her, there was an intense hate in her eyes. For me. Fine. I'd reciprocate it.

"Y/N, what are you doing here?" Indra barked. "Get out!" 

I aimed the stolen gun at Octavia. Part of me was screaming to stop. If I killed Octavia, Bellamy wouldn't be able to look at me without being sick to his stomach. But if that's what it took to save Madi, to save all our friends in the valley, to save everyone and stop this war, I could bear to have him hate me. 

"She's here to kill me," Octavia growled, glaring at me with not only disdain but also some respect. As if she thought I didn't have it in me. 

I gripped tighter to the gun. "I can't let anything happen to Madi." 

"I am surprised," Octavia said, stepping towards me. Indra shot me a warning glance. I hated to disappoint her like this, but I had to do something more. "Kane I knew would've thought this through. You kill me, my people kill you. Madi still ascends. They come after her. It's lose-lose. Or, we can both win." 

"What is this nonsense?" Indra implored. 

I narrowed my eyes at her, not wavering. "What are you talking about?" 

"The only person who wants Madi to be Commander less than me, is you," Octavia said. Her offer hung in the air. It was tempting. Take Madi, and run. I wouldn't have to kill Octavia. Bellamy wouldn't hate me. But I would always be running. And Madi would be unhappy. That was the last thing I wanted. 

"No. I won't let you win. Not after everything you've done. After everything you've been willing to do!" I said, my stance wavering. The gun shook in my hands. 

"I'll do it." 

Clarke's voice echoed behind me. In my shock, the gun fired, a hairs-width away from hitting Octavia. I dropped the gun, astonished. Shit. I almost killed her. Like for real. I almost killed my friend. Or someone I once considered a friend. My heart pounded as Octavia glared at me, fire in her eyes. 

"What?" I said, staring at Clarke. "You're going to just run away from this?" 

"To keep Madi safe, yes. I thought you of all people would understand," Clarke said. 

"I did, I do, but...Clarke, please. We have to fight. For Madi's sake." 

"Y/N, you know this is how we keep her safe. It's..." 

I glared at her. "If you say it's the only choice, I will punch you in the face. It's not." 

Octavia barked, "It is now. I'd take the time you have to say goodbye to your child, Kane. Because you just committed treason." 

She looked pointedly at the gun on the floor. I glanced at Clarke, but she was no help. So I was alone, here. Fine. Let it be that way then. I shoved past Clarke and stormed back up to the surface. She wasn't far behind me, and congregated a group of guards behind her. As much as I was disappointed in her taking the deal, that faded with every step I took. And when I entered the tent to find Madi unconscious, it faded altogether. Getting her out, away from this hell was what she deserved. 

Guards entered after me, pointing guns at Bellamy and Gaia. Bellamy held his hands up, but part of me thought it was more for me than the weapons aimed at him. He was sorry. Whatever. I understood why he did it. And I would protect him for whatever shit his stupid decision got him into, even if I was still furious with him. But first, Madi had to be safe. She had to be with Clarke.

I intentionally shoved into Bellamy's shoulder to get to my child. He let me. 

"Can we get it out?" I asked, kneeling down beside Madi, lip trembling. What if the Flame killed her? I had to get it out. I had to save her! 

"No!" Gaia warned. "The Flame is bonding with her mind. If you take it out now before it's complete, she may never wake up." 

I sniffled and brushed a hair away from her forehead before planting a kiss. "Okay. I guess we've got a Commander."

"Quiet, traitor!" Octavia barked. "Clarke, do it."

I exchanged a teary-eyed glance with Clarke and shook my head. She couldn't seem to make up her mind. 

"If you kill this child," Gaia said, intercepting Clarke, staring down Octavia, "you make her a martyr. You weaken yourself even more." 

Clarke turned to Octavia. "I can't."

I breathed a sigh of relief and blinked away a tear.

Octavia's gaze rolled over all of us, before barking an order. "Take them to the rover. Go."

"No," Gaia protested. 

"O-" Bellamy said, stepping towards his sister. Everyone shifted their guns to him. 

One of the guards lifted Madi in his arms and headed outside the tent. Clarke followed after, shooting me a goodbye look. Instinctively, I moved to go after her, after those who had been my only family for six years, but the guards stopped me. At least Madi would be safe. Now I had to worry about Bellamy. And myself. 

"Arrest the traitors," Octavia commanded. 

I fought with what little fire I had left. I made a point especially of kicking Miller in the gut. I was pissed he'd turned into her lackey. Where was the independent fighter I'd known before? Gone. She'd broken all of them. Well, I'd be damned if she could break me. 

But there were too many for me to fight. I cried out as metal cuffs clamped down on my already bloody wrists. The guards led me, Bellamy, and Gaia out of the tent and down into the bunker for holding. They separated us. So I was left alone in chains once again. 

A few hours later, they came to collect me. For my execution no doubt. I fought, getting in a good kick to the groin and a few low insults before they silenced me with a gag and tightened my chains. They led me into the arena of the bunker and forced me to my knees. Beside me, Indra and Gaia were tied up. On my other side, Bellamy knelt, gagged and in chains. I hated seeing him like that. I looked at him, trying to tell him I forgave him for his decision about Madi. In the face of death, I had to make peace with everything in my life. Especially him. 

Octavia entered, silencing the jeers and taunts of everyone on the other side of the fence. She stopped in front of the four of us, glaring. I made sure to put as much fiery defiance in my eyes. I was sure to let her know she would not, could not, break me. Not now, not ever. 

"The nightblood child did not recite the lineage, and is, therefore, not the true Commander," Octavia announced, snuffing out all hope for a new leader, for the end of a war. "Instead, she ran, abandoning all of us like a coward. She is not Wonkru. She is an enemy of Wonkru. And like all our enemies, she will be dealt with. But first...first we have a war to win." 

The crowd cheered.  _Gon Blodreina_. I curled my hands into fists. They would always stand behind her. 

Octavia strode away from us, up to her throne, safe behind the fence. I glared up at her intently. I swore I saw a tear trailed down her face. But it had to be a trick of the light. If she was sentencing her own brother to death, a brother who had done so much for her, then there was no humanity left in her. 

My friend was gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a shorter chapter, but I liked writing it!! Also I saw Spiderman Far From Home, and I'm shook. It was so trippy and so good!! I love Tom Holland. I'm pissed about the ending, and if you've seen it you know why. Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter!! Stay tuned for more!


	9. The Warriors Will

I stared up at the plain ceiling, completely numb. Octavia declared that we'd be fighting in the pits. Worse than an execution. Bellamy's life was at risk. And I couldn't handle that. He was my last priority, the last one I had to make sure stayed safe. Clarke and Madi were who knew where, far from Octavia's radar. My father and the rest of my friends were captive in the valley, but at least they were in the valley. Monty and Harper were too kind to make enemies here. 

It was just Bellamy who I had to protect now. And then I could be done. After today, I'd be done. 

I closed my eyes, trying not to think about how the last time I'd see the man I loved would be in an arena in which we were supposed to kill each other. 

The door opened with a creak, and I turned my head to see Octavia entering. Alone. 

"Well, this ought to be good," I muttered, turning my attention back to the ceiling. 

Octavia hovered above me. "You'll be happy to know that the worms are gone. Clarke took them along with the usurper you tried to replace me with." 

"You mean my daughter who I wanted to have no part in any of this." I sat up, turning to face Octavia, too tired to be feral with anger right now. Instead, it sat simmering in my stomach. "Why are you here? Why would you consort with a Kane? A bloodline you clearly think is traitorous. First my father, and now me. You are not the person I remember." 

"Neither are you," Octavia replied, her voice cool and collected. Just like her to be so emotionless right now. "I'm here to help you save Bellamy's life. You love him. So do I. And I'm not prepared to lose my brother." 

I crossed my arms. "I don't need your help. I'm just as good a warrior as you. And I'll fight until my last dying breath to save him. From anything. Including you." 

Octavia paced around me, clearly agitated. Good to know I could crack her stony exterior, get under her skin. "Indra has a weakness. Her shoulder never healed from the bullet Pike put in her." 

"So you came here to help me kill the woman who made you who you are?" I said, impressed by the lengths of her mercilessness. 

Octavia tilted her head, flexed her fingers. "I love Indra. I do. But she's not my blood. Bellamy is. Now make her take the hammer. It's too heavy to wield with one arm. That means you need to get the sword." 

"Octavia, would you listen to yourself?" 

"Gaia will go for the staff and you'll worry about her after you take out Indra," Octavia continued, ignoring me. "Tell me you understand." 

I sighed. "I do. Because I know him. And I know he won't fight."

"Everybody fights." 

"Have you had a conversation about this with Bellamy yet?" I pushed, rising to my full height, trying to be as intimidating as I possibly could. It was nearly enough to match that of the Red Queen's. "Because you might want to before you lose him forever. After everything you've become, I'm not sure he'll look past it." 

"Choose your words carefully," Octavia warned, flickers of longing and misery crossing her gaze. She wanted her brother to live. That was all that mattered to her. 

"Or what?" I challenged. "You'll kill me? Because I'm the only thing that's going to keep Bellamy alive. And then I'm going to die anyway. Goodbye, Octavia. I hope...I hope someday you understand the lengths of the monster you've become." 

With that, I lay down on the bench again, and resumed my blank stare. Just as she was about to leave, I cleared my throat. She paused. 

"But, Octavia? Thank you for the information. I won't let Bellamy die today. I promise."

The door shut, leaving me alone with my thoughts. 

When the door opened again, it was two guards. I didn't move. I let them yank me to my feet and lead me to the arena. They opened a gate and pushed me inside a room, the other end which opened up into the arena. Behind me, they closed the gate again. 

Everyone else was already there. I took a place between Bellamy and Indra. In the privacy of this quiet moment before our fight to the death, I interlocked my fingers with Bellamy's. My heart pounded in my chest as the prospect of him dying today crossed my mind. Exhaling slowly, I took control of my fear. 

"What happens if we don't fight?" Bellamy asked, breaking the tense silence. 

"It's been tried," Indra replied, her voice taut. "You get executed." 

Bellamy nodded. "Good. Means she'll have to do it herself if she can." 

"After all this, you still think that because you're her brother, she won't kill you?" Gaia asked. 

"I have to," he replied. 

I shook my head. "That's too much of a risk, Bel." 

"Let's hope we don't have to find out," Gaia murmured, before stepping out into the arena. 

Bellamy turned to me, cupping my face in his hands. "Don't fight. I don't want to lose you." 

I swallowed over the lump forming in my throat. I whispered in his ear, "You will, Bel. You will be the last. I'll be sure of it. I love you." 

We pressed our foreheads together, and then shared a long, tender kiss. The last one we ever would. Tears rolled down my cheeks, hot and heavy, mingling between our lips. I pulled away, and watch Bellamy step out into the arena. 

Now, it was just me and Indra. A woman I respected, trusted, cared about, I was going to have to kill today. Because she would not hesitate to kill either of us to save her daughter. 

"He might be right," Indra said, staring forwards. "She might not execute me or Bellamy. But you? Gaia? I'll kill you quickly, I promise." 

I appreciated the sentiment, and told myself I'd return the favor. A quick ending for both of us. We stepped into the arena, with Gaia and Bellamy. Faces stared at us from behind the fence, intrigued, thirty for a fight. I hated to die as someone's entertainment. But if I had to, I would. 

The door closed behind us, blocking any means of escape. Octavia rose from her throne, face adorned with bloody hand prints. She always was the dramatic sort. I stared up at Miller who stood by her side. Something like sorrow emanated behind his feeble facade. Good. I hoped he wasn't loyal enough to her that he could see the fault in this. That this would hurt. That my death would hurt. 

"We gather here today to remind ourselves what happens to the enemies of Wonkru," Octavia said. "It doesn't matter who you are. If you choose sides against us, if you divide us, if you defy us, then you are not us. Before we give these traitors a second chance to be called brother, sister, or seda, we pay tribute to those who have died so that we might live. Omon gon oson." 

The crowd repeated her. I eyed the arena, searching for the weapons. The sword caught my attention. I would take Octavia's advice to heart. I was not going to lose Bellamy today. 

"Be the last," Octavia said. 

As soon as the order left her lips, Gaia jumped into action. She kicked Indra in the knee and raced for the weapons. While they were distracted, put on a show for everyone, I snatched up the sword. Bellamy remained still as a rock, staring up at his sister. I jumped into the fray, fighting between Indra and Gaia. I haven't done anything like this in years. Sparring with Clarke was one thing. A battle to the death was another. It was invigorating. Reminded me of the warrior I used to be, the one who fought to save her people from Mount Weather, from Alie, who sacrificed herself for her friends in Praimfaya. 

Adrenaline coursed through my veins, lighting me with a power I hadn't known I'd missed. This is who I was meant to be, who I was deep down. Someone who loved to fight, to protect, to die with honor. 

I fought two fronts at once. I ducked as Indra swung her weapon towards my head. In the process, I managed to get in a good cut to Gaia on her arm, incapacitating it. With the hilt of my sword, I rammed Gaia in the gut, then swept my leg under her knees. She crashed to the ground, knocking her head against the floor. She went unconscious. 

I turned to face Indra, who had a fire in her eyes that terrified me. I was reminded of the vengeful woman who cut me deep to pay for the lives lost in Tondc. The sudden memory was jarring, filled me with panic. For just a moment, I was disoriented. But it was enough. Just as I was beginning to recover, Indra sliced me in the leg, then brought the butt of her weapon down on my face. I screamed in pain, clutching at my leg as searing agony shot across the wound. Hot, sticky blood dripped from my nose and mouth. 

Indra stepped on my hand and kicked the sword from my grip. I thought she promised me a quick death. Either she lied, or she was giving a show. And I hadn't known Indra to do much of either. 

My vision swam when she kicked me in the head. Everything went fuzzy. Sounds were muffled. But I knew that while I was down, she was going to go after Bellamy. And I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't die until she did. 

Gritting my teeth, breathing through the pain, I crawled for my sword. As soon as it was in my hand, I shook my head clear and clambered to my feet. Indra and Bellamy were locked in a fight. At least he'd had the sense to grab a weapon, to defend himself. I would take care of the rest. 

Indra cut Bellamy across the arm with her spear, and knocked him to the ground with the pole end. Seeing him hurt was enough to make me forget any pain I might have been feeling. Grunting with rage, I jumped in front of her spear, catching it with my sword. I pushed back with all my strength until she relented. I didn't leave time for her to begin attacks. If I was on the offense instead of defense I could get the upperhand. I could win. I  _would_ win. 

I fought with vehemence, striking where I could, when I could, using every technique I'd ever been taught. When Indra left an opening, I got to it. Finally, I managed to grapple the spear from her hands and toss it across the arena. Bellamy was on his feet by then, but so was Gaia. She scooped up the spear, joining the fray. It wasn't long before I realized she wasn't fighting to kill us. 

"Spirit of the Commanders guide my hand," she murmured in Trigedasleng. Then she aimed the spear up at Octavia. Bellamy screamed in protest and tackled her to the ground, throwing off her balance. 

The arena went silent. Dead silent. Everyone turned to Octavia. The spear impaled in her throne, just barely missing her. I panted, wiped some sweat and blood from my face, waiting for something to happen. Octavia pulled the spear out and narrowed her eyes at Gaia. 

"I said, be the last." Octavia tossed the spear back into the arena. 

Indra dove for it, and turned the point towards Bellamy. I leaped in front of him, catching the pointed end of her spear with my sword. 

"Stop!" Monty's voice echoed across the arena, catching all of our attention. I turned to see him entering the floor of the arena, Harper behind him. She was jamming the door so no one could enter to take any of us away. 

"Monty stop!" I cried, fearing for his life. I couldn't protect him too, not in here. "Get out of here!" 

"Guards, take him away!" Octavia ordered. 

Monty turned up to the crowd. "Octavia told you we have to march, that we have to fight for the one place left where we can survive! But she knows that's not true!" 

I tilted my head, curious. What was he talking about? I mean, I wasn't surprised Octavia was keeping something from us, but what? 

"Monty you do not belong in here," Octavia cautioned. 

Monty pulled the cloth off of the object he held in his hands to reveal a healthy batch of blossoms. My eyes widened. "The hydrofarm is working again! Soon, it'll be processing enough food to feed all of us, here! Using the same techniques, we can grow crops in the wasteland. Ask Octavia. She's seen it with her own eyes."

Murmurs rippled through the crowd. Hope. If what Monty was saying was true, and I believed it was, then that changed everything. We didn't have to have a war. We could live here, we could be safe, happy. All we'd have to do was get our friends and family back from the valley. The idea was euphoric. 

"Go to war if you want to!" Monty continued. "But at least tell them that they have a choice!" 

Octavia was silent, glaring. Then, a chant took up.  _Nou Blodreina nowe!_ _Blodreina no more!_

They tore down the fence caging us in, jumped into the arena with us. I couldn't help the flutter of hope in my chest. Octavia was defeated. At least, for now. I didn't have to fight in this arena, I didn't have to kill anyone. 

Indra extended her hand to me, and I gladly accepted it. "You fought well." 

I nodded. "You too." 

I turned to Monty, beaming. "You nerdy genuis. God, I could kiss you. I won't, but I could! You saved us, Monty! You did it!" 

Monty smiled back, but it faded when he looked up. "Where'd she go?" 

Octavia was gone. I didn't take that as a very good sign. No, she was too lustful for that valley, for the war to just let it go like this. She was up to something.  I grabbed Bellamy's hand and pulled him through the bunker, the others not far behind us. My leg screamed in protest with every step that I took but I had to make sure. I had to make sure she wasn't doing something irrational. We stopped in a secure room. 

"We have to find her!" 

"Why?" Monty asked. "She didn't shoot us, that has to mean something, right?"

"It means she lost the battle, not the war," Indra replied, as if reading my mind. "We should split up, but be careful. There are people here that would give their lives for Blodreina." 

She barely finished speaking when an alarm blared throughout the bunker. My stomach twisted. That couldn't mean anything good. 

"What's that?" I asked, fearing the answer. 

Indra explained, "The fire alarm."

Monty's eyes widened. "The hydrofarm."

We all raced through the bunker towards the farm, fearing the worst. Octavia was bloodthirsty, but she wasn't stupid. Not that stupid, was she? Then again, she was obsessed. And obsession led to worse. That sinking feeling was confirmed when we got to the hydrofarm to find it ablaze. 

"NO!" Monty cried, looking on, dismayed. "What did you do?"

Octavia turned to us, challenge sparking in her ruthless eyes. 

"Took away the choice," I breathed, my throat tight. 

"You still have one," Octavia countered. "Stay here and die, or march with me and live."

I balled my hands into fists. This was horrendous. But now, there was no good choice. Only one that had a chance. March with her, and maybe  _maybe_ we could live. 

In the morning, we gathered in Polis, readying to march. I hefted my pack onto my shoulders, keeping all my weight on one leg. I'd patched it up pretty well, but it still hurt like a bitch. 

"We got rations here for everyone!" Miller announced. "Six days worth! That's enough to make it to the valley! Move out!" 

I passed Indra in my search for Bellamy. We clasped hands.

"A warriors death awaits," Indra said, nodding at me respectfully. 

I smiled, and then she joined up in the army. I lingered behind, waiting to be filtered out so I could find my friends better. There they were, at the back, sitting on a ledge. Monty turned over a tube of his algae in his palms. I knew how much the burning farm hurt him. More than any of us. I hated that he'd been so close to saving us, and the chance was destroyed. 

I handed him and Harper each a pack. "Ready?" 

Harper nodded and accepted the pack. Monty, on the other hand, barely looked at me. 

I sighed. "Come on. Our family's waiting." 

Monty took the pack from me and stood. I hadn't spent six years with him in space, but he was my family whether he liked it or not. And so were the others in the valley. I wasn't about to let Octavia's war hurt any of them. Monty included. That meant he had to come, so I could protect him. 

I interlocked my fingers with Bellamy's, staggering a little with every step. He kissed my cheek. 

"Are you sure you can walk?" He asked, concerned. 

I nodded. "I have to. If I don't, I'll die." 

He squeezed my hand. "You know I'd never leave you behind." 

I smiled and leaned into him. "Yeah. That's what I'm most afraid of. If I get left behind, you keep moving, Bel. I can't have you dying for me. Not now, not ever."

I pulled him along before he could argue the fact. We took up the rear of the army. I couldn't help holding on tight to Bellamy's hand as we marched through the ruins of Polis. I feared the valley would end up looking just like this when we were finished with it. Maybe Jasper had the right idea. Wherever we went, destruction followed. 

And we were sure to leave death in our wake in the coming days. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What?? Another chapter today? I'm going wild with inspiration right now IDK what it is. Hope y'all are enjoying!!


	10. The Dark Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all pardon my trig in this chapter lmao. Very rusty, and mostly going off of phonetics.

Sweltering heat bore down on us as we trekked through the sand. We were a few days in to our hike towards the valley and my feet hurt more than they ever had before. Under all my layers to protect from the sun, I was sweating profusely. Dirt streaked across my face. Exhaustion gnawed at my bones. Only the promise of saving my friends and seeing my home again kept me going. I kept in step with Bellamy, Monty, and Harper the whole time. Better to keep good company on a tiring futile march to war. 

Halfway through the day, as I was ready for a rest and some water, my radio crackled and Echo's voice came through. 

"Kane, ola, kamita dendrop yumi," she said.  _Kane,_ _come in if you can hear me._

I exchanged a glance with Bellamy and the four of us stepped to the side, away from the prying ears of the Wonkru army. I raised the radio to my mouth. "Echo..." 

Harper put a hand on my arm. "Wait, she's speaking Trig for a reason." 

I nodded. "Oukom trig? Chi skechi?"  _Why trig? What's wrong?_

"Ogedum bilaik os komba raun," Echo explained. "Yu dun draupa shinof." 

_They know you're coming. You've lost the element of surprise._

My stomach plummeted. "They know we're coming." 

Monty furrowed his eyebrows. "Clarke?" 

Around the radio, my knuckles went white. Clench it any harder, and I might have broken it. "It had to be. Echo  _sen ai op - "_

"Y/N, if Clarke's on their side, she speaks Trig too," Harper warned. 

Echo continued in trig, "You have to go back. We have their pilot so you're safe for now. But you can't come here."

"Not possible," I replied, my throat tightening. This did not bode well. We had nothing behind us and certain death ahead of us. How the hell was I going to  fight my way out of this one? "It's a long story, but we can't go back. And we can't stop. We're five days out. You have that long to find us a safe way in. After that, we're out of rations."

There was a pause, before Echo replied, "We're on it. "

Then my dad's voice crackled through. "Be safe."

I smiled, gripping tight to the radio. Soon, I would see him. After this war, everything would be fine. "You too. Over and out."

I tucked the radio away and exchanged a weary glance with my friends. The only way to stop this was to appeal to what little humanity was left in Octavia. I knew she was still in there somewhere. I had to believe that, or by the end of the week, we would all be dead. I grabbed Bellamy's hand and pushed through the ranks to Miller. My friend was still in him there too. For now, he was just a twisted loyal soldier. Someday, I had faith he'd be the person I knew.

He took our weapons and stepped ahead to let Octavia know we wanted to talk with her. After a minute, Miller nodded at us and we stepped past the front line to Octavia's side. 

"You're marching us into a massacre," Bellamy said, as soon as we fell in step with his sister. Always so straightforward. I guess that was alright. Better than beating around the bush. Especially with her. 

"We'll see," she replied, unfazed. 

"Echo radioed," he continued. "Your enemy knows you're coming. We don't need to worry about the missiles, but they're moving their weapons into position." 

"It's safe to assume that since there's only three realistic ways into the valley, that all three will be heavily defended," I said, desperately trying to reason with her.

"Echo's scouting now, looking for the best way in," Bellamy continued, when Octavia remained silent. "But since we have no way back because you burned the farm, and since we can't stop because we'll starve, we thought we should let you know that you've killed your people."

"Bellamy," I said, sighing. I was just as emotionally invested in this as he was, but he was always one to let his heart get the better of him. Frustrating as it was, that was one of the things I loved most about him. 

Bellamy scoffed when Octavia didn't so much as throw him a sideways glance. "Enjoy your walk." 

He fell behind, leaving me alone with Octavia. Eventually, I fell behind to. There was nothing more I could say. Octavia now had the same information I did. What she chose to do with it was up to her. And I doubted Blodreina was going to back down. 

* * *

Finally, night fell and we set up camp to rest. I relished in the time to stretch out my aching limbs and nibbled on some stale food. After I'd rested for a minute and set up a tent with Bellamy we gathered nerve and headed for the only guarded tent in our encampment - Octavia's. 

The guards stopped us as we approached, but Bellamy shouted loud enough that Octavia allowed us entry. 

Immediately, my eyes fell on the map they had spread over the table in the center of her tent. "You don't need that." 

"The spy found us a way in?" Octavia inquired. 

Bellamy nodded. "Yes." 

Miller ordered everybody out, leaving just us and Octavia. I leaned on the table, staring down Octavia. I knew Bellamy wanted to do this himself, but we were better as a team. And I didn't want him to put himself even more at risk. At least, not alone. 

"Before I tell you this, we need to set some things straight," I said, keeping my voice low and firm. 

Octavia raised an eyebrow. "I'm listening."

"This war that you're so anxious for is about to be fought on the last survivable land on earth." I crossed my arms, trying to keep my cool. I couldn't help the fiery bitterness seeping out. "That is monumentally stupid. But it's here. And in four days, when we march on that valley, we are gonna fight this the right way."

She steeled her features, challenging me. "Does the right way end up with us winning?"

I glanced at Bellamy, who took up the conversation. She'd be more likely to comply if it came from somebody she didn't see as a traitor. Or close to it, anyway. "It ends with us accepting the other side's surrender. Once they lay down their arms, we share the valley  _with_ them. No executions. No fighting pits. Real peace."

Octavia glanced between us, something like sympathy flashing in her eyes. There it was. That sliver of humanity trying to surface. "Believe it or not, I want that too." 

Bellamy's hands tightened around the edge of the table. "I wish I believed that."

Silence fell, as we stood off from each other. Finally, to my surprise, Octavia relented. "Fine, I accept your terms. Now tell me how to win this war."

I nodded. "Indra has the details." 

"Bellamy!" Octavia called after us as we turned to leave. "This is how it was meant to be. You and me. Fighting side by side."

Something faded in Bellamy. The candle he held for his sister blew out. "I'm not fighting for you." He glanced at me, and interlocked his fingers with mine. "I'm fighting to get back to my family."

With that, he turned and tugged me out of the tent. I glanced over my shoulder at Octavia and I could have sworn I saw tears welling in her eyes. It seemed Bellamy meant the world to her. And her entire world had just shattered. Whether that would help us or hurt us, I didn't know. But I hoped Octavia didn't spin out of control. 

I headed back to my shared tent with Bellamy and collapsed onto my bed. He sat on the edge, knee bouncing, staring straight ahead. I sighed and sat up. 

"This'll work, Bel," I murmured, running a hand through his hair. 

He turned to me, eyes glistening with tears. My heart fell. I knew how hard all this was for him. Both of us had lost our sisters. Metaphorically, on my part, of course, but that didn't mean the pain hurt any less. My lip trembled. I couldn't stand to see him like this. Hoping to ease some of his pain, take some of his burden, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled his head into the crook of my neck. 

As he let out all his pain, I gently ran my fingers through his curls and softly hummed a tune my mother always sang for me when I was upset. It was what I used to lull Madi into sleep. I missed her. 

I rested my chin on top of Bellamy's head and held him close to me. A silent tear slipped down my face. I brushed it away. Right now, I had to be the strong one for Bel. At the very least, I owed him that. 

The next morning, we woke and promptly took down our tent. For the next few days, all we did was walk, sleep, and exchange a few dry jokes. Every step I took brought me nearer to my home, nearer to a battle that I didn't know if I'd walk away from. Everyone I cared about could die in that valley. 

Dread grew more powerful, more nauseating when we made our final camp. We were near the valley. Half of us would march into it. Tomorrow, the battle would begin. For now, I sat around a crackling fire with Bellamy, rubbing sand between my fingers. 

"Hey guys," Monty's voice pulled me from my thoughts, from the hypnotic flames. I turned and smiled solemnly at him. He took a seat beside me, and pulled apart his rations into thirds, offering a piece to Bellamy and me. "Last of the rations."

With a kind gaze, I accepted the generous offer. So did Bellamy. For a moment, we all chewed in silence. I was grateful to have something to satiate the grumbling in my stomach, to give me strength for tomorrow. I'd already finished my rations early in the morning. 

"Look," Monty said, breaking the silence. "If you want us with you at the front - " 

I shook my head. "No. We got this. You stay. They're leaving the tents here. Once the fight is over tomorrow, you'll come and join us." 

"I told Octavia we'd take eighty acres," Bellamy explained. "On the eastern edge of the valley. Grow something other than algae, okay?" 

Smiles broke out across all our faces. Genuine smiles. I put my arms around both of them, pulling them into a warm hug. Hopefully, not a goodbye hug. 

As the night drew on, we headed for Octavia's tent to gather some intel, find a way to make it through the next day alive. 

"According to Diyoza, at the first sign of attack," Bellamy said, pointing at a map of the valley, "McCreary's forces at point B and C will converge to reinforce A thinking that's where we're coming though."

"Leaving the other two doors wide open," Octavia said. 

I nodded. "We'll come through here, point C. Now, if we time it right, and we move fast, there won't be any resistance." 

Indra added on, "Once we're in the woods, we take the village."

"Once we're in the woods, we win," Miller finished. 

"Okay," said Kara, one of the Grounders who'd replaced Cooper. "I'll tell my people." 

Miller scoffed, turning to her. Tension shot through the roof, suffocating, just like that. "Your people?" 

Indra interrupted, "Save it for the enemy. Spread the word. We go at first light." 

Octavia turned to me. "Tell Echo I said well done." 

I shrugged. "You can tell her yourself in two hours."

Everyone left. I lingered for a moment, though unsure why. I didn't know why I still held onto hope for Octavia. I spun my ring around my finger, studying the conflict of emotions in her eyes. She can always keep her face like stone, but the eyes always betray. 

I turned away, not sure what to say to her. To my surprise, she called out after me. 

"It'll all be worth it. Once we're in the valley, everything we had to do to get there, it'll make sense," Octavia said. "You'll see."

I pursed my lips. "Doesn't sound like it's me you're trying to convince." 

I had no idea what the dark year was about, what happened those six years under-ground, but it twisted Octavia in all the wrong ways. I hoped someday she would recover from it. For now, I turned my back on her, and slipped out of the tent to spend some time with the man I loved before we fought the battle of our lives. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short and took forever to get out!! Got inspiration for my novel and have been working on getting around my plot-hole in that! Anyways, stay tuned as there's more to come!!


	11. Damocles I

Wind whistled around us, filling the unnerving silence. I gripped tight to the rifle in my hands, trying to keep my breaths and footsteps as silent as possible. For an army, we were astonishingly stealthy. All the better. If things continued to go this well, maybe everything would turn out fine. 

Half crouching, I jogged ahead of Octavia, hugging the wall of the valley canal. I peered through the scope of my rifle around the corner. I smiled. 

"Two pillboxes," I relayed. "Just like Echo said." 

To our right, machine gun fire echoed across the valley. I glanced over my shoulder to see the sparks of bullets in the snow-covered hills. 

"That's our signal," Octavia murmured. 

Ignoring the gunshots and the worry itching at the back of my mind, I kept my attention trained on the pillboxes. Thankfully, the guards stationed at them were high tailing it out of there, to follow the sounds of the fight. 

I turned back to Bellamy and Octavia. "It's working. They're moving out."

Octavia raised her sword and marched on forwards through the valley. Everyone followed. I gripped tight to my weapon, trying to ignore the unease sinking in my stomach. I looked up at the top of the ridges, searching for someone hiding. I didn't have a good feeling about this. I already hated the idea of marching on my home, but the sheer silence in the valley was unsettling. Bellamy was just as tense beside me. Maybe even more so. 

"You did your best to stop this," Indra murmured from behind us, in an effort to reassure us. It didn't work. "In the end if we have to fight it's better to win."

I pursed my lips, keeping my gaze trained forwards. A few moments later, gunfire echoed across the valley, taking down several of our army. Octavia screamed for us to attack, but I didn't need her to tell me to. I fired my gun every time I saw movement on the ridge. I took down two but that was hardly enough. I ran through the gunfire, ducking for cover just in time. A huge blast rocked the earth, sending debris and our army flying through the air. Several were silenced on impact. 

I sucked in a breath through my teeth and clenched even tighter to my weapon. I didn't have many rounds left. I couldn't find Bellamy. All I could do was fire as much as I could from behind the rock I used as a shield. 

"Retreat!" Someone screamed. "Head back to the camp!" 

"No!" Octavia shouted, her voice barely audible against the raging gunfire and screams of agony. "Advance! It's the only way!" 

I groaned internally at myself and rushed back into the fray. I couldn't let Octavia die. Even after everything she'd done. I didn't want her to get hurt. That kid I knew years ago was buried in there somewhere. She just needed to be saved. 

At the same time I rushed out to help Octavia, Bellamy was pulling on her arm, trying to get her to retreat. Before I could register anything else, a monstrous blast from that canon-like weapon our enemies carried erupted on the ground in front of us. The explosion sent my flying through the air. I crashed to the ground a few yards away.

Pain erupted in my chest, stealing the breath from my lungs. I gasped and coughed up a mouthful of bloody sand. My vision doubled. Everything was muffled. Blood dripped from my nose. I focused on my breathing until it didn't feel like I was a floundering fish. I tried to ignore the fact that I'd probably broken a rib and instead focused on looking for Bellamy. For a moment, panic overcame me as I couldn't find him. It exacerbated when I finally did, only to see he was motionless beside his sister. 

I clawed my way towards him, breathing through the pain, blinking away tears, trying not to retch at seeing so many of Wonkru lifeless. It seemed to take an eon before I reached them, but finally I did. Bellamy was still. I swallowed over the lump forming in my throat. Gently, I nudged him. He didn't move. Blood streaked his face. I was getting worried. 

"Bellamy," I whispered, shaking him a little harder. He remained still. I breathed through my panic. "Bellamy. C'mon. I can't lose you."

Silence.

"Damnit, Blake, wake up!" I tried to keep my voice as low as possible but I couldn't help it. My heart pounded so hard I thought it was going to explode. Thankfully, his eyes fluttered open. I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank god." 

He put his hand over mine, but otherwise didn't move much more. He glanced around, at the shooters still positioned above us. I followed his gaze, to one of Wonkru stirring. She got to her feet, scrambling for safety, only to be instantly shot down, and drop to the ground. 

I swallowed nervously, and pressed my cheek into the dirt as if I could melt into it. "The second we move we're dead."

Another tried to get up and run for it, only to be shot down. I squeezed my eyes shut. This sucked. Beside Bellamy, his sister began to stir. Thankfully, she kept still. We watched in horror, unable to do anything as more and more stragglers attempted to run. 

"This is your fault," Bellamy hissed. 

"We are not doing this right now," Octavia said, her voice taut. 

Bellamy ignored her. "Some of your army must have made it back to the wasteland, but they won't last long without food or water."

"I have to get to them," Octavia replied. "You lay down, covering fire, and we run."

Bellamy shook his head, just barely. "O, I lost my weapon. We have to wait until it's dark. Once we make it back, we get the radio, and we surrender."

Silence. Octavia still wouldn't relent. Even after all of this bloodshed. 

"We can't win," I added, peering over Bellamy's head at her. She didn't spare me a glance. "But we can still save our people." 

"Nothing is over!" Octavia argued. "Your intel was bad. But at least we know what we're up against."

Irritation flared in my chest. This was not the way to do things. Slaughter was not the same as fighting. "Octavia, no one will follow you. This is your fault. Not mine. Not Bellamy's. You led them here. You burnt their farm and you made them march. These people are dead because of you."

Octavia's hands curled into fists, and she glared at me. She reared back, ready to fight me on the ground, but Bellamy pulled her back down. 

"Don't move!" He warned.

"What are they doing?" She murmured, staring forwards at some of Wonkru getting to their feet, their hands in the air. 

"Please!" One cried. "We give up!" 

My eyes widened. Through clenched teeth, I called, "Get down! Get down!" 

They didn't. Their pleas for mercy were answered with gunshots. All three of them collapsed to the ground, dead. 

Octavia stared at them with gaunt eyes. "So much for surrender."

I squeezed my eyes shut and wrapped my fingers around Bellamy's. I exhaled slowly, trying to calm the panic in my nerves. Move and we die. We literally couldn't do anything until dark. And the waiting was killing me. I itched to get up, to try to do something, anything. Lying in the gorge was the worst. I let my mind wander, reliving pleasant memories to distract me from the mind numbing waiting.

Finally, the sun slipped below the horizon. As darkness crept closer, energy revved in my body, ready to make a run for it. Ready to fight for my life. A spotlight swept across the gorge, searching for stragglers. Every time it shone on us, my stomach dropped, as if somehow they'd find out we were still alive after all these hours. 

"Okay," Bellamy whispered. "It's dark enough. Next time it passes, we go."

Tense silence fell over us as the light hit us again. The moment it left our backs, we leaped to our feet and bolted. Ten seconds later, when the light circled back, I dove to the ground. The next time it left us, Bellamy and I ran, but Octavia didn't. Instead she grabbed a rifle. 

"What are you doing?" Bellamy hissed. 

"We'll never make it past those lights!" Octavia replied, aiming the rifle. "Grab a rifle. There's one right there!"

I was annoyed, but not surprised. I wasn't sure she thought running was viable. Or in her nature. Not anymore. Bellamy grabbed her arm, tried to drag her away.

"As soon as you pull that trigger, we're dead," Bellamy countered, trying ever harder to pull her away. "Come on, don't do this!" 

He managed to pull her away enough that we stumbled over some people. Who were still alive. I recognized them immediately; Indra and Gaia. 

"Indra!" I gasped, relieved. I crouched beside her and her daughter. 

"Gaia's been hit," Indra replied, cradling her. 

I glanced at Gaia to see her hand pressed over a red spot in her lower abdomen. Probably survivable, but I couldn't see anything in this darkness, and I didn't have anything that could help her here. Hopefully she held on long enough for me to help. 

"Come on, Indra!" Octavia urged. 

Indra shook her head. "No. We can't move her! Wonkru will come back for us!" 

I crouched beside her and pressed my hands to Gaia's wound. "It's okay. Okay. We got this. First we have to stop the bleeding." 

"Not here. We need cover," Bellamy said. He nodded his head towards a curling ridge of rocks. "They won't see us behind those rocks."

Once more, we waited for the light to pass, and then hoisted up Gaia and raced for the rock-line. She moaned in pain as Bellamy gently set her back down. I knelt back down beside her, thankful for the shelter from the eyes of our enemies. 

"Okay," I said, inspecting the wound. I pulled some cloth from my jacket lining and my shirt to tightly wrap around her wound. She winced, but that was a good sign. Pressure would help. "Even if we stop the bleeding, we'll never make it carrying her."

Indra's gaze didn't stray from Gaia. "Save yourselves. I'm not leaving my daughter."

A pang of sorrow struck my heart. I missed Madi. This was the longest I'd been apart from her. Ever. 

"Indra's right," Octavia said. "They'll come back for us."

Gaia glanced at Octavia. When she spoke, her voice was strained. "Why are you doing this? A week ago, you threw us in the pit."

Octavia shrugged. "A week ago you were a traitor. Next week you may be again. Right now, you're Wonkru."

Bellamy scoffed, crossing his arms. "She thinks when Wonkru comes back you'll tell the followers of the Flame to follow her back into the valley."

She grunted. "If they don't, everybody dies." 

A fair point, but this was all on her anyway. We never would have had to fight. Yes, it was my home. I loved it. But it wasn't worth the risk of losing everyone I cared about over. I guess I had to swallow that pill and fight as hard as I could until my dying breath. There wasn't any other option. 

I finished treating Gaia as well as I could without any sterile supplies, and sat back, wiping her blood from my hands. Indra took her back in her arms. I tried to block out her whimpering. I hated seeing people like this. 

"Mama," Gaia rasped. 

"Ai kaumpea augofa," Indra replied.  _I'm here, my child._

 _"_ Yu sona klir ai of."  _You have to let me go._

"NO! Wonkru komraun gon yumi. Vome throdaun. Jus yu ste ko lia ailo," Indra vehemently disagreed.  _No, Wonkru will come for us. They will fight. Just hold on a little longer._

Gaia shook her head. "Na nauna kombai. Wonkru ste shada. Yi gonplei ste odon."  _They won't come. Wonkru is broken. My fight is over._

I bit my lip. This was heartbreaking. 

"Hey, no," Bellamy said, his voice soft. He knelt beside Gaia, eyes wide and full of hope. I smiled to myself. I felt like I hadn't seen him like this in a long time. Too long. Under the most dire of circumstances he could find hope for others. "What about Madi? What kind of Flamekeeper leaves a twelve year old Commander to fend for herself?" 

I nodded, giving support. I may not have loved the fact that my child was Commander now, but I had to make sure she had a safety net now. Someone who believed in her as their life purpose. And that was Gaia. "Keep fighting. If not for you, then for her."

I stared at her, pleading. Something flashed behind her eyes. Something like a will to live. That was always good to see in the midst of battle. 

"Wonkru ste shada," Octavia repeated in a low, wobbling tone. "I broke it."

"Yes," Indra replied, coldly. "You did."

My gaze strayed to Octavia's back. She was tense, gripping tight to her gun, eyes ever watchful. I knew she was still in there somewhere. Beneath all the lust for war, for fighting, for a purpose, my friend was in there. The warrior girl who I fought alongside in times of crisis. Someday, I would fight with her again.

I had to believe that to be true about everything. Someday, we would all be healed. Clarke's betrayal hurt me more than I cared to admit. That was the last thing I knew I had to mend. Maybe it would take years. But I had faith everything would be fixed. 

That, or we would all die tonight. 

"There's someone alive out there!" 

Octavia's words pulled me from my maelstrom of thoughts. Slowly she started to rise, but Bellamy yanked her back down.

"Get down, they'll see you!" Bellamy warned. Sure enough, the man Octavia had spotted was gunned down seconds after rising to his full height. 

Octavia scoffed and glared at him. But the heat in her eyes wasn't for Bellamy. It was self-loathing. "What do you care if I die? Isn't that what you want?" 

He grit his teeth and stared at her with such intensity I almost reeled back in shock. All the years I'd known Bellamy, his sister was everything to him. Now, I saw nothing. "Yes."

Slowly, Octavia turned away from him. Her knuckles whitened around the grip of the rifle. There it was again, that pang of pity for her. I pushed it far down. Now was not the time to worry about her. 

"Her heartbeat is slowing," Indra said, her voice shaking slightly. "We need to go now. I'll give them a target."

I turned and stared at Gaia, painfully limp in her mother's arms. Indra was right. There wasn't much time left for Gaia if we didn't get her proper supplies. Jackson could get the bullet out. All I'd managed to do was stay the blood. 

"The next time they open fire, we run," Indra said, matter-of-fact. I wasn't going to argue her even though I thought it was a terrible plan. Then again, I was dying for a bit of impulse. That girl in me, the one that stepped down on earth for the first time, was desperate to make some ill decisions. I'd been taking care of Madi so long I hadn't realized how much I'd pushed that part of me down. 

Bellamy nodded. "I'll carry Gaia." 

"No," Gaia said, voice strained. "You're not dying for me."

"She's right," Octavia said, when there was a pause of silence. She climbed down from her perch and knelt beside Indra. "I may never be able to fix what I broke. But I can save you. I'm the one they want most of all. When they open fire, run like hell."

She made eye contact with each of us in turn. I nodded once, a show of agreement. I didn't want her to die. But she needed redemption. And perhaps this was the first step. 

"Omon gon oson," Octavia said, turning back to Indra. 

Indra replied, "Omon gon oson."

Octavia stood, heading for the edge of our hiding place, but Bellamy grabbed her arm and yanked her to his level. They stared at each other for an interminable moment. I knew he wanted to say something to her. He couldn't lose her. 

"My brother, my responsibility," Octavia said, tears glistening in her eyes. 

Without another word, she was up, stepping away from us, firing like a maniac. As she shot, she screamed her mantra,  _you are Wonkru or you are the enemy of Wonkru. Choose!_

We all took off running. I helped support Gaia as much as I could. Anything to make our break for it easier, faster. I needed us to get out alive. I needed Octavia's sacrifice to be for something. 

She stopped shouting when her gun clicked. No ammo. My breath hitched, and my heart ceased for a moment. I knew in these part few weeks I'd hated Octavia with every part of me. But listening to the moment before her death was more than I could bear. I was losing another. 

Machine gun fire echoed through the gorge. I squeezed my eyes shut, sure my friend was dead. But when I heard the roaring of an engine, I almost laughed. The rover was pealing down the gorge, firing all its ammo, defending Octavia. Inside, all my friends that had been trapped in the valley were waiting, ready for a fight. 

Murphy leaped out of the back, holding one of the enemy's canons. He whooped. "Yeah! Somebody call for a rescue?" 

He aimed the canon at the ledge of the gorge, but nothing happened. For the time being, I ignored him. Getting into the rover and gaining shelter was more important. I'd worry about him once Gaia was safe. 

"Hurry up!" Emori yelled from the Gatling gun post atop the rover. 

"Thought you said you fixed this thing!" Murphy called to her, struggling to get the weapon working. 

Emori huffed. "I obviously didn't!" 

His weapon started whirring and turning red. I breezed past him as he tossed it as far away from us as he could. We helped Gaia lay down in the back of the rover and then all of us leaped into it ourselves. As soon as my feet left the ground, the rover screeched away. Sand and rocks exploded in the air in our wake as the gun Murphy had been carrying exploded. 

I peered in the front seat to see Madi driving. My heart was so full of joy seeing her again that I nearly exploded as well. I beamed, and kissed her on top of her head, trying my best not to distract her from getting us back to the camp. She returned the smile. 

Satisfied with my brief reunion with her, I threw my arms around Bellamy. We had made it out of the gorge alive. Part of me thought we weren't actually going to make it. But we did. I held tight to him, as if letting go might mean letting go of him forever. Bellamy's arms hugged me just as tight. Over his shoulder, I made eye contact with Murphy, delighted to see him still kicking. 

Now that our friends had gotten us out, I would be sure we won this war. It was time to take my home back. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - 
> 
> Y'all sorry this took like over a month to come out. Unfortunately for a broke college kid work comes before writing! I promise there's more to come! Can you believe we're almost done with book five?


	12. Damocles II

We zoomed into the camp Wonkru set up, greeted by guns and panic. I hardly blamed them. Our situation was dire and our chance of winning was slim. But I was confident. I had to be. 

I leaped out of the rover, immediately running to Monty. Least likely to shoot me, I figured. "Monty, where's Jackson? Gaia's lost a lot of blood!" 

I enveloped Bellamy in a hug as soon as Gaia was handed off to Jackson and could get some real help. I figured maybe there was something I could do to assist, but really the only thing I wanted was to be in his arms. We'd almost died in that gorge. The least we deserved was to hold each other for a moment while the rest of the hopeless world melted away. I buried my face into his chest, trying my hardest not to cry. Leaders didn't cry until the war was won. 

I pulled away from Bellamy as the crowd around us murmured. There is was. That tiny spark of hope that flared in the air around us. I turned to see Madi standing in the center of the circle that had formed around us. Everyone was staring at her. I knew what they were thinking: their Commander had come to save them. Pride swelled in my chest, seeing her stand tall and brave. I'd been so worried about her. Now I knew she was just like the rest of us: willing to do anything to save the people she loved.

"Heda ko posokri!" Someone shouted.  _Heda is going to save us!_

In the corner of my eye, I saw Octavia tense. She pulled her sword from its sheath. I shifted my position, trying to block Madi from her view as if that would help. 

Madi turned to me, desperation in her eyes. "What do I do?" 

I smiled for a moment, ready to tell her to lead us, but Octavia burst through the crowd. Everyone shifted their weapons, pointing them at her, ready to protect my child. Their Commander. 

Bellamy and I linked hands and stepped in front of Octavia, blocking her path. "What are you doing?" 

She glared. "Out of my way."

"O, she saved us," Bellamy said, his voice gruff. 

Madi commanded, "Let her pass!" 

I turned over my shoulder. "Madi-" 

"I said, let her pass!" 

As much as I hated to let Octavia anywhere near her, near my daughter, technically she was in charge of me. Right now, anyway. Reluctantly, Bellamy and I broke apart, leaving a path for Octavia. I balled my hands into fists, trying to contain my fear. I knew everyone would kill Octavia if she made a move on Madi, but in the case that she succeeded, I'd do it myself. 

Tension hung thick in the air as Blodreina and Heda stared each other down. Octavia rose her sword, and I took an instinctive step forwards. But then she surprised me, and everyone else, by flipping the sword upside down and stabbing it into the ground, falling to her knees beside it. 

Blodreina was bowing to her. Hesitantly, everyone lowered their weapons and knelt. Beaming with pride, I dropped to my knees. Madi was going to be the greatest Commander they'd ever seen. I was sure of it. And happy to fight for her. 

* * *

The sun hung low in the sky as morning steadily crept on. Already it was beginning to heat up. Everyone stood in lines, an army ready to march for a home, for a life. I couldn't handle it anymore. I needed something to shoot. 

Echo approached us, as if reading my thoughts. "We can't wait much longer. McCreary has Raven and Shaw. One of them will break and fly that ship." 

"You said Clarke was handling that," Octavia said. 

Echo shrugged. "She is. But I'd rather not let missiles tell us she's failed."

"What's left of the first battalion is ready," Miller said, keeping his head down. He seemed lost after last night. Like serving Blodreina had been his purpose in life and now that the sands of power had shifted, he didn't know what to do with himself. Hopefully I could coax my friend back, the one that I could tease relentlessly before he nearly decked me in the face. I wanted to see life in him again. Not a broken servant. 

"The Commander's army is too," I said, staring out at the ranks. I couldn't believe Madi was leading these people into war. 

"We're all the Commander's army now," Indra said, approaching our group, hand resting on her sword. Perhaps she was itching for a fight too. 

"So where's the Commander?" Echo asked Bellamy. I glanced at him, unable to deny how good he looked dressed in battle clothes, a clash of Ark and Grounder style. A single streak of black paint trailed from his forehead to the bridge of his nose - same as it did on my face, marking us as devout leaders of the Commander's army.

He nodded his head towards a tent. I interlocked my fingers with his and headed for it, followed by Indra. Whatever happened today, I needed Madi to know how proud I was of her. And how much I loved her. 

I pushed aside the flaps to see a plethora of wounded, groaning people. It broke my heart to see them like this. Most of all Gaia. 

Jackson approached us. "She's lost a lot of blood, but she's strong. If we can get her to Abby, she should be able to keep her leg."

He gave Indra a sympathetic smile and left us to be with Gaia. We all stared at her in silence for a minute. I wished her well, hoped she made a full recovery. I knew Madi wanted that too. Gaia was her friend more than mine. As Flamekeeper and Commander, they were bonded. 

I pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head. "It's time, Madi." 

Her eyes darted to me before falling back to the ground again. I bit my lip. God. She was only twelve. No one her age should have had this kind of pressure on their shoulders. But I believed in her. 

I knelt down beside her, brushing a curly strand of hair behind her ear. "Hey. Everyone will follow you. But you have to lead them."

"I don't want to lead them into a massacre."

Indra input, "We have numbers, Heda. As long as we press forward, we'll make it through."

"We'll be right beside you," Bellamy assured her, kneeling down beside me. I glanced at him, a small smile on my lips. I was eternally grateful for him, for his kind support, gentle soul. God I loved him. 

Madi swallowed nervously. "I'm not worried about myself. Look around you. There has to be a better way than rushing back into those guns." 

Indra rolled her shoulders back, obviously discomforted about the idea too. "If there is, we would have thought of it."

"Ask the Commanders," Gaia's faint whisper drew all our eyes to her. 

Madi shot to her feet, and Bellamy and I followed. "How, Seda? They only talk to me in my dreams and show me what they want me to see." 

Gaia raised a hand and cupped Madi's cheek. "Close your eyes." 

"Gaia," Bellamy said. "We don't have time." 

"Just wait," Indra said, her eyes glued to her daughter. Gaia turned and smiled at her mother. I always loved a nice reunion, but Bellamy was right. We  _were_ rather pressed for time. 

Madi closed her eyes and Gaia continued guiding her. "Breathe in and out. Let this world peel away. And repeat after me.  _Mens mea fiat mens tua._ " 

Madi did as she said. As soon as the words left her lips, she jerked back from Gaia's hand, eyes moving rapidly beneath her lids. When her eyes snapped open, she stood straighter. "I have a plan."

"Of course you do," Gaia said, holding her palm out to Madi, in which she held the circular disc the Commanders wore. Resolute and standing tall like the leader I knew she was, she accepted the mark and pressed it to her forehead between her eyebrows. 

I exhaled, calming my nerves. I trusted her. We were going to make it out of this battle. 

We piled into the rover, leaving our army behind with Madi's instructions. As much faith as I had in my child, I still worried about how well it would work. 

"I don't see any missiles," Murphy muttered from the passenger seat as Emori pressed harder on the gas. "Thank you, Clarke."

"Now it's our turn," Bellamy said as we screeched into the gorge. Instinctively, I gripped Bellamy's hand as gunfire rattled the windows. 

Murphy sighed. "Someone explain to me why I'm not shooting his gattling gun?" 

I released Bellamy's hand and gripped tighter to my new bow like it was a teddy bear. "This is Madi's plan. We have to draw out the cannons." 

"By giving them a big target?" Murphy scoffed, throwing a hand up. "Yeah that's a great plan."

I smirked, relishing in how annoyed he got. I missed him. He was so fun to irritate. Granted, it went both ways but ironically, that's why we got along. "Ye of little faith."

The rover skidded, careening to the right. I knocked my head against the wall of the rover. I struggled to stay seated when the rover lurched to a stop. 

Murphy turned over his shoulder, raising a challenging eyebrow at me. "You were saying?" 

"What's wrong?" Bellamy asked. "We're not close enough! Why are we stopping?"

Emori punched the steering wheel. "They got the engine! Damnit! John, get away from the windshield!" 

She rolled into the back with us as gunfire pelted the front, cracking the glass. Murphy, however, did not move. That didn't sit well with me. When he wasn't taking the best chance to save his own hide it usually meant he was about to do something stupid. I hoped this was an outlier case. 

"Ten seconds, full charge," Bellamy warned. 

Murphy finally clambered into the back. "Ready to strike. Big gun. Go! Now! Be heroes!" 

Bellamy and I exchanged a glance, quick nod, and then I kicked out the back doors of the rover. While he fired his gun, I pulled some arrows from my quiver and nocked one. Having a bow in my hand for the first time in what felt like forever was a strange comfort. Firing arrow after arrow made me feel more alive than the first time I'd ever been in battle. I had to say, I missed this. I'd have to thank Echo later for letting me borrow her weapon. 

"Don't have a shot!" Bellamy called over the roar of gunfire. 

I glanced around the ridge. My eyes landed on the gattling gun. "I do!  _Ste yuda." Be true._ I released my next arrow into the sky, watching breathlessly, hoping it would land on its mark. I smiled to myself and slowly lowered my arm as the arrow struck the gattling gun dead center. Rocks and debris spewed into the sky in a dusty explosion. I couldn't help the rush of victory and adrenaline. 

"Haven't lost my touch," I said, grinning. Bellamy shook his head, instead focusing on his own mission. 

"I need to get closer!" He shouted. 

Murphy nodded, heading behind the controls of the rover's giant gun. "Get closer! I'll cover you!" 

"John!" Emori protested. "John, you'll get hit!" 

"I thought you said you didn't care?" Murphy replied, ever so snarky. He groaned as a bullet struck him. Then he let out a furious scream and fired the gun everywhere, taking down the majority of our attackers in a lethal spray of bullets. 

"I'll be right behind you," I murmured to Bellamy, appearing behind him. "If you miss, I'll never let you live it down."

The hint of a smile ghosted across his lips. "I won't miss."

Bellamy dashed out from the safety of the rover and took cover behind a boulder. I ran after him, another arrow nocked, ready to let it fly to defend him. I turned the bow horizontally, let out a breath, and fired. The arrow hit a woman dead in eye. I didn't stop to reload until I was crouched beside Bellamy. 

"Murphy, cease fire!" I shouted. 

Another moment and the gun went silent. I peeked over the boulder and was met with dismay."Still no cannon. What do we do now?"

Bellamy and I risked another peek over the shelter of the rock to see the cannon we'd been waiting for had made an appearance. He turned to me with a small smile, and I replied with one of my own. "Now, we win."

He stood up, fired his gun directly at the cannon, and dropped back down. I sheltered my head from the blow, in case any of the debris made its way to us. Thankfully, we were safe. I turned to Bellamy, pulsing with confidence, tasting victory on my lips. We were so close. This would work. We would get our home back. 

The Commander's army made it through the gorge. All together, we headed into the valley, straight to the heart of it. I hated to see this village, my home, smoking, littered with guns and bodies. My stomach churned. Anger roiled in my core. I would not lose today. 

I was the first into the town, brandishing my bow and arrow. "Weapons down!" 

Bellamy was right behind me, aiming his gun. Behind him, the army poured out of the trees, surrounding the village. They greeted us with guns, obviously not willing to give up their safehaven.

I repeated myself, this time with more ferocity than I'd ever managed before, cold challenge sparking in my eyes. I would not lose. "Put your weapons down now!" 

This time, they obliged. All of my enemies fell to their knees, hands raised in the air. 

" _Takem au aou!"_ Madi commanded from beside me.  _Kill them all_. 

I faltered, and moved in front of the men on their knees. "Halt! Hold on, hold your fire! They surrendered! It's over."

Madi turned to me, glowering. I'd never seen that look in her eyes before. I knew the feeling though; so close to vengeance, desperately needing to win. I didn't like that look on her. "They killed hundreds of our people in that gorge!" 

I held out a hand to her. "This can't be what the Flame is telling you to do."

"I don't need the Flame to tell me what to do with a bunch of criminals who invaded our home!" Madi argued. 

My heart sank. I glanced at Bellamy who nodded at me encouragingly. "We've been here before, Madi. We were the criminals. The one hundred. We landed in someone else's home, and we went to war. You can execute them because they're the enemy, or you can break the cycle. You can be better than them. You can be better than us. The choice is yours, Heda."

A moment of silence passed as we stared each other down. I knew she was struggling with the decision. I hoped she'd make the right one, the one that would keep her from being constantly weighed down from guilt, the one that would grant her a future unburdened by her past. 

Before she could make her choice, a siren blared. Everyone looked around uncomfortably. 

"What is that?" I asked. 

"The evac signal," one of the criminals replied. "It means conditions are unsafe. We're supposed to bug out."

Raven's voice crackled through the radio speakers set up through the village. "Everyone listen up. Life as we know it is about to end. Again. Get your asses to the transport ship now for immediate evacuation."

My heart pounded so hard in my chest I feared it would crack my ribs. Another time? No! I  _just_ got my home back! Now it was at risk. Everything I knew and loved was at risk. 

Another voice joined the radio signal. "Raven? It's Monty. We're transporting the wounded." 

Murphy was among them. I closed my eyes, trying to push through my worry. I hoped they all made it. 

"Thank god, Monty! Hurry!" 

Monty sighed. "It's slow going. So, putting aside a thousand other questions, how long do we have?" 

"Nine minutes," Raven explained. "We'll wait as long as we can."

I returned my arrow to its quiver. No need for that anymore. The world was ending. Major déjà vu. I grabbed Bellamy's hand and we all took off through the village. The transport ship we needed to survive was far outside of it. I knew exactly where it had landed. Madi did too. Everyone followed us as we tore through the woods. 

Finally, we broke out of the treeline and there was only open field between us and salvation. Standing on the landing dock was Clarke. Honestly, I was relieved to see her. Even after she betrayed me, after I nearly had to kill Bellamy in an arena because of her. Madi was safe. Bellamy was safe. I was safe. And now I knew Clarke was too. 

She ran out to meet us. I enveloped her in a hug as soon as we met. I held tight for just a moment before releasing her. 

"Everyone get in the ship. Now!" Clarke demanded. 

Bellamy and I hung back with Clarke as everyone raced around us to get inside. The radio declared we had seven minutes left until whatever was coming our way killed us. It was not comforting. I hoped Monty and Murphy arrived soon. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving them down here to face certain death. 

"Clarke, what is this? What's going on?" I asked. 

She glanced around, before taking a step towards the ship. "I'll tell you inside." As the criminals raced past us, Clarke hardened her stance. "No! Not them!" 

"Yes, them," Madi argued, and I was proud of the conviction in her choice. "First we save their lives, then we let them prove they deserve it."

"The Commanders told you that?" Clarke asked. 

Madi shook her head, and glanced at me. "No. Y/N."

Clarke smiled softly at me. I couldn't tell if she agreed with my suggestion or not. 

"Where's Abby?" Indra asked, rushing up to our group. "Gaia will need her."

Panic flashed across Clarke's face. "She's not with you? She was at the village. I've gotta get her!" 

I grabbed her hand, desperate to make her stay. I couldn't risk her life. "No! We left a group to go door to door! They'll bring her in." 

Though clearly still distressed, Clarke seemed to decide that was enough for her to stay. Although, now that I thought about it, I hadn't seen my father around here anywhere. I hoped he was okay. 

I waited outside the ship with Bellamy and a few others, all spaced out, ready to intercept the stragglers carrying the wounded and make sure they got on board. There were only three minutes left and still no sign of them. Hysteria gripped at my throat, threatening to choke me. I forced it away. I could be manic when I was sure there was no time left. I wouldn't mourn my friends until there was no chance they were alive. 

"Monty, do you read me?" Raven called through the PA radio. "Where the hell are you? Please respond! Guys, if we wait much longer, we're not going anywhere."

Madi appeared at Bellamy's side. I was far enough away to have my own section of forest to focus on, but close enough I could just barely catch the conversation they had. 

"You have to forgive her," Madi said, obviously talking about Clarke.

Bellamy made an annoyed sound. "Now's not the time, Madi."

"Do you have any idea how much she cares for you? Both of them?" 

"So much she left me and Y/N to die in a fighting pit," Bellamy replied, his voice gruff. I knew how much it had hurt him too. 

Madi sighed. "That was a mistake. How many mistakes did you make to protect the child you loved?"

"That was different."

"Was it?" Madi prodded. "You understand. So does Y/N. That's why she's forgiven Clarke." 

She only kind of understood. I appreciated her faith in my good character. But I wasn't sure I was on great terms with Clarke yet. Not at the moment anyway. 

"She's a much better person than I am," Bellamy replied, and I could almost feel his gaze burning into my back.  _You're too good for this world_. The phrase echoed in my mind, coaxing a smile up my face. 

"Which is why you should trust her judgement." There was a pause of silence, and I could almost feel the weight of the betrayal lifting from Bellamy's shoulders. Hopefully he would forgive her. I wanted us all to have a fresh start when we made it to safety. "I shouldn't tell you this, but when you were on the ring, Y/N called you on the radio every day for six years. They both did. You didn't know that, did you?"

I glanced over my shoulder at Bellamy and smiled. He returned it. 

"There!" Echo shouted.

Immediately, I jumped into action and raced towards the treeline. Octavia and Abby were carrying a stretcher, calling for help. I stopped in my tracks as soon as I saw who it was that was unconscious. 

"Dad?" My voice cracked. I was stricken with shock and terror. What had happened to him? Was he going to be okay? What did I last say to him? "What happened to my dad?"

Clarke fell in step beside Abby. "Look, Mom, I didn't know!" 

Abby shrugged. "You couldn't have. The mothership has an O.R. If I can get up there, I can save him."

My heart leaped into my throat. Save him? Was my father going to die? A sonic boom in the atmosphere drew me from my worries. Abby was talented. He would be fine. I had to believe he would be fine. Now was not the time to break down. 

"Sonic boom!" Bellamy shouted. "It's close! We have to hurry!" 

Harper's voice echoed behind us as we made it to the ship. "Hey, we're right behind you! We have wounded!" 

"Get my father onto the ship!" I commanded. "We'll be right behind you!" 

"Where are the others?" I asked Harper when I fell in step beside her. 

"Murphy was hit bad!" Harper explained. "We didn't have another stretcher for him, but they're coming, they have to be!"

I nodded and urged Bellamy to help everyone else on the ship. I couldn't step foot on there, not until I knew Monty, Murphy, and Emori were on it too. Clarke kept trying to reach them on the radio but there was no response. I fought back the tears welling my eyes. I couldn't leave without them. I couldn't lose them! 

"Uh, guys? Look up," Raven said through the radio. I glanced to the sky to see a flaming missile heading for the heart of the valley. "We can't wait! We have to close the door!" 

"Y/N!" Clarke called from the door. 

I didn't even turn to her. "I'm waiting for them!" 

There was one minute to impact. Sixty seconds, and we'd die. 

"Y/N, we have to go!" Clarke called, her voice shaking. 

I kept my eyes trained on the trees. I'd forgiven her for saving Madi, but not for leaving me behind. "Clarke, you do what you have to! I am NOT leaving my friends!"

I'd stayed down to die once before. I'd do it again. 

I turned to her, locking eyes. The desperate pleading in her gaze broke my heart, but I couldn't give up hope. 

"Clarke, we have to fire the engines," Raven said. "Close the door, or I will."

She shook her head and said into her radio, "Raven we need a little more time."

"There is no more time!" She argued. 

Thirty seconds. 

"Tell Y/N to get on the damn ship," Raven demanded, a sadness in her voice. I doubted the thought of leaving me on the ground again sat well with her. "Clarke, I don't wanna do this either, but I'm firing the thrusters!"

As the engine powered on and the PA kept counting down from thirty - seventeen now - that was when I heard him. At the sound of Monty's call, my heart soared. I bounded across the field to him, taking half of Murphy's weight from him as I thew his arm over my shoulders. 

"Did we make it?" Murphy murmured weakly. 

I smiled. "Time to spare." 

Once we were on the ship, Clarke pulled the latch to close the door. As it slowly rose, I caught a glimpse of the missile striking the valley. The happy home I'd spent years in, went up in a cloud of ash before my eyes. I blinked away a tear. It was gone. Nothing I could do about it now. 

We made it onto the mothership without anymore casualties. I wandered the halls, hand in hand with Bellamy, trying to ignore the moans of pain from the infinite numbers of wounded. Near the med bay, we found Clarke sitting alone, a blood-stained dusk mask hanging around her neck. 

I sat down beside her, pulling Bellamy with me. "How's Murphy?"

"Jackson got both bullets. He'll be okay," Clarke replied, wringing her hands together. "Cockroaches are hard to kill. Emori's with him now. And Gaia's gonna keep her leg."

I chuckled softly, half-heartedly. It eased some of my worry, but there was a more burning question in my mind of which I feared the answer. Now that I wasn't battling criminal maniacs or dealing with betrayal or imminent danger, I had time to process seeing my dad on the stretcher, bleeding, unconscious. 

Trying to keep my voice from shaking, I looked her in the eyes and whispered, "My dad?"

Pity crossed her features, which made my heart lurch. Already, a lump formed in my throat. "They put him in a drug-induced coma. I'm not sure why, but Jackson says there's not enough of the drug to keep him that way for long. It doesn't look good."

My vision blurred. I couldn't stop the tears that rolled down my cheeks. Bellamy put an arm around my shoulders and drew him into me. With one of my hands, I reached out and gripped Clarke's fingers. She was as much my family as anyone and I needed her comfort too. 

"What if he didn't need the drug?" I ventured, trying to find a solution. I couldn't just let my father die without at least trying to do something about it. "I don't know much about cryosleep but at least it will keep him alive. Right?"

Clarke squeezed my hand. "That's brilliant. I'll tell my mom!" 

She stood to relay the message, and Bellamy and I followed. 

Bellamy cleared his throat. "Hey, when you're finished, come to the bridge. We're deciding the fate of the human race. Again. You should be there." 

Clarke glanced between the two of us, then glued her gaze to the ground. "You're not mad at me for leaving you in Polis?" 

We exchanged a glance and broke out into smiles. 

"The Commander ordered us not to be," Bellamy said. 

Clarke smiled. "I'll meet you on the bridge." 

As we made our way to the bridge, we passed by Octavia. The Blake siblings held an intense gaze for a moment. Bellamy tensed. I knew how he felt about her now. I could hardly blame him. It was hard for me to forgive her too, but I knew that Blodreina was dead. It was just a matter of reviving Octavia Blake. My friend. 

In any case, Diyoza showed up and we moved on. After everything she'd done over the last few years, she wasn't invited to the bridge. Part of me wondered if she'd just suggest we all fight until no one was left. 

I broke away from Bellamy when we made it onto the bridge and stood beside Monty in front of the window. Staring down at the brown, barren planet filled me with a deep, heavy melancholy I wasn't sure I could shake. Earth was dead. 

"It's gone, guys," I murmured, hardly believing it to be the truth. 

Shaw pressed a button and a panel slid up the window, hiding the carnage of the planet from our view. 

Bellamy turned to everyone on the bridge, hands clasped behind his back. "Like our ancestors on the ark, we're the last of the human race." 

"Our ancestors were wrong," I input. "We're not." 

Bellamy continued, "Four hundred and twelve people on this ship. Thanks to Madi, we saved who could be saved. Now, it's our job to keep them alive. How do we do that?"

Monty stepped forwards, pulling a canister from his jacket pocket. "Algae."

Murphy groaned. "Oh, float me now."

Bellamy laughed, and I managed a smile. 

Shaw raised a tentative hand. "Can I...?"

Bellamy nodded. 

Shaw said, "From what we know about the half-life of hythylodium, it'll be at least ten years before that valley comes back. This ship does have a small water recycler and a few weeks worth of rations, but that's it. Cryo is the only option. There are five hundred pods which is more than enough for what we need." 

Raven nodded. "I agree with Shaw. The tech is amazing. We go to sleep, we don't age, we wake the next morning, it's ten years later. And Bob's your uncle."

Monty smiled. "I thought you hated that phrase."

She shrugged. "It's growing on me."

"It's up to you, Madi," Bellamy said, and we all turned our gazes to her. 

She stared out at us, and found my eyes among the small crowd. I gave her a small, encouraging nod. It was the best course of action. 

"Okay," Madi agreed. "I guess it's time for bed."

About an hour later, and almost everyone was in their own cryopod, already asleep. I'd said goodbye to Monty and Harper, as they were the few friends of mine that I could get a hold of. 

"See you around, losers," I said, pulling them both into a tight bear hug. 

Monty rolled his eyes, but it was in good fun. "Don't get into too much trouble." 

"Oh, poor sweet Monty. I love you. I will literally never  _not_ be in trouble." I grinned, punching him in the shoulder. "See you on the other side." 

Harper waved as I headed over to Madi. 

She was standing beside the one she would lie in, her hair long and free over her shoulders. I loved to see her looking more like a child and less like a Commander with legions of warriors at her fingertips and too much power to bear. 

I sighed. "Alright Madi, we're all set. Did you say goodnight to Clarke?"

She nodded and hopped up onto the silver platform. I smiled at her, trying my best to be reassuring, even as tears threatened to fall from my own eyes.

"Will we dream?" She asked, and I could tell she was scared too. 

"I don't know. But if we do, I'll see you in mine." I pulled the Commander's circle from her forehead and tucked it into the drawer beside her cryochamber. I kissed her on the top of her head. "Come on."I helped her lay down. "You ready?" 

Hesitantly, she nodded. I gave her another reassuring smile, and entered her digits into the electronic panel beside her pod. Madi Kane popped up. "I'm so proud of you, Madi." 

I pressed the button to begin her sleep. The bed slid into the chamber, and the door came down. Immediately, it froze. I didn't know why it was so hard to watch her go. It was only a nap. And she looked at peace. I think we all deserved at least that much. 

I stood by Madi's pod, and watched as Bellamy put his sister to sleep. I couldn't tell if it was a heartfelt goodbye or not. Hopefully when we all woke up again, the relationship would heal. I'd known Bellamy for years, and I'd never known him to leave his sister in the dust. All I wanted was for him to be happy. Having his sister in his life was a big part of it. 

As soon as Octavia's chamber closed, I approached Bellamy. Gently, he cupped my face with his warm hands and drew our faces together. In all our time together, we'd never had such a soft, intimate, gentle kiss. It was tender. Warmth spread through my veins, like a hug from the inside out. All I wanted to do was hold him, tell him everything would be okay, have him tell me everything would be okay. 

"I love you," he murmured, when he pulled away. Our faces were a hairsbreadth apart. 

I wreathed my fingers through his curly hair. "You're making it sound like this is goodbye." 

"I'd never say goodbye to you," Bellamy promised. 

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close. "You're so fucking cheesy. Never change, Blake."

"Wouldn't dream of it, firecracker." 

* * *

I blinked my eyes open to darkness. I took a deep, cleansing breath, trying to orient myself. For a brief moment, I forgot where I was. Memories washed over me like a tidal wave. The war, the strike on the valley, saying goodbye as everyone I loved went into cryo. It all felt like it happened yesterday. 

I sat up and rolled off my bed. It was silent. Eerily silent. Everyone else was still asleep. Why was I the only one awake? Had I woken up to soon? Had my pod malfunctioned? I breathed through the panic, and instead focused on stretching out my limbs. 

I dropped to the ground and pulled the sleeves of my long-sleeve shirt over my hands to warm them. I guess I should have expected cryosleep to leave me feeling chilled to the bone when I woke up. 

I looked at the pod beneath mine to see Madi still sound asleep, not aged a day. 

The sound of another pod opening caught my attention. So I probably hadn't woken up early. It really had been ten years. We'd make it back to the valley. 

I smiled when I saw that it was Bellamy who was awakening. I stood above him as he blinked his eyes open. "Hey." 

He smiled back, furrowing his eyebrows, probably reliving the same cloud of confusion I'd had. "Hey."

I helped him sit up, relishing at his warm touch. Amazing how even after being frozen for a decade he could still warm me to my core. 

"Why is it just us?" He asked. 

A voice behind us replied, "That's the way mom and dad wanted it." 

We both turned to see a young man standing at the mouth of the cryosleep containment chamber. My breath hitched when I saw how much he resembled Monty. But...wait. That didn't sound right. 

"Uh, can I just say...wow!" He said, eyes wide with admiration. "I mean, I can't tell you how good it is to finally meet you! Weird, but good. Great, actually!" 

My hand found Bellamy's as we cautiously approached him. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. "Who are you?"

He shook his head, then nodded. He seemed a little offbeat. In a familiar way. "My name, right! I didn't tell you my name! Sorry. I've never met anyone before, so I clearly suck at it." He laughed, and a smile quirked at my lips, but I still didn't know who the hell I was talking to. "I'm Jordan! Monty and Harper's son."

I stared at him in disbelief. Jordan was way older than ten. This didn't make any sense. 

"They didn't go to sleep," Bellamy said. 

My heart dropped. No. They had to have gone to sleep. 

Jordan turned to Bellamy, eyes shining with an innocence I'd never seen in anyone. "They talked about your time on the ring a lot. Too much, actually. How happy they were. I guess they wanted to get back to that. Get dressed and come to the bridge. Dad left explicit instructions. Wake Y/N and Bellamy first. Play them the message." 

He turned to leave, but I stepped towards him, still not processing how Monty and Harper, my friends who should only be in their thirties by now, could have had a son who was my age. "Hey, wait! How long were we asleep?"

Jordan exhaled slowly, as if he didn't really want to tell us. "One hundred and twenty five years."

The information hit me like a slap to the face. Over a hundred years? So...but...but that meant that my friends were dead. Why? Why wait that long to wake us up?

Bellamy and I hastily changed our clothes and headed to the Bridge where Jordan was ready with a video for us. I interlocked my fingers with Bellamy's, desperately needing his comfort to watch what I was about to see. 

Monty's face popped up on the screen, and I smiled. "Hey guys, it's been about a year since you all went to bed. Not much to report, really. My algae farm is awesome. No surprise there."

I laughed softly. 

Monty on the video continued, "Oh! I'm able to monitor conditions on the ground using the ship's geological equipment, so, I'll know when it's safe for us to go back down. Gets a little lonely sometimes without the rest of you but the peace and quiet is what -" 

"Monty, I've been waiting!" Harper's sultry voice interrupted Monty. 

"Harper, wait, I'm in the middle of-" 

"You promised me," Harper argued, falling onto his lap, kissing him. "We have another forty staterooms that-" 

Harper glanced up and seemed to notice she was on camera for the first time. Clearly embarrassed, she giggled and ducked out of view, leaving a blushing Monty in her wake. He cleared his throat. "Uh, not a lot to do in space." 

Jordan's face twisted in disgust. "I so did not need to see that."

I rolled my eyes. Kids. 

The video changed to a new date - March 10, 2158. Harper was incredibly pregnant, and Monty was beaming with pride. 

"Hey again," he said, smiling wider than I'd ever seen him do on earth. It was nice to see him so happy. "Today's the two year anniversary of the long nap. Harper's been eating a little too much algae." 

She laughed. "Hilarious. Hey guys! Um, surprise. Ha! Ohh, we picked a name today! Boy or girl. Jordan."

"I think Jasper would like that," Monty said. A pang of sorrow struck my heart. I thought he would like that too. "Anyway, still no sign the ground is coming back. I wouldn't expect it this soon, so I'm not worried. We'll check back in next time there's news."

May 10, 2158. A baby was fussing on the screen. Monty's voice said off camera, "Meet Jordan Jasper Green. Shh. That's all for now. Harper's resting. We're both good, though. He'll be eight when you meet him. I can't wait to see your faces." 

I glanced at Jordan to see him engrossed with the video. I couldn't blame him. I loved watching it. Monty was so genuinely happy. 

"Things didn't go as planned," Jordan said, eyes still glued to the video of his father kissing baby Jordan on the head. 

April 26, 2166. 

"Happy wake up day!" Monty said on the video. His hair was graying. God that was so strange to see. Part of me didn't believe any of us would ever make it to the possibility of gray hairs. "Ten years. And since you're watching this sometime in the future, you know now that...I didn't wake you up. That's because there's still nothing down there. I'm working the problem. I've told Harper it's to be expected, but, um, well, that's a lie. This is gonna take a while. Jordan is doing great though. He's a happy kid. I took a page from Y/N's parenting book. He knows all about you guys. Believe it or not, Murphy's his favorite."

I threw a pointed look at him. He shrugged, obviously a little flustered. God this kid was too innocent. Teasing him was gonna be way too easy. "It was a rebellious phase."

"Anyway," Monty continued, "It's gonna be a while. I'll let you know if something changes."

November 3, 2184. 

Monty and Harper showed up on the video together, both with long gray hair, aged faces. They had to be nearing fifty now. 

"Hey guys," Monty said, his voice somber. "It's been a long time since we recorded one of these. We just put Jordan in cryo. He's a good boy." 

"Smart like his father," Harper said, smiling up at Monty. 

"And kind like his mom." Monty sighed. "We chose this life. He didn't. Hey. If you're watching this kiddo, we love you so much. Did you follow my instructions?"

Jordan nodded, working his jaw. I knew he was holding back tears. I was too. 

Monty chuckled. "Assuming he did, hey Bellamy. Hey Y/N. We wanted him to wake you first so we could talk. Earth isn't coming back. You've been asleep for over twenty-eight years and it's as dead as the day we left. I'm working on a Plan B though. If you're awake, that means I found it. I'll see you again when I do."

He moved to turn off the camera, but Harper grabbed his hand. "Wait, not yet. Take care of our boy." 

I swallowed over the lump in my throat. I swore I wouldn't let anything happen to Jordan. 

February 8, 2206. 

Monty took forever to sit down in front of the camera this time, and I knew he was aged well beyond even my father. His gray hair trailed down to the middle of his back. That happiness that had been in his eyes in the earlier videos was gone. There was nothing. Barely even hope. 

"Jordan," Monty said. "Your mother died today. She was pretty sick the last few years. Clarke was right. Her dad's medical condition finally got her." 

Hearing him say Harper was dead hurt me like knife had been drawn down my chest. She was gone. I couldn't hide my tears anymore. 

"We had a good life," Monty continued, his voice shaking. "Sometimes, I know she wanted to be with you guys. Maybe I did too. But if we did that, I wouldn't be able to show you this. Son." 

Jordan took his father's cue and flipped a switch on the panel. We turned to the window to see a planet beneath us, blissfully white and blue, ripe with land and greenery. A sun shone in the distance, surely warming the planet beneath it. My breath caught in my throat as I stared at it. I'd never seen even Earth look so lush. 

Monty continued in the background as Bellamy and I stared, hand in hand at the place we'd call our new home. "It took me thirty years, but I finally cracked the Eligius three mission file. Turns out it wasn't a mining mission. After sucking the earth dry of oil, they went looking for another planet to tap." 

Another, redder sun rose over the horizon of the planet. My eyes widened. "Two suns?"

"I set the coordinates a week ago," Monty said. "If I'm right, you should get there in...seventy-five years. I'm tempted to put myself into cryo to see it, but without Harper...anyway. It's in the Goldilocks zone of a binary star system. But that's all I know. Eligius three never radioed back, or, if they did, it was after apocalypse one so no one heard it. Can you see it? Is it beautiful? It is in my dreams."

Yeah. It was beautiful. Breathtaking. Hypnotizing. I couldn't wait to set foot on it. 

"I hope we do better there," Monty said, and a few tears rolled down my cheeks. I glanced over to see Bellamy crying too. "I hope Jasper was wrong and we aren't the problem. I hope your lives there will be as happy as mine has been. Be the good guys. May we meet again."

In harmony, Bellamy and I replied, voices thick with emotion, "May we meet again."

Bellamy put his arm around my shoulders, and I leaned into him. Tears blurred my vision now. Monty was dead. He'd found us a home to go to. A good one. And he believed in us. 

I looked up at Bellamy wiping a few of his tears with my thumb. I hugged tight to him, keeping my gaze trained on the beautiful planet. I believed in us too. I wouldn't let Monty down. 

We would do better there. We would be happy. And safe. And we would finally get the peace we deserved. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all sorry it took me a MONTH to write this. I literally wrote this all today because I was so stressed about leaving you guys with one chapter left lmao. Anyways, that's the end of book 5!!! I'm super pumped for the next one! Honestly, season six was one of my favorites (even though Monty wasn't in it) because it was SO PRETTY like honestly. And super interesting plot. Anyways, see you all for the next one! Hope you've been enjoying!


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